Child of Earth in Spira
by lightningrook
Summary: When Kelle goes out for the day with her friends, she was just expecting to go shopping. She did NOT bet on the train crashing and getting sucked into her favorite video game as a result. "I swear, someone up there hates me." She just can't catch a break.
1. Baaj to Besaid

**Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING. Except my beautiful kitty, Socks. If you're reading, Socks, hey baby, mommy's on the Internet! More to the point, this is a self-insertion thing. Yay!**

**My POV - My House**

"Mom, I'm off to the riverside with my friends!" I called. I heard her reply, slightly irritated I'd interrupted her über-important vigilant watch for the aliens landing. Thank God that her brand of craziness didn't run in the family, or I would be seriously screwed over. Thank God for mp3 players and PS2, the things that kept me sane.

Trent, Shell and I were planning to go out of town to catch a movie (our town is absolutely tiny – it doesn't have a cinema or ANYTHING that should be remotely fun that hasn't been wrecked by the little BRATS down my street, who are for ever making everyone in the neighborhood's lives a fricken misery by egging people's houses and basically spoiling everything for everyone), which is something my mom is ABSOLUTELY awful about. I'm not actually allowed out of town because "the streets aren't safe anymore". Not even with my friends. I have no freedom.

"Hey, you're late." Shell said.

"Like the train, I suppose?" I laughed.

"Yeah. Don't worry; we already got you a ticket." Trent said, handing me said ticket.

* * *

**On the run down, smelly train that has gum on the seats...**

"Hey, why are we stopping?" I asked, noticing we were slowing down. Then there was the announcement tone.

"Apologies for the inconvenience. We are experiencing engine problems. Please wait and stay calm, the problem will be fixed soon." I heard the guy on the intercom say. I gazed out of the window. This _sucked_. We'd already reserved and paid for our cinema tickets! And now we were gonna miss the Goddamn movie. They better refund our tickets, or I will be maaaad. And when I get mad, all should take cover, friend or foe. My uncle taught me LOADS on how to fight, and when I'm mad, it takes a lot to stop me going berserk. I noticed a train coming, but rather than it just going by, it had switched tracks and was on a collision course with us.

"Oh my God, we're gonna crash!" I yelled, pointing at the other train. Then there was the sound of the screeching noise of the train hitting us, and all went black.

Then pyreflies were everywhere in the blackness. They were soo pretty. Wait. PYREFLIES??? This was _so_ not right. I did a 360 turn and saw the small fayth boy.

"Don't be afraid. You must come to Spira." An infinite light surrounded me and I passed out.

* * *

"Hey, hey, wake up!" I heard a gentle voice say, and I felt a warm hand shaking my shoulder. I muttered something incoherent.

"Wassap?" I slurred. I opened a bleary eye, and saw Tidus sat next to me. Freaking TIDUS. I pulled myself up. We were in the Baaj Temple ruins. Oh, joy.

"My name's Kelle." I said, rummaging through my backpack (while also silently thanking the fayth for materializing it here with me, even though I didn't have it on the train with me). I found a pair of dark gray sai blades, yaaaayness. Something useful.

"Let's get going before we freeze to death." Tidus said, not really liking my expression. With good reason, too... (I can get pretty nasty when irked) I dived into the water.

"Follow me." I said. I swam to where I knew the Al Bhed compilation sphere was. I activated it, and the info sped into Tidus' head (HAHAHAH). We swam to the ruins, where the chest and Al Bhed writing were. I translated it and wrote it down in my (Thankfully not wet) notebook. Did I ever say how much I loved that backpack?

"_In the land where bolts of light,_

_illuminate the blackest night,_

_with Macalania behind,_

_the fourth pillar you sight,_

_Look not on the left, but on the right."_

We swam on, and found a huge building. Baaj Temple. I couldn't tell Tidus this, as it would affect his story. I spied the Onion Knight chest, but left it. We would get it when we had the Celestial Mirror. A Geo whatsit attacked us, and chased us inside the building.

"If we ever come back here, that thing's head is going on my mantelpiece at home!" I said.

"Yeah." I grinned at his response, shivering. Ohhh, God, it was freezing in here!

"Come on."

I found some tinder, and Tidus found some flint. We made a fire, and ate some energy bars from my pack (Don't ask me how they got there, I didn't pack them or anything), but we were still hungry. _Hurry up, Rikku. Save us_. I thought desperately. As if on cue, a fiend with scythe-like legs and a blade on its head attacked us. I jumped on it's back and started tearing out chunks of flesh with my zai.

"_Hurry! Help us!_" I called to her in Al Bhed. She nodded. I jumped off it as Rikku chucked a couple of grenades at it. Me and Tidus slashed it, and Rikku blasted it, until the damn thing died. The Al Bhed with Rikku started saying we were fiends in human form. Rikku knocked Tidus out, and one of her cronies bashed me around the neck and knocked me out.

"Uhh, I'm gonna get you guys for that." I growled as I woke up after. I had my pack, and I had my stuff, except my weapon. I noticed Tidus passed out next to me. "Wakey-wakey, sunshine." I said jokingly, shaking him. He groaned and woke up.

"Where are we?" He said.

"I think we're on their ship. We're powerless. They have our weapons. _Damn_." I replied. The door opened and Rikku, Brother, and other Al Bhed came out.

"_Search them!_" He said. (A/N: When the words are in Italics, in speech, It's Al Bhed.)

"_Wait my name's Kelle and this is Tidus, please don't hurt us, we washed up there!_" I said quickly. "_Please give us back our weapons, we will help you in return._" I added. I winked at Tidus and he nodded.

"_Deal. Does he not speak?_" Brother asked. I shook my head. "Ti, we're gonna help 'em. They'll give our weapons back. No attacking." I said to him. I turned to Brother. "_Okay, done_." Rikku pulled us over and pointed to the water. We nodded and dived in with her.

* * *

**Still my POV, later on salvage ship.**

Tidus ate his food like a total pig. Then he choked and gagged. Rikku gave him a drink. She'd spoken to us in true English, or Spirean, I don't know.

"It's 'cause you eat too fast!" Me and her chorused. I had my weapons back, and all my stuff intact. Life was sweet. I boredly sat on the edge of the deck, my legs dangling boredly. _Oh, for God's sake, why won't Sin come and sink us already? _I thought boredly, rolling my silver-gray eyes and shaking my chocolate brown curls out of frustration and boredom. _I bet this is some whacked-out coma dream anyway. That train collided, I should be in hospital – not here..._ _Though I'm not complaining..._

"Rikku?" Tidus said. They went into their second conversation.

"You'd rather stay here?!" Rikku said, at the end of their conversation. Tidus shook his head. "OK, I'll go tell the others. Wait here." She walked off. Before she reached the door, the ship shook. The Al Bhed guys came running out.

"Sin!" one yelled.

"_Sin is come!!!_" the other cried.

"_Under us! Under us!_" panicked the other guy. The ship gave an almighty lurch, and me and Tidus fell into the watery depths, Rikku looking over the railing to see us falling to what she possibly thought was death. I hoped not. That would _really_ suck, to die in a coma dream (Still not quite convinced this was reality.)

I woke up once again, near to Tidus in the water near Besaid. He spluttered, and lifted himself up.

"Rikku!" Tidus shouted. A blitzball hit us both on the heads.

"Blitzball!" he said cheerfully. I merely gritted my teeth and muttered choice curse words, rubbing the VERY sore lump forming on my forehead. Meanie.

"Hey, You OK?" A guy with crazy red hair yelled at us.

"HHHEEEEEYYYY!!!!!" Tidus responded. He dived under the depths and shot the blitzball back to it's owner at astonishing speeds.

"Who-ho-ho-ho-hoa, h-hmm." Wakka grinned, probably thinking _Yes, if this guy joins, we'll actually might win a match this year!_

"Wait." I said to Tidus. I swam to the hidden area of the beach and retrieved the Moon Crest. "Now we can go there."

The Aurochs gathered around Tidus like he was an animal at the zoo. But it was funny to watch. Actually, it was hilarious.

"You wanna... try that move... one more time?" Wakka said. Tidus happily complied. "You no amateur. Who you play for?" He said in his heavy accent.

"The Zanarkand Abes!" Tidus replied cockily.

"What team you say again?" He said dumbly.

"The Abes are a little-known memorial team." I lied. The fool didn't suspect a thing.

"How come you washed up here, ya?" he asked.

"Sin attacked our boat. I feel kinda nauseous." I muttered. No lie, I really DID feel sick. Probably from hunger.

"Sin's toxin prob'ly gotten to ya. But you both survived. Praise be to Yevon."

He looked at us sympathetically and I said, "Who are you?"

"I'm Wakka, coach _and_ Captain of the Besaid Aurochs, brudda. Let's go to the village, I'll get'cha somethin!" Me and Tidus smiled gratefully.

We walked to the valley. I dived in, because I didn't want pushing. Tidus (poor guy) felt the wrath of Wakka's Push Of Doom. It was funny to watch. Then Wakka dived in. He'dve crushed poor ol' Ti if I hadn't saved his butt.

"This way? Are you _sure_ there's no way of getting there without getting wet?" I said grumpily. Wakka nodded wickedly. _Liar_, I thought.

At the village, everyone was edgy, because the apprentice summoner (Yuna) hadn't returned from the Cloister Of Trials for over a day. Wakka gestured to us.

"You do remember the prayer, right?" Tidus opened his mouth to speak, but I got there first. "I remember Yevon, but I forgot how to pray, could you show us, please?" I said politely. Wakka nodded and showed us slowly. I did the prayer gesture perfectly, and Tidus did passably OK.

"OK, now, go present yourself to the temple summoner, then we can eat." Tidus and I nodded in unison.

We ran to the temple and I heard the Hymn of the Fayth and felt a little better. Tidus walked up to a statue of Lord Braska, Yuna's father, not that I told or anything.

"Ten years have passed since Lord Braska became High Summoner." A priest said. "And, finally, we receive a statue for our temple."

"What's a high summer-ner?" Tidus said. Gasps erupted from the temple-folk (as I like to call them).

"Forgive him, we were attacked by Sin. We washed up this morning. The toxin is making our heads funny. Please, refresh his memory." I said, doing the dorky-prayer-bow thingy. Ugh. Politeness BAD. Tidus bowed his head.

"Pray hard, and I am sure Yevon will help you regain your memory." the Yevonite said.

"We will." I said, with my fingers crossed behind my back. We left the temple and walked toward Wakka's hut.

"How do you know what to say? I mean, you're obviously not a Yevonite." Tidus said.

"I'm not from anywhere near here, but I'm smart. I know more than some about this particular... place, but I never expected to come here. That's not what matters. What does is the future. Look to that." I said. We were quiet the rest of the way there.

"Sorry, guys. No time for lunch yet. Take a nap, you look bushed." Wakka said when we arrived. I slept on the couch, and Tidus got the bed. Real polite world, ain't it? I didn't really sleep. I waited for him to fall asleep, and went to the clothing shop. I bought a mini-skirt, and a tight black vest top with silver tribal designs of flames along with a black and pink silk bandanna. I also got a black leather belt. The buckle was silver, and had a swirl design with lots of mysterious glowing gems incorporated into the design. I bought straps for my whip, and belt pouches for items. Out of my bag I pulled pink Al Bhed-style shoes to complete the outfit. They were really comfy. I ran back to Wakka's and Tidus was still asleep, thank GOD. I laid down and feigned sleep until Wakka and the priest guy came in.

"You could at least go see how they are doing." The priest said.

"We can't interfere, it's a rule!" The crazy-redhaired Yevonite said. What is it with Wakka and rules? He seems to have some kind of Yevon-slash-rules fetish. Rules were MADE to be broken, in my opinion anyway.

"But, it's been nearly..." The priest began as they walked out. I sat up and waited for Tidus to wake up.

"Wakka?" He asked groggily. I got up.

"Not here. Should we look?" I said. He nodded, and we went to a Yevonite's favorite place, the temple. What a co-inky dink, he was there, arguing with the priest.

"What's up?" I asked.

"The summoner hasn't returned from the trials." he said simply. Tidus and I ran up the stairs.

"Why don't you go check?" I asked.

"There are already guardians in there. Besides, it's against the rules." Wakka said seriously. Okay, his obedience was starting to freak me out! Seriously, who adheres THIS closely to ANY rules?

Tidus and I started up the stairs.

"Hey, but what if something happens? What if the summoner... dies?" Tidus cried, worried.

"The precepts must be obeyed!" the priest said furiously.

"Like I care!" he said, le gasp. He simply ran inside.

"Sorry, but I have to keep an eye on him. He might hurt himself." I said, bowing. Then I ran after him, feeling filthy after my show of politeness. I was _never_ polite, only to my friends, and even THAT was rare.

We worked together to complete the trials and used the destruction sphere to find the hidden treasure, which was, predictably, a Rod of Wisdom.

As we completed the trial, Wakka came in. "Only summoners, apprentice summoners, and their guardians can enter here." he said.

"What about you?" Tidus asked in complete bemusement.

"Me? I'm a guardian." Wakka replied, crossing his arms across his chest. The lift started up and took us down. We walked to the antechamber.

"What are you doing here? Didn't think we could handle it did you?" Lulu greeted Wakka with. I noticed a Ronso at the other side of the room.

"Is the summoner alright?" Tidus asked. Lulu walked up to him.

"Who... are you?" she said, looking incredulous, for her, anyways. Tidus didn't get a chance to reply, because the door to the Chamber of the Fayth opened and Yuna stumbled out, falling into Kimahri, who caught her. Good reflexes, I must admit.

"I've done it... I have become a summoner." She gasped happily. Funny. She signed her own death warrant and she's _happy_?! They really done a number on her, eh?

Tidus and I walked outside, and Wakka got us both on headlocks and dragged us to the front of the crowd. "Wait til ya see this!" He said. Yuna summoned the beautiful bird aeon, Valefor. The village celebrated what they called the "birth of a summoner". Yuna may not have had parents most of her life, but she was well loved and cared for, unlike me. Night fell, and Tidus was with the Aurochs. Cheers of "Victory! Victory! Victory!" could be heard coming from the ecstatic team. Tidus walked over to where Yuna was, and I merely watched from afar, not wanting to get an earful.

"You heathen!" The old man yelled at him.

"You're a bad man!" The little girl cried.

"Stay away from the summoner!" The old lady crowed. Hag. Yuna got up and started to walk over to him.

"Lady Yuna, be careful!" the geezer cautioned.

"But it was really my fault to begin with." she said softly.

"Oh..." the old guy looked upset at that.

"I'm Yuna. Thank you so much for your help earlier." She said, not noticing the pussy-whipped expression on Tidus' face.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that. Were we not supposed to... guess we kinda overreacted." I said, since Tidus clearly wasn't able to.

"I saw that aeon thing, that's amazing!" Tidus finally got out. Yuna looked ecstatic. _Yes, forget all about me. I don't matter. _I thought, pissed off. Heck, I was lonely. And worried about what had happened to Trent and Shell.

"Really?" he nodded. "Do... you think I can become high summoner?" he nodded. Tidus gave her one of those goofy smiles. "So, tomorrow then."

"Tomorrow?" Tidus said. "We're going on the same boat, aren't we?" She said, puzzled.

"Well, if he is, I am." I butted in. Tidus smiled at me.

"Uh huh." Tidus gave me a noogie, alarming Yuna. "Well, yeah, that's how I get to Luca to blitz with the Aurochs, right? Oh, and this is Kelle." Tidus said. The little brat came over.

"Lady Yuna? Come play with me some more!" She said. I guess she didn't know how it sounded. As soon as they were out of earshot, I burst out laughing.

"Do you know how funny 'come play with me' sounds?" I said through fits of laughter. Comprehension dawned on his face and he started laughing too.

"You have a dirty, dirty mind, Kelle." This made me laugh more. "It makes you laugh, though!" I said. He nodded. We went to our beds in the Crusaders' lodge. That night I had a dream about my ex who cheated on me with some girl who'd had so much plastic surgery, she'd got an award for it. Probably 'cause she'd had her boobs stuffed to the size of footballs. When I woke up from it, Tidus looked at me funny.

"Who's a cheating bastard?" He asked.

"My ex. I was dreaming about when I found out he was cheating on me with some faker. It... hurt so much." I said sadly. I hung my head and he placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Hey, if we see him, lemme know and I'll kick his butt. Nobody hurts a friend of mine and gets away with it." He said. "Where'd you get the new clothes?"

"When you were asleep, I went shopping." I said. "Like 'em?" I smiled. He nodded.

I took out my mp3 to listen to (Right then, I was very happy. I hadn't expected my mp3 to be in my pack), and Tidus asked, "What's that?"

"An mp3, Tidus. You save music on it, and it lets you listen to it on the move." He nodded and laid down. I left and went to the beach and listened to my favorite song.

When the song finished I went back to the village.

* * *

I woke up bright and early. I took a shower and ate some breakfast. I walked outside to where Tidus, Wakka and Lulu were. Yuna hadn't come outside yet.

"Yo, sleepyhead! Somethin' I wanna give ya." Wakka said to Tidus. He pulled out the beautiful Brotherhood sword. "And you." He added, handing me pink mother of pearl coloured sai blades, like the ones I already have, only more awesome (Meaning they were a lot sharper). And they were lightweight. And they came with free strength boosts.

"Thank you!" I said, beyond happy. "They're great!" Tidus swung his sword a little, only to be interrupted by Lulu.

"That's the sword you gave Chappu." She said monotonously.

"Well, he never used it." Wakka said. Yuna came out of the temple with a HUGE trunk.

"You really don't need all that luggage!" Lulu called in a motherly voice.

"Uhh, they're not really my things. Th-they're gifts for the temples we're to visit!" She called back.

"This isn't a vacation, Yuna." Wakka said gently.

"I... I guess you're right." She replied. She walked over to the huge yellow circle in the square and looked back at the temple, saying goodbye to the place she'd never see again, or so she thought. The others left the village, but I had other ideas. I went to the weavers' hut closest to the temple and I collected the **something slobbery and mangled** from the dog which gave Valefor the overdrive Energy Blast. I caught up with the others and we fought the first battle together. There were two lupine-type fiends, and a flying-type one. I took out one of the lupines, Tidus the other. Wakka got the flyer. A elemental flan appeared next.

"That... looks like trouble" Wakka muttered to us, but Tidus, cocky as usual, just said,

"Heh, watch this!" He attacked it with his Brotherhood and it had next-to-no effect. "What the?"

"Told ya. Only magic can beat that thing. If ya can't beat 'em down, ya gotta hit 'em with magic of the element they don't like!" He replied smartly. How weird. Wakka being smart. "Let's have our black mage show you what I mean!" He switched with Lulu, since we weren't gonna switch.

"Clueless, aren't you? Good thing I'm here." She cast Thunder on it and the twat died.

"Cool, could you teach me magic?" I asked her in admiration. She gave me a small smile and nodded. Next, a HUGE birdy-thing appeared outta NOWHERE and attacked me. It left a really deep gash in my stomach and I collapsed. I had no armor to defend myself yet. I was awake and the pain was unbearable. I was so sleepy.

"Kelle!" Yuna rushed over to me and I felt a warm sensation on the gash. I looked at it and it was gone. Even my skin-tight vest had the rip fixed. She summoned Valefor and it made mincemeat of the sucker. I found a Safety Band in a chest which fitted me. I noticed it had Auto-Shell and Auto-Protect on it. (A/N I don't know the name armor gets when it has those auto-abilities, so bear with me.) Another birdy-thing appeared, and in my rage over what one of those had done to me before, I drew my weapons. I jumped on its' back and slashed its' guts out 'til it died.

"Damn you!" I shouted. Last time I was injured so bad was by my cheating ex, so obviously I got mad. So taking my anger out on it felt good. I broke off some chocolate from my bag and stuffed it in my mouth. Tidus smiled reasurring at me, saying it was alright. "That felt nice." I said calmly.

...Yes, in case you are wondering, I _do_ have a psycho temper.

We walked to the dock, where loads of people were waiting to say their final farewells to Yuna. One little kid was crying. Poor thing. I walked and sat on the deck, where I watched the Aurochs mess around. I waited near Wakka and Lulu, watching the crowd around Yuna disperse, then Tidus went to speak to her. Then, the boat shook.

"SIIINN!!" One of the sailors screamed. Or Jecht, as I happen to know. Lulu had taught me the first level spells like she said. Well, nodded. I mashed two out of three sinscale and me and Lulu cast Thunder on the fin at the same time. Yuna then Grand Summoned Valefor and it used Energy Blast and then the evil bitch (Sin) retreated. Wakka noticed Tidus had gone overboard, so he dived in after him.

The wait was agony, even though I knew they'd be fine. Why? Because Yuna was flapping around and panicking over him. She'd ended up sobbing into my shoulder that she was afraid and blah blah blah. I just reluctantly patted her back and reassured her that everything would be fine. Peaches and cream, and all that lah-dee-dah.

When they did surface, Yuna was happy-happy-happy, hugging them and going on about how she'd been so worried and telling them to never worry her like that again.

The rest of the day, Tidus rested his head in Yuna's lap and gazed at her.

"I will defeat Sin... I must defeat Sin." She said. I nodded.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you liked the rewrite!**


	2. Kilika

**Disclaimer: I own NOTHING -sniffle- Except Socks. I PAID FOR HIM!!! Oh, and my clothes. What? I don't steal other people's clothes! **

**Kilika Dock**

When we got off the boat, there was an aura of despair hanging over Kilika. I didn't expect anything less. I'd been a little seasick. I had never, ever been on a boat before. Especially after what happened to my uncle. He got blown up on a boat, so you can understand the fear. I almost kissed the ground in relief, but this wasn't the time. And, besides, the floor was DIRTY. And there might have been a dead body there, and I'm squeamish about that. You will tell no one.

I think my eyes were starting to change from exposure to magic, as I practiced a lot with Lulu. I checked. My eyes were now purple-gray. Huh. Yuna offered to do the sending. Depression time. We walked to the broken square.

"What's a sending? Are we going somewhere?" Tidus asked. Lulu sighed.

"You truly ARE clueless. Are you sure it's just your memory that's the problem?" Lulu asked, giving him the "You idiot" look. "The dead need guidance. Filled with grief over their own deaths, they refuse to accept their fate. They yearn to live on, and resent those still alive. You see, they envy the living. And in time, that envy turns to anger, even hate. They become fiends, that prey on the living." she said, putting a dramatic tone in that last sentence. But then maybe that's just Lulu. "The sending takes them to the Farplane, where they may rest in peace. Sad, isn't it?" She finished.

"Summoners do this?" Tidus said. Lulu nodded. The sending started. Yuna walked on the water, a thing only Jesus was said to be able to do. She started dancing, and the hymn of the fayth started up. Pyreflies erupted from the coffin-things. It was beautiful, yet sad. Tidus was looking, transfixed at Yuna. People started to cry. One girl fell to her knees. I was fifteen, but I was used to goodbyes. Also my mother's demented ideas that she was a witch was something that was a regular. It was scary. She even forked out twenty quid on a spellbook. Then she told me to keep it secret, cause it was her "secret weapon". Back home, magic didn't even exist. I could do magic here, so would I take my magic back with me, if I ever woke up?

Poor Yuna was crying afterward. So much death, all at the cause of one thing. Sin had killed more people than any war in our world. Yu Yevon is a screwball. Was and is. Tricking people to give their souls up. And using them to kill their possible descendants. Bastard.

"Must be tough, being a summoner." Tidus commented, watching Yuna walk off.

"Yuna chose her own path. She knew, from the beginning, what it meant." Lulu explained tiredly. "All we can do is protect her along the way. Until the end." Tidus looked puzzled. HE didn't know. I did.

"Until the... end?" He asked, scratching his head. Lulu sighed.

"Until she defeats Sin." I told him for her. Go me! The Line Thief. Cool.

"Oh. Hey, Kelle, your eyes are changing color!" He said. I nodded.

"Magic exposure." I simply said. "What, you didn't think Lulu's eyes were NATURALLY that color? They used to be brown."

"Whoa, long as it don't hurt, Kelle." Tidus replied.

We arrived at the inn. It was cozy and had clean things in, so I was happy. THE FOOD WAS INCLUDED AND FREE!!! GO ALL-INCLUSIVES! I felt like shouting. But I didn't know whether or not all inns were all-inclusive. Which sucked. I helped cook my favorite dessert, because I wanted it, and they'd never heard of it, so I cussed like a sailor in Al Bhed, which thankfully only Tidus heard. They had the ingredients, though, so I made chocolate cake with butter cream icing. Yummy. I powdered some sugar and sprinkled it on top. It was a big chocolate cake, because Wakka was there and he stuffed his face like a pig on the main course and was still hungry. So I HAD to make lots.

"Whoa, what's that?" Wakka asked, eying my creation suspiciously.

"Yummy choccy cake!" I yelled, sugar hyped. OK, so I'd eaten a bag of it. I NEEDED ENERGY. But, I'd eaten waaay too much. "Don't worry! It's great!" I added loudly. I'd also downed a heck of a lotta coffee. Wakka stuffed his face, as I'd expected. Then I ran around the room. Tidus laughed, then realized I WASN'T acting, so he picked the manically giggling me up and locked me in my room. BIG MISTAKE. I bust the door down, and went on a crazed rampage in the woods. Tidus had to track me down. He found me up a tree.

"ME SUGAR HYPED!!! WOOOOOOO!!!" I screamed. Then I lost my balance and Tidus caught me. The end of my hyper-ness happened, and I passed out. He carried me back and put me to bed. He says he told them I'd gotten coffee hyped, as they'd cut my sweetie supply off, which is what kept me going. He'd told the others how he'd found me, and they found it hilarious. I guess...

* * *

**Next morning.**

"Kelle, will you blitz like that for us? Get hyped and blitz with us!" Wakka said. I agreed. But, only cause I got to play against Bickson the Bully, who I hated from the game. Same guy. I would be in defense, tackling them and passing. I would hype Tidus in the second half if I had to. WE WOULD WIN. We were at the entrance to the woods. At least Tidus kept his promise, and took care of me. God knows what could have happened if he hadn't come. I ran off and got two Mana Spheres. I had a sphere grid, too, but I'd 'modified' it. The attributes on my path went, Strength +4, Defense +4, HP, MP, Magic +4, Magic Defense +4... in that order. Of course, it also had Warrior and Mage abilities in. All the Mage ones, and the speed and delay attacks for Warrior. I mean, I could use two Special Spheres, and learn Steal and Use. So, basically, like Kimahri, I was an all-rounder. Except that Kimahri had to choose a path to learn and stick to it, mimicking the chosen person. My grid didn't have locks on, though, so I can go anywhere on the grid and not waste spheres.

I ran all over the woods and got the items, then we made the way, sadly plagued by fiends, to the temple. It was cool. There were these glass ball thingies with fire inside. I wonder how they did that... Can't have been easy.

The pompous Goers came out. Wakka seemed to know them. "You here to pray for victory, too?" He asked them.

"Us? Pray? Who needs to pray? The Luca Goers always win!" The red-haired prick said.

"This time, we play to win!" Me and Tidus said at the same time.

"Ooh, play away! Just remember, even kids can play, boys." The redhead twat said.

"I'm a girl, bastard! I'm a kid, and I'm gonna kick your ass when I catch up with you!" I shouted, starting to run after them. Tidus caught me and dragged me in.

It was BOILING. Flames were everywhere. It may have looked pretty, but staying in there too long is a death sentence. It didn't bother Wakka, Lulu and Yuna, the rest of us were having a hard time. Especially Kimahri. With all that fur, I really don't think he should have come in. Tidus looks really faint, and I'm sweating. I swear, I'm gonna have a swim when we get back to the dock. Then, Dona walks in. Great.

"My, my, my. A summoner, are you?" She (Aka, slut with butt hanging out) asked Yuna. Yuna nodded. "And all these... people are your guardians? My, what a rabble!" Slut Queen said.

"I'll rabble you in a minute!" I growled, and Tidus held my arm. "I can't stand her, already! Have you seen musclehead?" I muttered, then I made whipping motions and noises to match. He laughed loudly, and I laughed with him.

"What are YOU laughing at?" she said, after Yuna had gotten at her. I did the whipping thing again, and Tidus collapsed in laughter. She didn't get it. "Hmph. Barthello, we're leaving." she said.

"Woof woof. I'm a dog, boss me around, Dona!" I said, making Tidus laugh more. The others looked at us weird. I'd explained the joke, and they laughed too. "Did you see her dress, Tidus? Her butt was practically hanging out! I'm wearing a mini skirt, but MY butt isn't showing!" I added smart assly (Tell me if I invented that, cause I've never heard or seen it before. I'll copyright it. Not really, it was a joke). My mini was indigo and black. My shoes looked OK with it. Tidus nodded and laughed again.

"It looked more like a slut garb than a summoner one!" he said. He was right. The others entered the trials, and Tidus and I were forced to wait by the lift.

"Where's Yuna?" Dona asked as she walked in. Tidus pointed in the general direction of the lift.

"Then why are you two here?" she asked, as if we were retarded.

"We're not guardians yet." Tidus said. BIG MISTAKE.

"Not guardians, you say?" she pushed me onto the lift, and Barthello bodily threw Tidus on top of me. He. Weighed. A. Ton.

"Oww..." Then the lift symbol glowed, and we began our descent. Tidus got off, apologizing.

"This is bad, REALLY bad." Tidus said. I simply huffed and crossed my arms, walking over to the doors to the Trials. "What are you doing, we aren't allowed!"

"You're acting like Wakka." I commented, walking in with him following. Since Tidus was still reluctant to do this, I completed the Trials on my own, collecting the Red Armlet on the way in.

"What in YEVON'S name are ya doin' in here?" Wakka asked.

"Blame Dona and Barthello." I said simply.

"Yuna will be the one to suffer the consequences, she could be excommunicated!" Lulu snapped.

"Re-_lax_. After Yuna's speech earlier everyone will think we're guardians anyhow. Nothing will happen, don't worry about it." Lulu sighed.

"On your own head be it..." she said, exasperated.

I just waited. Wakka and Lulu explained about the fayth to Tidus, then he pitched out a spot and waited.

She came out, and we left the temple. The woods weren't as bad, this time round. My magic had risen a good bit. I did 600HP damage in one Fire spell on the plant thingies. We'd already killed Lord Ochu. OVERkilled actually. Rest in peace, Ochu thing. Hahahahaha hehehehehe. I have a very good evil laugh when I want to. It's creepy. I used it earlier and Tidus creeped out, thinking the booger man had come to get him. He screams like a girl. I told him this, and he blushed. Well, I HAD said it in front of Yuna, who his eyes were fixed on the WHOLE time.

"Pussy-whipped..." I taunted, doing the whip thing yet AGAIN, and Wakka laughed at Tidus' failed attempts to stop gazing at her. "Stop that, or people will find out about your stuffed chocobo named Yuna!" I hissed in Tidus' ear. He gasped.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" He screamed, running as fast as he could to the docks.

"What DID you say?" Lulu asked in amazement. I shook my head.

"I said I'd tell you his darkest secret." I said evilly. Lulu smiled.

"Ahh, that one. Must be embarrassing. I have the same for Wakka. He ate a slug by accident once, and it's his greatest shame. The worst thing is, they're his favorite food and he eats them regularly." She whispered in my ear. I grossed out and ran after Tidus, much faster. I got on the boat and hid in the cabin. Tidus was already stood there. I hid. He saw me and smiled.

"What's wrong?" he asked. I told him Wakka's dirty secret. He shuddered. We went on deck, purposely avoiding Wakka. I was really, really bored. I found myself worried about my friends. What if they were... What if they... I couldn't take it, and finally broke down. They were the only people who actually gave a fricken damn about me.

I cried. Tidus did the Jecht shot. Wakka made him do it again. Then he talked to Yuna.

"Wonder where Kelle is?" Wakka said. I sniffed loudly. "Kelle? Wha's wrong?" He asked, seeing my tear-streaked face and my runny nose. I cried more. Wakka got Tidus, who tried to get me to talk.

"Kelle, you can tell me, we're friends, right?" I hugged him and cried on his shoulder.

"Trent... Shell... I'm so worried... what if they..." I started, but couldn't bring myself to say it. I sobbed into his shoulder. He carried me to the cabin once I fell asleep.

Next thing I knew, I was alone, and we were docking.

* * *

**End of chapter 2**

**A/N: What did you think? The button isn't gonna bite. Click it, and see. -Blows Kiss- The first of Kelle's friends comes back in the next chapter! YAAAAAY!!!**


	3. Luca

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Final Fantasy or any characters, official artwork, or any other media associated with it. It belongs to Square-Enix. WELCOME TO CHAPPITAH THREE.**

**Luca - Dock 2**

I was a freaking nervous, worried WRECK when we docked. What if they were hurt??? Or _worse_??? If I had nails before, I certainly didn't now.

"Well, well, well! If it isn't... The Besaid Aurochs! They're a living, breathing, statistical impossibility! I've never seen a team this bad!" Bobba said in his announcy-voice.

"There are just a few diehard fans in the audience today." Jimma intoned.

"Well, moving right along, the next team off the ramp is... Yes, this is it, folks! Our very own LUCA GOERS!!!" He shouted the last two words.

"Bit biased, aren't they?" I smirked. Wakka nodded.

"It's like this every year, ya?" He explained. I walked away, to the edge of the dock. Tidus started his megaphone (So much for "No machina") rant, and I joined in, waving at the guy with the spherecorder.

"HIYAAAA!!!" I yelled. Much to my surprise, the guy waved back.

-*-*-*-*-

**The cafe...**

Trent stared. Kelle was on the sphere! He ran out the door.

"Hey, we got customers, asswipe!" yelled the woman behind the counter, who had employed him.

"I QUIT!" he shouted over his shoulder. He'd wanted to say that since about an hour after he started working here, anyway.

-*-*-*-*-

**Back to Dock 2...**

"What in Yevon's name were you doin' up there?!" Wakka yelled.

"We sure stood out though." one of the boys commented.

"We were on the sphere!"

"KELLE, WHERE ARE YOU???" I heard a familiar voice yell. I got back on top of the crates and spotted the owner of the voice. He's OK!!!

"TREEEEEENT!!!" I screamed, jumping up and down. Then the pile of crates fell over, and my world lurched in a way that was very painful. Trent had fought his way through the crowd.

"Kelle! You're okay! I thought...!" he pulled me up and hugged me in a flash, making my face flood red. Okay, so I had a crush on him. My stomach was doing flip-flops. Massive über flip flops. He looked so hot in his outfit! He always looked like a geek back home, and now... WOW. Holy bajesusfuck. He wore a red well-fitting T-shirt with black sleeves, and a chunk of funky-looking metal armor on his left shoulder. His hair was messy (in a very cute and sexy-type messy way), and ever the emo, his bangs covered one eye. Normally he gelled it all back, save his bangs, which he left in his face, and he wore black baggy commando-style pants, with LOADS of pouches on. He wore his trademark black star customized sneakers. All in all, a VERY attractive look for him that went with his personality.

"Uhh... Kelle, who the hell are these people? I mean, I know who the Aurochs are and all, but who are these guys?" Trent asked quizzically.

"Um, Trent, this is Tidus." Trent and Tidus shook hands. "This is Wakka." Wakka mangled Trent's hand. "This is Lulu." Lulu smiled faintly. "And this is Yuna. She's a summoner." Trent bowed his head politely. "And, guys this is Trent."

"So, uhh... where's Shell?" Trent asked, thinking we were all together again.

"Haven't found her yet." I sighed. "I hoped you had." I said quietly. Then the whole fuss over Maester Mika started and we were ushered over to the Number 3 Dock.

"Who's this Maester Mika guy?" Trent muttered in my ear.

"Basically the head of all the peoples of Spira. He's from Bevelle, far as I know, and this blitz tournament is being held to celebrate him being maester for 50 years..." I explained quietly.

"Oh, right. Are they all old geezers?" he snorted.

"Three out of four of the maesters are, yeah. The newest and youngest one's a freaky little creep though. But don't say I said that." I whispered hurriedly, as Seymour (SICKO) came off the boardwalk. "That's him." We ALL noticed him give Yuna "that look". Eww... pervert. Tidus looked furious.

"Why's that blondie glaring at the blue haired guy like that?"

"Tidus. He likes YUNA! So it's understandable that he's mad, due to the look that _Maester_ Seymour was giving her." I said, making the word maester sound like something filthy and slimy. Well, it was! He smiled. We went to the cafe. We found Tidus, Yuna and Kimahri there. Al Bhed snatched Yuna. Kimahri was in a fight with Biran and Yenke, Tidus cheered him on.

"The game!" Me and Tidus panicked. We ran outside. Lulu ran to meet us.

"Where in Spira have you been? Yuna's been kidnapped by the Al Bhed Psyches. In exchange for her safe return, they want the Aurochs to lose. If they're only blitzers, I doubt they'd do anything drastic." She explained.

"How good a team can they be?" Tidus said.

"We don't have time for this. Let's get her." I said.

"The Al Bhed boat is in Dock 4. Let's go." Lulu said. We ran to the dock 1. Machina attacked us. Tidus was kind enough to lend Trent a sword. I drew my blades and did ten slashes really fast. The first one fell to bits. Lulu Thundered the other one. We ran to the next one, Trent and Tidus got them, we all took it in turns. Eventually we reached the dock. The boat was leaving. We did a running jump... and made it. The Oblitzerator popped outta the ground.

"This is some mean shit." I said, casting Thunder on the crane. Lulu did the same. We dodged Silence Balls. I cast it again. It used Blitzball Rush. Kimahri healed us with Potions. Lulu cast Thunder on the crane one last time, and it started up. Tidus activated it and yanked off the ball shooters. I hoped it'd drop into the water and frazzle. No such luck. We beat it down, and it EXPLODED. Funny. The door opened, and Yuna walked out. Lulu worried like an anxious parent. I didn't pay attention. Do I ever? Lulu sent up a signal. The Aurochs won the game, but Wakka was injured. We got back to the locker rooms.

"Stay away from Al Bhed, ya? They're trouble." Wakka said, exhausted.

"Not necessarily. Al Bhed saved me and Ti. Ooh, rhyme!" I said, hyped. Trent laughed and hugged me.

Tidus and the others went in the blitzsphere, pissing me off because I was only their BACKUP. Ingrates. Lulu was watching over the now-passed out Wakka, so I decided to hang around the players' lockers. Wakka woke up a couple minutes before halftime. Just in time to see Datto take a MEAN foul. But whatever. We were in the lead, 1-0. But for some reason, Datto just floated in the water, unable to swim. He'd have to wait until halftime to switch with me.

"Kelle? You said you never played blitz before, ya? I know you know the rules, but for newbie players in a tournament, a debut match like yours, you can use a mouthpiece to breathe with. Not to mention, it lets you talk underwater, remember that."

"I can?" Wakka nodded. "Sweet."

"Wait, you're playing?" Trent asked, worrying that I'd get fouled like Datto.

"I'll be fine. I'm the Almighty Kelle, 'member?" I smirked. Halftime came, and Datto was laid out on the bench.

"Right everyone, zone defense! Stop those Goers!" Wakka cheered.

"Captain!" we all said cheerfully.

"What about me?" Tidus asked.

"Get the ball and shoot like crazy!"

"Got it!" we went into the sphere.

"Good luck, Kelle!" Trent called.

And, sadly for the Goers, I was VERY, VERY hyper, and I had a high endurance. I would either pass to ball to Tidus, who'd try to get to the goal and shoot (He managed to score once), or bust through their defenses and shoot by myself (I scored once). But then a bad, bad thing happened. Doram, Balgerda, Graav, and Bickson all surrounded me so I couldn't pass or shoot. Then the girls held me while Bickson snatched the ball. But the referee didn't call the foul, even though all four of them would be sent off and the Goers would automatically forfeit due to the fact that they didn't have anyone on the bench. Then the crowd started cheering for Wakka, so Tidus left the spherepool, and Wakka came back in.

He motioned for Jassu and Botta to follow ANY PLAYER who could get the ball, and for Letty to pass to either me or him. There was a huge tussle between us for the ball until the end of the game, though, and we ended up winning 3-1. Wakka simply floated on his back.

"You gonna be OK?" I asked, remembering the mouthpiece's ability to allow me to talk. He nodded and Tidus came in. He gave us thumbs-up. Then, Sahagins got in. There were about 15 of them. I killed as many as I could, but my hyper-ness was wearing off fast. I passed out in the water.

-*-*-*-*-

I awoke in the locker room. Trent was looking after me. I smiled and sat up. He saw me up and grinned.

"You OK?" He asked me. I pulled out the mouthpiece (Of Evil DOOM).

"Yeah. Well, not tired. Just... you know." I said weakly. He hugged me. I rested my head on his shoulder and leaned in on his head. I felt him freeze a little. Why? I wondered. I felt cold. I cuddled up as much as I could. I felt weird in my gut. He pushed his head nearer mine. It was a nice hug., until a fiend got in. Trent killed it, and we left to find the others, fighting off fiends the whole way. We found them in front of the steps leading to the Mi'ihen Highroad.

"There you are. You OK? Here." Yuna said, and she healed me. I heard her beckon Tidus over, and they talked.

"And who might you two be?" I turned around, and there was Auron.

"I'm Kelle, and this is Trent. We aren't guardians yet. You must be Sir Auron." I said politely.

"Yes, you are correct. Did the fayth bring you? I hear from Miss Lulu you are not of this world." Auron said.

"I don't know about Trent, but they brought me. Not against my will, or anything." I answered. He gave a half smile.

"The fayth? There was a kid in a purple jacket with a yellow wheel on the front, telling me to come to Spira, but I don't know about any faith." Trent said. I sighed.

"That was the fayth for Bahamut, the one in Bevelle, no?" I said, looking at Auron for confirmation, who nodded. I explained, in detail, what the fayth and aeons were.

Then, Tidus' crazy laugh sounded. "Yup, completely pussy-whipped." I muttered, and sat on the railings opposite them. Trent laughed quietly. I messed his hair up.

"HEY! Ohh, you are gonna pay for that!" He said, I ran away from him. He caught me, and tickled me. Eventually, he stopped, and we just looked over at the lovebirds, who were staring at each other. Again. Sheesh.

"KWEH!" I said, suddenly. Tidus shot a glare that said, don't you dare... So I didn't. I told Trent. He laughed.

"Seriously, that is WEIRD, Tidus!" He gasped through laughter. I got picked up, screaming. Cheeky twat had his hand SUSPICIOUSLY close to my butt. He had me slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. He slowly put me down, and looked into my eyes, his face beet red.

"Next, we go to the temple at Djose, and guardians, don't forget to smile!" Yuna said playfully. Tidus put his "CUTE" smile on, trying to impress her. And damn, did it ever work. She gazed at him, then headed up, followed by me. I didn't like Mi'ihen. Not at all.

-*-*-*-*-

**A/N****: Yaaaayness! Teh rewrite is complete for this chapter! Oh, and if you're wondering how I'm redoing this thing so fast, it's because I'm sick off college, and I want something to do.**


	4. The Mi'ihen Highroad

**Disclaimer: See previous chapters. I can't be bothered typing a disclaimer EVERY chapter. **

**Hope you like this chapter.**

**Mi'ihen Highroad, South Exit**

Tidus beat me to the top of the stairs! Grr... I decided to plot my revenge as I walked.

We walked on, and found Maechen in front of some impressive ruins. He started his speech, blah, blah, blah.

"... Compared to Sin, humans are mere mud puppies." He finished his long uninterrupted speech.

"But I believe that humans are the only ones capable of defeating Sin." Yuna replied confidently.

"A good reply. I am glad to hear you say that, milady summoner." He commented.

"Oh?" Yuna said.

"Where are my manners? I am Maechen, a scholar, at your service, milady." He said warmly. We left him, after politely (not my forte) saying goodbye. We carried on... And found the Chocobo Knights.

I carried on, already bored. I played with little ice balls on my hands. I stopped and waited for them to leave. The others came, and we carried on. Luzzu and Gatta called us over.

"Congratulations on the tournament, you three." Luzzu said to Wakka, Tidus and me. We looked at the floor modestly.

"It's nothin', guys." I said. They smiled. I THINK Gatta was hitting on me, because he was smiling really enthusiastically, and Trent came over. He said he wanted to talk. How very smart. I complied.

"Who were they?" He asked me.

"Them over there? Crusaders. The dark-skinned one is Gatta, and the redhead is Luzzu. The operation won't work, I'm the all-seeing Kelle. The people riding chocobos were Lucil, Elma, and Clasko." I said. He nodded.

"That Gatta guy was hitting on you." He muttered. I smiled.

"Thanks. He ain't my type. I'm serious. He may stand up for himself, but he's obsessive about stuff. Like fighting Sin." I said, reasurring him.

"... He touches you, he dies." He said protectively, like a big brother, or something. I hugged him gratefully. Lucil and Elma collected the slacking Crusaders. We ran to the Agency. I tell you it was a long, _long_ way. I was bushed.

"We rest here." Auron said.

"But this is an Al Bhed shop!" Wakka protested.

"Stop bitching and shut up." I said. "This is prejudice. Some Al Bhed are genuinely nice people. They can't control their race and beliefs if they were brought up to believe it." I said, shutting Wakka up. I really hate racists. That and I was exhausted from running and killing fiends with no breaks.

"But they don't believe in Yevon, and in Luca they –" He shut up, seeing my glare.

"And where were her guardians?" That REALLY shut Wakka up. The look on his face!

* * *

I decided to go talk to Lulu and practice my magic. I knocked on the door to her room.

"Come in."

"Hi Lu. Um, can I practice my magic with you?" she nodded, picking up her moogle.

* * *

Remind me to never, ever piss Lulu off.

* * *

I decided to go out at sunset, when Lulu and I were done with our practice. Tidus walked out after me.

"Whoa... Check it out!" He said quietly. Yuna was recording her goodbye sphere, and was JUST about to say her feelings for Tidus. Not that they know this. I am, after all, the all-knowing Kelle. I know Tidus' fate, and Yuna's. What I DON'T know is if I'll get home. I don't WANT to. I wanna leave mom in the crazy house, and never think of school again. Except I might learn about machina from Rikku. I mustn't forget to ask her.

"...at the world's edge, in Zanarkand." I heard Yuna finish.

"Zanarkand?" Tidus asked dumbly.

"Not YOUR Zanarkand, Ti. The one here's ruins." I said, before Auron could get there.

"You will go with us... to Zanarkand?" Yuna asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I'll go. I'll go to Zanarkand... to see it with my own eyes." He said, voice full of emotion. Yuna beamed.

"If you chicken out, Ti, I'll kick you to kingdom come and back, got it? Yuna's got her hopes on this." I whispered to him. He nodded and went inside with her. I stayed out and watched the sunset.

"Not coming in? Are you OK?" Lulu asked me.

"I'm just worried about Shell." I said quietly.

"Who's Shell?" Lulu asked.

"A friend of mine and Trent's. We either got separated or she isn't here." I said softly. "I hope she's okay. The three of us have been the awesome trio since we were five." I explained.

"Hmm. But at least you are okay. 2 out of 3, no?" she said, trying to help me feel better.

"I suppose..."

"Do you like any boys? I can get my moogles and cactuars on it if you like.

"Well... I like Trent. A lot. But I don't think he's ever..."

"Liked you back? Remember with Luzzu and Gatta? Gatta was hitting on you. If looks could kill... The look Trent was giving him!" She said. He likes... me? No way. "Anyways, I think I'll hit the sack." She yawned, walking inside.

**Elsewhere...**

Lulu walked in. "Trent, can I ask you something?" She asked.

"Yeah, 'course, Lulu." He shrugged.

"Do you like Kelle?" She asked slyly. He shook his head.

"I'm already involved with someone." he said. "Why?"

"I think you two look cute together is all." Lulu lied.

"Hmph. Well now you know. If you don't mind, I'm about to change." he said grumpily.

**Back to Kelle**

I finally turned in. I woke up to a nice, calm atmosphere. I saw Tidus ABOUT to leave, when –

"Byntuh sa." said Rin. Tidus gave a clueless look. "Ah, I meant to say 'pardon me' but it came out in Al Bhed. I am Rin, owner of this establishment. Hela du saad oui. If you are interested in learning our language..." He walked to the bookshelf, as I went to stand next to Tidus. "Al Bhed Primers can be found throughout Spira. But, be careful where you speak our language."

"Oh, yeah I hear Al Bhed aren't liked very much... sorry!" He said, correcting himself.

"_Forgive him. We aren't Yevonites, shh!_" I said. He nodded, looking mildly intrigued by this little tidbit of information.

"AAAHHH! SOMEBODY HELP! THE CHOCOBOS!" Came a scream from the chocobo attendant. Rin gave us some Mega-Potions, which I was grateful for. I stocked up, too. We ran outside (Not Rin), and the Eater was nowhere to be found. I looked on the Agency roof. There it was. It had a chocobo in one hand. I cut the eater's hand off, freeing the chocobo. It healed my cut in gratitude.

"Thank you." I said to it. Tidus slashed the eater. Yuna called Ifrit. It scorched the eater. All that was left were the charred remains.

"Oh, thank you so much for saving the chocobos!" the attendant said gratefully. I smiled softly.

"As a token of our gratitude, the first time you rent a chocobo will be free of charge. Just ask the attendant." Rin said, a smile gracing his features. So we all got chocobos, the eight of us. For free, hahahahaha. Auron's kept bucking him, it was soooo funny (I supposed it made sense due to the fact that he was unsent). I ran off for a few minutes to collect Auron's Mars Crest from the Oldroad, then I went back to the others. We ran into Clasko at the North Exit, who told us "No chocobos beyond this point!" Bah.

"Hey, show us how to blitz sometime!" Gatta called from near the wagon with the Crusader guards.

"Wait around. We'll have Sin beaten in no time." Sure you will, Luzzu. Sure you will. Then they went through to Mushroom Rock Road. Tch. I talked to the guy taking donations, and gave him 10,000 Gil of my savings, receiving a Moon Ring for Yuna and a grateful smile from the guy in return.

Then the blue haired -censored- arrived. With his cronies, of course. Was he ever seen without them before we killed him in the game? No. I just leaned against the old columns boredly and listened in.

"So, we meet again, Lady Yuna." _he_ said brightly.

"Your Grace!" she said, bowing. What was graceful about him, I wondered.

"Please, there's no need for formalities." Pause. "You look troubled. Is there anything I can do?" he asked. This was the ONE thing he was good for. Getting to the good places.

"W-well..." she cast a glance in the direction of the Mushroom Rock Road entrance.

"I see." the creep went off to the guard, glancing at me along the way. My face was hidden from his view by my bangs hanging in my face. He talked with the guard, pulling some strings, and got us clearance to be in the operation. So we all went over to the guard.

He let us through. I suppose _Seymour_ is useful for one thing, after all.

**End of Chapter 4.**

**A/N: Hope you likee!**


	5. Mushroom Rock Road: Operation's Fallen

**Disclaimer****: I do NOT own FFX or anything else other than my beloved OCs. Just to clear that up.**

**Authoress: Hi, this is chapter five of the rewrite. I promise I will try to make this fic as good as it can be, and I would like to thank Skylark Tsuki for the constructive criticism, it's very much appreciated. If any of my characters start getting too Mary-Sue (or Gary-Stu)-ish, please let me know. I hate Mary-Sues with a passion. I'll read your fic as well and review it, because you were nice enough to take the time to do so for me. Ah, the Sphere Grid thing. Normally I play with Clear Spheres when I can get them so I kinda got carried away, and I am sorry for that. The other thing is that I am a fan of Kingdom Hearts. I kinda hate it at the same time for making Kairi the damsel in distress. Why did they bother giving her a Keyblade if she's just gonna sit on an island and wait to get kidnapped – um, I mean, wait for Sora to come back AGAIN. The main reason Kelle gets all blubbery is cause... well, you'll see later in the fic, but let's just say she really cares for them, no matter how bitchy she gets, what with the emotional ties and all. No, this is a Tiduna fic, with two OCxOC pairings. The other guys won't really start liking her THAT way, don't worry. Gatta just gets a crush on her but she has a sort of best friends thing going on with everyone else, any flirting is just kidding around. Except Auron, and you'll see why later. The line thing? I was eleven and really lazy when I started writing this, this project has kind of become a long term thing for me. But I am gonna try and fix that, I promise. I read through it and it seemed kinda... meh when I thought about it and... yeah, I don't like the line thing either. Oh, the Kilika thing. She's just played through the game THAT many times she sort of desensitised to that. But she'll get better in the end, I hope. Sort of like how Tidus is all whiny at first but seems to grow up some. And now I have made a big scary wall of text. I hope your eyes didn't break looking at this. Once again, thanks for the constructive criticism.**

**Socks: Ha ha, you're making a Mary-Sue!**

**Authoress: ...wut? What did you just say to me?**

**Socks: Um, meow? Enjoy the rewrite! -runs away from bazooka-**

**Chapter 5: The Mushroom Rock Road**

Seymour was unleashing his motivational speech rubbish on the Crusaders. Then again, it must have been nice for them to have some support after being excommunicated and all. I wouldn't know, being an atheist and all. But I am one of the few people (The only others being Auron and Tidus) who saw the bullshit for what it really was, I've seen this scene a million times anyway.

"Ugh. Do we HAVE to sit and listen to this crap?" I muttered under my breath. I heard Yuna gasp. "Hey, we know it won't work. I think he's involved to just make himself look good." I commented, not caring about what Wakka thought.

"Let's go already. He's done with the speech now." Tidus said, dragging me off before I could offend the devout Yevonites in our party any more.

"Lady Yuna's guardians? U-um, Lady Yuna," (She'd just caught up with us) Clasko stuttered. "Maester Seymour requests your presence at the command centre. It's right this way." he said, pointing us in the right direction.

"Thanks." I said, before spotting our favourite merchant, who looked rather proud of himself. "Hey, O'aka."

"Snuck right past the guards, I did!" I don't really blame him for being proud. Yevonites are really touchy here because of the maesters being there. So I can actually blame Seymour and Kinoc for making our lives difficult right now. If they weren't here, O'aka would not have HAD to sneak past anyone. "So, whaddaya need? You want it, I've got it." I grinned, buying up about 20 Potions and getting lots of Antidotes, Echo Screens, Eye Drops and Softs. "Thank ye!" he grinned, happy for the income.

"You're welcome. See you later, O'aka the Twenty-third!" I said before walking back. I grinned inanely at the rest of the group. "Come on, then! Onward and ever downward!" Cue groans from everyone else. I walked over to the Crusader by the Yevon symbol on the floor.

"The emblem of Yevon bears mystic powers. Step onto it and see." she said, sounding more than a little bored. We did so and I made a mental note to wash my shoes with the strongest stuff I could find at the first opportunity. I really hate Yevon. I mean, the religion itself is corrupt as shit, and Yu Yevon himself is killing millions of people for the continued existence of a DREAM world that does not exist. Not. Worth. It. EVER. Tidus, Trent and I were playing 'Who can kill the most fiends'. Trent won, but only just, before Auron decided to rain on our parade.

"Stop fooling around and focus." Trent and Tidus recoiled from Auron's terrifying glare. Maybe because he's dead and that makes it all the more scary. Then again, Trent doesn't know that. I'm the only one in our little trio who's actually into RPGs, anime and manga. Okay, Shell likes one manga series (D. Gray-man, we both love Allen), but that's it. Other than that, they both think my obsession is dumb. Ha. Yeah, right.

"Is it that time of month already?" I muttered under my breath. Trent caught that, and got the wrong idea. And we all know that guys run a mile when it comes to _girl stuff_.

"You-you shouldn't talk about that where we can hear you!" His face was bright red.

"I was referring to Auron." I deadpanned.

"Ohhh... Yeah, I see your point." he smiled, resisting the urge to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Tidus asked.

"We're just talking about Auron's male PMSing." I said, laughing at Tidus' expression before a fiend came out, one of those Roc-type fiends. A Garuda, am I right? **(A/N: I checked the wiki. It IS called Garuda. I hate getting names wrong.) **But before we could kill it, Lulu took it out with a Blizzard spell. Party pooper. In the end, we were just hacking, slashing and magicking our way through the fiends until we ran into Shelinda, who was very stupidly unarmed. I mean, in a place like this you need to defend yourself. You can't heal your enemies to death, can you? (Unless they're zombies, that is, but there are no zombies around here.)

"As you can see, I wasn't able to stop them. But seeing their fierce determination, I couldn't just stand there. So, I decided I would do everything in my power to help them. I know nothing in the ways of fighting – " Kind of dumb seeing as how you are all alone with only the knowledge of support magic and NO WEAPON. " – but I do know some White Magic." Though, uh... White Magic does take skill. Just like using Black Magic to conjure flames or water or lightning, etc. is hard when you first learn to do it. I've had a while to learn and have gotten used to using the four basic elements. She's lucky I happen to have a couple Ethers at hand. "Do you need healing at all?" she asked. I nodded. She performed what seemed to be pretty high-level magic, and she definitely hadn't enough experience to cast it easily. When the light faded, I facepalmed and handed her one of my few Ethers.

"Shelinda, some advice. Like I learned with elemental magic, you need to start small and build up endurance before you use the big stuff or you'll end up keeling over." I told her as she recovered from using aforementioned complex magic. "Trust me, I learned the hard way!" I smiled, slightly embarrassed. "Save your mana, most cases a simple cure spell should do it. Right, Yuna?" I turned to our resident summoner, who nodded.

"She's right. Try saving the stronger stuff for people who are seriously injured, you could wear yourself out." Shelinda smiled at us.

"Thank you for the advice." You know, I take back any and all bitchy things I've said about her; she's not so bad. If she weren't so obsessed with Yevon and stuff and blindly believing everything the temples say, I could actually be friends with her. But I can't actually _say_ that because I currently have no proof that Yevon is a sham and I'd probably be executed for heresy or something along those lines if I started talking like that out of the blue. Or they'd accuse me of being Al Bhed, and while I'm not Al Bhed and don't have anything against them (Especially since my feet have never been so comfortable before and I've been walking for hours. I swear, whoever invented these shoes better have gotten a medal for their efforts. They totally deserve one.), it would hold us up and give Yuna a bad name, which she really doesn't need right now, I mean, there's no avoiding what will happen later, but I have no intention of making things any worse for her.

"You're welcome." Yuna and I chimed, smiling. (Why am I in such a good mood lately?) "Anyway, we better get going or we'll be stuck out here when it gets dark, and I hear tell that the fiends only get worse at night time." I added, waving as we turned to leave and kick more fiend heinie. I wasn't watching where I was going and ended up bumping into something yellow and fluffy.

"Oh, sorry... Ah, Lady Yuna and her party..." Ohhh. It's Lucil. Lucil kicks ass. And she has a chocobo, so... yeah. "They let you through? Please report to the command centre, Maester Seymour is expecting you." I heard Tidus' fist crack, to be honest I was too distracted petting the chocobo, but I let out an unappreciative grunt at the mention of mine and Tidus' most hated person in the universe anyway. Lucil carried on, not seeming to mind my petting the chocobo so long as I didn't spook it. Like I would, I love chocobos. They're like awesome with feathers attached. Neither did she seem to notice mine and Tidus' obvious distaste for the aforementioned blue haired lunatic-slash-madman-slash-pansy. "The presence of a summoner and a maester is a great boost for the troops morale, myself included. Thank you for being here my Lady, and please be careful on this road."

"Uh, don't you mean two maesters? I heard Wen Kinoc is here, too." I said, slightly confused. She quirked an eyebrow.

"Where did you hear that?"

"I have a very bad habit of eavesdropping, Captain Lucil. It's saved my butt more times than I can count." I grinned. "Like that time at school when Trent and Shell were planning on tricking me into 'testing' a dunk tank." When saying this, I made a point of glaring at Trent.

"Hey, it was Shell's idea!"

"You still went along with it." I grumbled stubbornly. I don't forgive and forget easily. I generally go for revenge instead. "But it's not like I knew their names or would even recognise them. I mean, they were wearing armour, and half the people here wear the same stuff, so it's kinda difficult." I laughed.

"I... see. Anyway, I'd best be off on patrol. Farewell." And with that, no more chocobo petting. Bah.

"Hey... Kelle?" I turned to face Trent.

"What's up?"

"What do you got against this maester Seymour guy? And Yevon, for that matter?" he asked, dragging me out of earshot of everyone else. And he's supposed to be my best friend since we were in nappies (That's diapers to any American readers. Don't ask me, I don't know why they're called that either). Why can't he just trust my judgement on this?

"You remember when I recommended a certain RPG called 'Final Fantasy 10' to you but you wouldn't play it no matter how awesome I told you it was?" I asked nonchalantly, checking my fingernails.

"What's this got to do with – " I shot him a look. "Yes, I remember. What about it?"

"That game was set in a world called Spira that was terrorised by Sin and had a race of outcasts called the Al Bhed. And this game followed the story of someone named Tidus who was from Zanarkand who became guardian to someone named Yuna." I said. "Do you see where I'm going with this, Trent?"

"So you're saying we're in the world of your video game?"

"Yes. Just think about it. If this world exists in an alternate universe to our own, maybe other video games exist in this plane of existence as well. Maybe even anime and manga in their own respective universes, provided this isn't some whacked out coma dream." I said. "Or a communal trance, seeing as either you're a figment of my imagination or we're having the same coma dream by chance." I said calmly. "We really don't have any way of knowing until Bevelle." **(A/N: I love Doctor Who. LOVE EEET.)**

"Bevelle being the biggest city in Spira, right?" I quirked an eyebrow. "I saw a map in that café I worked in back in Luca." I nodded. "So are you gonna tell me what's so bad about Yevon or not?" I grinned and said only one word.

"Spoilers." He sighed and rolled his eyes as I took off to catch up with the others before following me.

"Where did you two run off to?" Lulu asked, tapping her foot impatiently. I laughed nervously as a fireball materialized in my teacher's palm.

"Just some stuff about home." I said. "Seriously, Lulu, we're not up to no good nor are we planning anything, I swear on all I hold dear." Trent looked sceptical to say the least. "Hey, I really mean it. There are in fact things I treasure, not that I'm about to say what they are." I said icily, shooting him a dirty look, which he returned in kind.

"Lots of things you're not telling me lately, huh." Notice that this was a statement, not a question.

"That's because you'd have to see to know what I mean, you douche!" I yelled, before realising we were having a full scale argument in front of everyone. "Oh, sorry guys. We argue like this a lot." Wow. I actually feel bad about it. _That's_ a first. Trent poked me.

"Did you just... apologise?" I nodded, confused. "...THE END IS NIGH! THE END IS NIIIIIIGH!" he screamed, cowering behind Lulu (We all know she's the most kick ass person in this group, with her awesome magic pwnage.) Are apologies that rare from me? Yes. Yes, they are, now that I think about it. Tidus gave him a funny look, but started competing with my again over who could kill the most fiends, before we fell back and let the others have fun knocking the fiends around.

"You don't like him either." Tidus said. "Seymour, I mean." he added at my quizzical look.

"Yes, what of it?" I asked. "You don't have a problem with not being the only person who despises the blue haired maniac, do you?"

"No, I was just wondering why."

"He's plotting something bad. He just gives off that vibe, you know? The sort of vibe that only gets noticed by people who try seeing past status." I said quietly.

"So I'm not alone in thinking he's up to no good?" Wow, he actually hit the nail on the head. Trent must be rubbing up on him.

"Who are you talking about, you two?" Yuna interrupted. Tidus and I nearly jumped right out of our skins.

"Yeesh, give me a heart attack, will you?" I complained. She gave me an apologetic look, but still wanted to know. "Nobody you know. Not that well, at least." I said, though she still seemed irked. "Don't take this the wrong way, but curiosity killed the cat. If you need to know, I'll make sure you know, okay? I don't want to give you any more burdens than the ones you already carry, Yuna. You've got enough on your plate to deal with; we're lucky you're such a tough cookie, Yuna." She smiled at that last part, but seemed slightly unhappy I wasn't telling her everything. Thankfully, Lulu stepped in, agreeing with me on the fact that Yuna has enough to deal with.

"What was that about?" Tidus asked in a whisper.

"Wouldn't you be stressed if you had a creep like _him_ potentially lusting over you?"

"Good point." he agreed. "What do you think he's up to?"

"I dunno," I lied again. I seem to be doing that a lot today. "But I'll bet you it involves Yuna. We better keep an eye out for any trouble and if he tries anything unwelcome, I will see to it he never has children." I whispered.

"Count me in." We both grinned wickedly. This did not go unnoticed by Trent, who was muttering about Tidus going over to the dark side. Can you really blame him for joining me? We have COOKIES here on the dark side.

"Though we'll torture him for a few days, first." I added. Our grins widened to terrifying proportions.

"You have much potential, my young friend." Tidus did that wonderful Yo Mika impression of his (Yes, that really is Mika's first name. Check the wikia if you don't believe me).

"I don't like the old guy either. He's creepy." I said, hinting HELLO! DEAD PERSON! But then again my subtlety is lost on guys, and the only person who could hear me was in fact a guy. A blonde one at that.

"Yeah, him too. Let's try and keep Yuna away from that guy as well." He nodded in agreement.

"Seems to me creepy is a requirement for these people." I muttered.

"Who are you talking about this time?" Yuna asked, obviously curious about our conversation.

"It's a secret." I said, doing a motion of zipping up my mouth.

"Are you insulting Yevon again?"

"Um, define insulting." She obviously noticed what this mean. "Yuna? You okay?"

"Why do you hate Yevon so much?" she asked, looking a little upset.

"I... Let's just say I have a valid reason and you'll find out for yourself eventually." I said. "Look, you wouldn't believe me anyway if I did tell you. I'd probably be executed for heresy and you'd be down a guardian. Yuna, please will you trust me when I say you'll understand better when you see my reasons with your own eyes?" She sighed. I felt guilty not telling her, but I didn't want to screw up the pilgrimage by blabbing and/or getting executed.

"All right. I will trust you on this." she said, sounding disappointed. "But... I will find out somewhere on my journey?" she asked.

"I promise you, Yuna. You _will_ know before we reach Zanarkand." I assured her. She still seemed sceptical, but accepted it.

"Um... alright." She seemed to think I was a little unstable now. The _irony _of it. The one time I try to help and people think I'm insane. I tell you, sometimes I wonder if it's worth it at all. Needless to say, it was pretty quiet the rest of the way there, though I made a mental note to get super strength cleaning stuff for my beloved comfy shoes.

"But, I wanna fight too, sir!" I heard Gatta yell. I decided to go off and hunt for items and fiend butt to kick, having seen this too many times to count. When I came back, Luzzu was massaging his cheek and Wakka was telling him not to die.

"So you can hit me more?" Luzzu asked, sounding a little amused.

"Lots, lots more!" Wakka said, brandishing his fist but smiling. After they left, we walked over to the lift, where Wakka was giving it a nasty look. What did that machina ever do to him, exactly?

"Quit being such a fucking drama queen. This makes our job easier." I muttered as I walked past him onto the lift, silently admiring the work that had gone into building it, even if it was a little dirty as a result of being exposed to the elements. I didn't fail to notice the filthy glare he gave me on the way up, though when he spotted the machina cannons at the top, he took it out on them.

"Curse these!" he spat angrily, kicking it. "OW!" That's what you get for attempting to trash a perfectly good cannon, Wakka. It never harmed you, did it?

"He... really hates them, huh?" Tidus commented as he watch Wakka flip out on the poor machina.

"Chappu... He left the sword Wakka gave him in Besaid." she said. "...And he fought with an Al Bhed machina weapon instead." she finished quietly, though Wakka heard her.

"That's got nothing to do with it!" he snapped. "I just hate these sacrilegious contraptions!" I rolled my eyes and walked on ahead. I swear, Yevon must be some kind of long-distance zombie who eats Wakka's brains from afar or something.

"Whatever..." I muttered, not wanting a Wakka-rant.

"Hey, wait up!" I heard him call after me as I walked the rest of the way to the command centre on my own. It's not like there were any fiends loose yet. I spotted O'aka outside the centre, so I went to stock up and buy an Avenger for Tidus.

"How _do_ you do that?" I asked, amazed. I never saw him pass us. He simply grinned, not telling me his secret (Well he wouldn't divulge the secrets of his trade, would he?).

"Monopoly's a great game! Things are sellin' no matter what the price! Oh, right, you wanna buy something?" I happily bought up aforementioned items and equipment and waited for everyone else to catch up. I noticed a certain Crusader sulking.

"Hey, Gatta."

"The operation will begin shortly. Please check all your equipment." he droned monotonously.

"Um, are you alright?" I asked, scared of zombie!Gatta.

"Of course not!" he snapped. "I came to fight Sin! And they stick me here!" Ugh. Men. And then, OF COURSE, Auron just HAD to come out of nowhere like that and make me jump ten feet in the air while lecturing Gatta about Godknowswhat-if-there-is-a-God.

"Auron! You almost gave me a heart attack! WHAT THE FU – " Suddenly a familiar hand clamped over my mouth. Trent always does this when I use my potty mouth in public where everyone can hear me. However, I was in such a bad mood I sank my teeth into his hand without mercy. He yelped, yanking his hand away.

"She bit me!" he yelled furiously, before letting out several choice curse words of his own that I probably shouldn't repeat. I shot him one hell of a glare.

"Kelle, calm down, will you?" Tidus said, glaring at Auron while trying to calm me down from the fright of having a dead guy creep up on you.

...Not that he knew that yet.

"My hero~!" I said, pretending to be some kind of damsel in distress. That got a few laughs from the others as we walked inside. And then we got ambushed by Kinoc. Yay, time to watch Auron get hugged! I mean, this is AURON we're talking about. He's about as huggable as... well, Sin. Kinoc must be secretly in love with him or something if he's THAT determined. His life, I say. After some nagging on Kinoc's part, the (rather one-sided) conversation was ended by aforementioned Fat Ass Maester being dragged off by Creepy Blue Haired Pansy-Maester. I'm surprised he was ever a warrior monk. I mean, he has REALLY let himself go.

"That Kinoc, a maester?" Auron sounded pretty amused, and this is one of the rare things we agreed on. How DID Kinoc ever get to the top? Speak of the devil.

"I heard that, Auron." Was Kinoc this much of an uke in the game? I forget. But the idea of _these _two guys together is enough to make anyone barf. "A lot has happened these last ten years. What were you doing, and where?" My God, he's such a housewife. And so _clingy_.

"Fulfilling a promise to an old friend, and I still am." Auron said coolly. It's pretty obvious he wanted Kinoc to go away now.

"Tell me one thing: Have you seen Zanarkand?" Is it me or he making sound like Zanarkand is some kind of tourist attraction? Yes, he is. So I decided to step in and add my own two cents.

"Is that really any of your business, _my Lord_? You ask as if it's a tourist attraction of some sort. Don't you have any respect for the dead?" I asked coldly. He drew himself up to his full height (Not much), glared at me and left, muttering about disrespectful brats. "Temper, temper. I think I pissed him off." I said mockingly once he was out of earshot. This seemed to amuse Trent, Auron and Tidus, but... Yuna and Wakka looked scandalised at my blatant disrespect of Yevon, maesters, etc. Lulu, on the other hand had a slight smile on her face.

"Don't disrespect da maester, ya?" Wakka snapped at me as he watched Kinoc leave all reverently and such.

"Hey, it's his fault for acting like such an uke!" I complained. Trent, the only one who understood this (Shell happens to be into yaoi and I had to explain the term to him when she brought it up once, even though yaoi isn't really my thing. I don't mind some pairings, but others I find repulsive. Simple as that, everyone has preferences and mine is canon pairings) busted out laughing.

"Y-you're right! I'm sorry, you guys but she has a _really_ good point!" he gasped out between laughter. After everyone left to get ready for the fight, I ended up having to explain this to Lulu. She laughed, too, acknowledging the fact that Kinoc was acting like a total housewife towards Auron, with the nagging and all. I walked over to the Crusader impeding our path to the battlefield.

"Are you ready?" he asked. You could tell he was nervous.

"Yeah. Um, good luck, man." I said, hoping he wouldn't be one of those who died that day.

"Likewise, Lady Guardian." he replied, saluting. I flushed, not yet used to such respect, and told him thanks before joining the others before the chaos started. "Maester Kinoc, please." And here we go. And of course the Sinspawn went crazy and got free and wrought havoc. So in we charged.

"Prepare to die, ugly!" I yelled at it. And about that. If you thought it was bad in the game, multiply that by fifty and you might very well be close. It wouldn't be out of place in your nightmares. Well, not mine, I don't tend to dream much. Or if I do I never remember them. Lulu, Wakka and I took out the head to keep it from spewing any more poison on us (It managed to once or twice but we took care of that with Antidotes and Yuna's Esuna spell.) while Auron and Tidus took out the arms. After that, Yuna Grand Summoned Ifrit and Hellfired its ugly ass, considerably weakening it. Ifrit managed to get a few more attacks in before the arms regenerated and Yuna dismissed him so we could re-nuke those damn arms.

"Good work, Yuna! It shouldn't take much longer now!" Trent yelled. The Gui was on its last legs now, and, as he said it didn't take many attacks after we killed the arms a second time to kill the main body. We acquired some pretty useful loot from it, but then we were separated and I ended up joining up with Luzzu and feeling sick about what was to come. It happened so fast. All I recall is an explosion, the screams and blacking out.

* * *

"Ugh... ow, my head..." I whined, dragging myself to my feet and staggering forward a few steps before seeing what happened to Luzzu. He really was ripped in half, though some of the dead were even more badly torn apart. I threw up, my sick mixing with the blood on the sand and my clothes. I winced in pain as my body protested against moving, but I managed to drag myself over the wreckage and bodies to find the others. I did, eventually.

"Kelle! There you are, I've been worried sick!" Oh. Trent. I was suddenly aware of being hugged.

"Found you." I said weakly, patting his back.

"Where were you?"

"I... Luzzu. Luzzu's dead." I said quietly. "Torn in half." I noticed his horrified face.

"And you knew?" I nodded miserably. He sighed, leading me to where the others were. Yuna healed me up, so my body was a little easier to move, though I still felt queasy due to being covered in blood. I'm lucky my beloved shoes wash off, so I shouldn't need to replace them. Thank whatever higher power there is for small, minuscule mercies.

"Is everyone else okay?" I asked, still feeling very, very... weird. Sort of dizzy.

"Yes, we're all fine." Yuna said, having heard from Trent about Luzzu. Good. I don't wanna repeat it.

"Yuna, I-I'm gonna take a walk. I won't go far, I just need some air." I said quietly, standing up. I wandered off, occupying my mind with hunting down some items. It's not like Hi-Potions come cheap y'know. I suddenly noticed a chest that definitely hadn't been there in the game. Curious, I wandered over to it and hoped it wasn't some prank. In the chest I found a small bag and a piece of paper.

_Kelle, we've seen other things in your mind from other "worlds" as you put it. We hope you can put these pins to good use as you've seen somewhere else. Use your imagination, they'll work on fiends. - The Fayth._

As soon as I was done reading it, the letter dispersed into pyreflies, so I focused my attention on the contents of the bag. I tipped the contents into my hand. Out fell nineteen pins (_The World Ends With You_; best game on the DS so far, in my humble opinion). I knew that generally you were limited to a deck of six, so I picked out the following:

**Dope Line** (Psych: Massive Hit, close range attack normally only works once per charge but +1 extra use with Turbo Gauge pin (SEE** HER ROYAL HIGHNESS**). Takes 8 seconds to reboot.)

**Creepy Weepy Barrier** (Psych: Dark Barrier: Wards off enemy attacks, gradually heals user, harms enemies on contact and you can move while using it. Lasts for 6 seconds total per battle without Turbo Gauge, 7.8 seconds with Turbo Gauge equipped. ONLY REBOOTS AT THE END OF BATTLES.)

**Visionary Blend** (Psych: Subconscious: Heals user when health is critical once per battle to full strength + one extra use because of Turbo Gauge, meaning this will heal twice if necessary. Take 90 seconds to reboot.)

**Kaleidoscope** (Psych: Burst Round, shoots a bullet that fragments on enemy collision, and the frags also do damage to any enemies they hit, gives 3 uses without Turbo Gauge, +1 with Turbo Gauge. Takes 4 seconds to reboot)

**Excalibur** (Psych: Lightning Bolt, shoots bolts of lightning, useful if out of mana. 6 uses without Turbo Gauge, 8 uses with Turbo Gauge. Takes 3 seconds to reboot)

**Her Royal Highness** (Psych: Turbo Gauge +, Increases uses and time limits on pins by 30%, rounded up on uses. Also, pin classes have no meaning in this fic. Just to clear that up, because I KNOW you can't normally put this in the same deck as Visionary Blend. Passive ability.)

I pocketed my deck and placed the bag holding the rest of the pins in my backpack (Which has survived despite the odds. I suspect the fayth had something to do with it). The others might find them useful. The Subconscious and Barrier pins in particular were important for me, as I don't know any actual healing magic, so they'll be good for emergencies if I don't have any items at hand. I was still pretty wiped out, so I walked over the the glowing blue sphere whachimacallit. Lulu said it was called a Life Sphere, made out of so many Healing Waters that you'd never have to worry about it running out of juice. Not to mention that the machina thing that's attached to it can teleport you to Luca for blitzball.

"Kelle, are you alright? You and Tidus were near Sin again. The toxin, are you okay?" Lulu asked, looking concerned. I attempted a smile and nodded, before going over to Tidus, who was watching Seymour (ICK) and Yuna with one hell of a look on his face.

"Eww. How can she stand that guy?" I asked, making Tidus jump in the process (Which also made ME grin).

"Yeah... That cold leer... Like he's trying to smile, but it went the wrong way." Tidus grumbled. I giggled.

"Jealousy much?" Tidus turned bright red, though I continued before he could protest. "Not that there's anything to be jealous of. I have a feeling that she prefers you." I said, watching with amusement as Tidus' face darkened a few more notches. Though it was quickly forgotten as we left, the atmosphere affecting all of us (How could it not?). The mood during our walk to the temple was kinda gloomy, seeing the occasionally Crusader on the way.

* * *

**A/N****: Ah, I'm surprised I got this done so quick! Over 5000 words in two sittings, and that's not even counting the Author's Notes! My hands, they ache. REVIEW. I JUST TYPED MY FINGERS TO THE BONE ON THIS.**


	6. Djose Temple and Moonflow part 1

**Disclaimer****: Why must I write this again? I own NOTHING. NOTHING EXCEPT MY OC PWNAGE. **

**Socks: hehehehehe.**

**Authoress: -glares- Anyway, enjoy chapter 6 of the rewrite, hope you like it enough to review.**

**Chapter Six: Djose Temple**

I really, truly tried to look on the bright side. I mean, that whole exploding temple thing was awesome. It really was. I shudder to think about how Rikku would have reacted to this, with her astraphobia (fear of thunderstorms) and all...

"WHOA?" I damn near jumped out of my skin before turning to glare at Tidus and Trent. And I am caked in blood and gore, so I look pretty scary right now.

"What's that mean?" Trent asked, referring to the lightning-suspended rocks around the temple.

"Someone else is here." I said. I sighed at the clueless look. "Another summoner beat us to it, dummy!"

"How did you know that?" Lulu asked. Um, because I've played this game a million times in the past and know this world like the back of my teeth?

"Doesn't take much to figure it out." I shrugged. "Then again, most guys are dense, like blondie here."

"And Trent?" Lulu looked dangerously close to smiling now. I kept quiet, not wanting to say a word against him. I hate to admit it, but I've had a crush on him for a while now, before we even came to Spira and everything went topsy turvy.

"A-anyway, we've got the best summoner there is, so whoever this bozo is, Yuna will always be better!" I said, grinning.

"Right!" Tidus agreed with me. Yuna smiled gratefully at our support as we approached the temple. And then we spotted Gatta. He seemed to be taking Luzzu's death pretty hard.

"He was ripped in half!"

"No shit, Sherlock, I was there." I muttered under my breath. Trent elbowed me in the ribs with one hell of a look on his face. Okay, he was in the right. If I lost Trent like that, I'd be crying like a weenie too, as repellent as the thought is. We continued on before I could start acting all emo and remember that I wanted a shower and a change of clothes. I was also itching to try out my new deck, though I didn't voice this as we entered the temple, seeing Isaaru walk down the stairs from the Trials. He spotted Yuna.

"Ah, another summoner, I presume. I am Isaaru." And then he did the dumb Yevon bow. I know I should be all respectful toward a guy ready to toss his life away, but that bow is just... stupid. Yuna smiled at him.

"Yes. I am Yuna, from Besaid." she replied.

"Lord Braska's daughter? You have the look of your father." he commented. This made Kimahri get defensive for some reason.

"Relax, Kimahri! If he meant us harm, wouldn't he have attacked us by now?" I smiled at the Ronso, touching his forearm. "Doesn't seem like a bad guy to me." _Yet_. Isaaru gave me a grateful look, before continuing his conversation with Yuna. Trent gave me a "look". I rolled my eyes and mouthed "I'll tell you later!" to him, to which he nodded and mouthed back: "You better." I grinned at him, before letting everyone know I was off the little inn-building, where I could buy some new clothes to put on after I had showered – most of the people staying here at present were too injured to use it, so the shower was free now.

"Oh, miss? We also sell custom shower goods if you want them. You just specify the scent and qualities you want from what's available and we make them for you. We've had a slight decline of late, as can be expected with the circumstances." A slightly saddened look passed the shopkeeper's face, but faded quickly. Of course, she would have to put on a brave face, poor woman must have it hard.

"Um, sure. What do you have?" I asked her, which prompted her to lead me to a cabinet full of essential oils (for scent) and other ingredients to clean and moisturise your hair and such and stuff for different hair types. First off I picked out the stuff to make my hair nice, which was easy enough, though it took me a while to decide on scents I wanted. Vanilla was a sure thing, because I love sweet smells. I added a slight scent of coffee and a sort of floral smell that held a hint of sweetness to it as well. The end result smelt sweet, but not sickly-sweet, with that slight edge to it thanks to the coffee and a hint of the mystery flower-scent.

"Okay, just a moment to prepare it..." the shop girl smiled at me, and a few moments later came out with a bottle labelled "Shower Gel", and a small box labelled "Shampoo/Conditioner Bar" (I shopped at LUSH back home, it is a real shop that sells the most divine soaps and the like, including solid shampoos and conditioners.) and handed them over in exchange for a relatively small amount of Gil. She also handed me a piece of paper with my selection on it so I wouldn't have to remember it off by heart, telling me they offered this service at all inns (It was a new service, but a good one for sure) and I just had to hand over the paper rather than gather the ingredients myself, which is a big time-saver. I made a mental note to tell Trent, who is seriously picky over his hair and has been whining for decent shampoo ever since we met up with him. This stuff lasts ages (both between uses and how many uses you get from it), too, so it's ideal for travellers like us.

"Ah and could you show me where to find some clothes? I can't really wear these anymore..." I smiled, wanting out of my gore-caked ensemble. She nodded sympathetically, pointing me in the right direction. I silently thanked whatever higher power there was that my bandanna was in my bag during the operation, so it was okay and didn't need replacing. I picked out an sleeveless black and silver zip-up top of a fairly similar design to my old vest, and picking out a smaller, looser black vest to wear underneath for hot weather, smaller in the sense that it showed my stomach but wasn't obscenely short. I then picked out some distressed black leather pants that zipped off into shorts (Once again for hot weather) with a large pouch that strapped to the leg for item use and some extra belts that came with some smaller pouches (My first belt had been kept in my pack along with the bandanna), then grabbing a black and pink sleeveless hoodie (Which had hidden inside pockets for stashes) with some black arm-warmers that went just above my elbows. I bought a spare pair of rubber-soled shoes (In case of emergency), though kept my Al Bhed boots, deciding to wear them under the pants. As I turned to leave, I spotted this adorable little hat with dinky little antennae on top which I just fell in love with, so I decided to get it. After I showered, cleaned my boots and made sure my item pouch was filled and my extra pouches had some provisions in them, I joined up with the others.

"Took you long enough." Trent grumbled, obviously irked by how long I'd taken getting myself clean.

"Oh, shut it. They've got special custom hair products on offer if you want to go get some. I'll wait." I said calmly, smirking when his face lit up, his expression suspiciously close to that of a child in a giant candy shop. Who knows. He loves his hair that much I wouldn't be surprised if he tried eating conditioner to try making his hair even better. He's THAT obsessed. I spent the next few minutes pondering this while Trent went and bought his beloved hair products.

"Kelle? We'll be entering the Trials soon. We in Spira is Trent?" Lulu asked, looking exasperated.

"He's getting his much-wanted hair products. Figured it'd be cruel to deprive him since I got some for myself." I said. "Um, what do you think?" I asked in reference to my new look. She nodded her approval. She and the others went on ahead with Yuna while I waited for the hair freak to get back from his little shopping spree. Ah! Finally. He was carrying A LOT of hair stuff. That poor shop girl didn't stand a chance.

"Took you long enough." I said, grinning as I used his own words against him. He rolled his eyes, before we set off into the Trials. The dopey folk hadn't used the Destruction Sphere to get the free goodies necessary for Anima, so I went and did it for them, the lazy BLEEP. There was some extra stuff aside from the alotted armor that was meant to be there. Some new zai, a concealable dagger (If you've played FFXII, it's the same shape as the Platinum Dagger), knives that could be hidden in my gloves when not in use as slashing weapons (Think Larxene from KH), both hira- and bo-shuriken that could be made smaller and clipped on my belt disguised as harmless accessories. All in a neat little kit. It was too good an offer to pass up on. All the new weapons seemed to be made out of some sort of black crystal. I equipped them all, hiding the ones that were meant to be hidden for emergency use. The auto-abilities they had were: Break Damage Limit, One MP Cost, Magic Booster and Deathstrike. And there was a new sword for Trent (His current one was pretty battered and neglected), made from the same stuff in white which he also decided to equip before we finally reached the antechamber. His auto-abilities were: Break Damage Limit, Evade and Counter, Magic Counter, and Zombiestrike. That last one could be useful as a combo with my healing psyches and Yuna's magic. I sighed, looking around at everyone.

"So how long is it gonna be?" Trent muttered, obviously eager for some alone time with his hair junk. I kicked him.

"Enough about your love affair with your hair, it's weird." I complained, ruffling his hair to get on his nerves. He playfully slapped my hands away, before ruffling _my_ hair under my hat and bandanna. "Oh, wait a sec. You remember that one game I _did_ manage to talk you into playing?"

"Oh, The World Ends With You? Sure do. Much as I hate to admit it, you do have taste when it comes to games." Trent muttered the last part grudgingly.

"I love you, too, dear." I smirked, making a "Joshua" face, which made him laugh. "But seriously, here." I said, pulling out the bag of pins while putting my deck on my hat to wear. "There was a note saying they'd work on fiends." I said. He looked a little shell-shocked before grinning.

"Think there's a Player Pin in here?"

"Nah, I already checked. It would have been great to have one, though..." I sighed wistfully, before pulling out the Peace Full pin and giving it to Lulu, explaining how it worked at the same time. She seemed a little sceptical at first, but didn't have any problem using it when testing it out. It's a cure drink pin that restores half your max health five times per battle, rebooting in between. It would be a good way of conserving items and healing magic. Trent had happily picked out a deck he could use. His deck is the following:

**Woolly** (Psych: Earthquake: 1 use per charge, takes 6 seconds to reboot)

**Lazy Bomber** (Psych: Time Bomb: Places mines where the user chooses which explode after a few seconds. 9 uses per charge, takes 4 seconds to reboot)

**Pteropus** (Psych: Patrol Rounds: throws a boomerang at enemies. 4 uses per charge, takes 3 seconds to reboot)

**First Gear** (Psych: Teleport: 15 uses per charge, takes three seconds to reboot. Cannot attack immediately after teleporting.)

**Drake** (Psych: Flame Pillar: Creates a pillar of blue flame that damages enemies on contact. 5 seconds of use per charge, takes 3 seconds to reboot)

**Yoshimitsu** (Psych: Shockwave: Hit your enemies with this psych, end of combo knocks them back. Close combat pin. 16 uses per charge, takes 5 seconds to reboot)

I grinned, watching Tidus get all fidgety, and then being berated by Auron and Lulu because you're supposed to be _super quiet_ in here. And then a certain skank walked in.

"Look what the cat dragged in." I smirked at her coldly. She glared at me.

"I could say the same for you." At this, Wakka and Lulu went on fight alert, preparing to stop us if we came to blows.

"Am I missing something here?" Trent asked, stepping in between us.

"This is Dona, she's another summoner and the guy is her guardian, Barthello. I think she's a skank and she thinks I'm a freak. It's all good." I said in my super-scary calm voice which sets off warning bells in the minds of those who know about my homicidal tendencies.

"U-um, I think you should maybe calm down." Trent said, backing up a few steps. I glared.

"Whatever." I muttered darkly, before doing the whipping thing again alongside Tidus before we both cracked up laughing. Right after we caught our breath from laughing, Yuna walked out, making us sober up. She and Dona exchanged "civil" words with each other before we left.

"Will Yuna be alright?" Trent murmured in my ear.

"She'll be fine, she's just worn out from joining with the fayth." I whispered back, explaining what happens in the Chamber of the Fayth.

When we reached the inn, we found out some of the beds had been freed up, so Yuna, Lulu and I shared a room. And it had a mirror, so I was checking out my hair.

"Hey, Yuna, Lulu. Does my hair look different? I mean, is it me or does it look lighter?" I frowned, pulling at my hair and finding one thing no woman likes to see: a _white hair_.

"W-well, um, it has lightened considerably since you joined us." Yuna said nervously, not wanting to set me off.

"I thought you dyed it." Lulu said bluntly. But I wasn't listening, a little too busy staring at the offending hair with absolute horror.

"I'm undergoing premature ageing." I said faintly. Then I stared crying. "I'm turning into an old WOMAN!" I howled. And when I say the hair I found was white, I don't mean silvery-white like Paine has in the sequel, I mean _white_, like an albino animal has. Like snow coloured. "My poor hair! _Why_?" I wailed. I don't normally lose my composure like this, but my hair is one of those things that will set me off.

"Um, it's not that bad..."

I swear, someone up there hates me.

* * *

"YAY WE'RE GOING TO THE MOONFLOW I'M SO EXCITED LET'S GO YAY!" If you haven't guessed already, I was excited and eager to get to the Moonflow. This is so for two reasons. 1. I wanna see how pretty it is for myself; and 2. Rikku joins us at the Moonflow. And Rikku is awesome, as we all know. These facts were also helping take my mind off of my not-so-little hair problem. I had hidden aforementioned problem under my hat and bandanna. I won't mind so much when it's all one colour, but... Right now I _do_ look like I'm ageing prematurely, so until my hair either returns to normal or turns completely white, the hat is staying as is. I wouldn't mind white hair. Don't the Viera say it's a blessing or something (I'm a video game freak, remember?) to have white hair? I silently thanked Yuna and Lulu for saying nothing about it where the boys could hear.

After a while, Tidus and Yuna _finally_ came out of the temple so we could finally start making our way to the Moonflow. I ran on ahead to find some fiends. And find them I did. A Garm and an Ochu, to be precise. I was happily playing around with my new toys (Um... I mean weapons?) and killing fiends when everyone else caught up.

"So violent..." Trent said, looking a little scared. Okay, more than a little. But then more fiends came along to distract him from my homicidal mania. And it worked until we eventually came across Biran and Yenke picking on Wantz, who ran off. To be honest I couldn't tell them apart.

"Look! One of Kimahri's friends. Looks just like him!" Thing #1 said mockingly. This seemed to get to Tidus.

"What?" he asked, looking rather peeved. Your funeral, buddy. Those guys are huge.

"Both follow summoners on all fours. Hornless goatlings!"

"Hornless! Hornless!" I don't see the attraction. They just laughed. Kimahri stepped forward.

"You come to insult Kimahri?" he asked.

"Wrong. We come to warn little Kimahri." Thing #1 replied to this.

"Summoners disappear. Never return." Thing #2 added.

"Next will be Kimahri's summoner."

"Poor Kimahri! Lost his horn, next lose his summoner!" Thing #2 mocked.

"Pitiful Kimahri! Howl alone! Howl alone!" Thing #1 cackled, Thing #2 joining in before they ran off.

"Do those two got something against you?" Tidus asked Kimahri, who shook his head in response. "What, they were just picking on you?" he looked kinda peeved.

"Kimahri will deal with them." Kimahri answered.

"And I'll help!" Tidus replied. Like I said: his funeral.

"Kimahri alone."

"But, ahh..." Tidus trailed off, not sure what to say.

"It's Kimahri's problem. We can't interfere; it's a rule!" Ahh, Wakka's rule fetish is back with a vengeance. I was starting to wonder.

"...I'm worried." Lulu said, and I didn't need to know the plot to know what she meant, unlike most of the guys in our group.

"Let the Ronso deal with Ronso problems, ya? That's how it's always been."

"She means about the whole summoners disappearing and not coming back, you dolt." I said, rolling my eyes and earning myself another glare from Wakka.

"They aren't just disappearing into thin air." Auron said.

"Hey, if we guardians do our job, no problem, right?" Tidus asked, trying to not be all doom and gloom.

"Whoa!" Wakka said, slightly amazed at just how naïve Tidus can be.

"Confident." Lulu smiled faintly. Tidus grinned back, looking slightly crazy.

"Yeah!"

"Oh, to be young again..." I fake-lamented. I'm actually a year younger than him at 16 and act more grown up half the time. Irony must be stalking me, I thought as we continued on. After a looooong walk and many dead fiends later we encountered Belgemine. She smiled at Yuna.

"We meet again." she said. (Yuna told me, they'd met on the Mi'ihen Highroad and had an aeon battle while I was goofing off fighting fiends) "I heard you took part in Operation Mi'ihen. You've seen that machina aren't the answer. In the end, only summoners can hope to defeat Sin."

"You are right." NOT. "I must train harder." Yuna replied.

"I can help with that, if you'd like." Belgemine said. It was a nice offer. Lord knows how bitter I'd be in Belgemine's situation. Being dead and all. I know I wouldn't be offering help. "I propose a contest of aeons. A friendly contest, of course." she smiled.

"I'm ready." Yuna replied.

"That's the spirit! But before we begin..." she cast a healing magic at Yuna to heal her aeons. Must be a summoner thing. "I have healed your aeons. Well, shall we?" I grinned at Yuna in what I hoped was an encouraging manner as we guardians backed off for the battle. I silently wondered why Yuna interacted with the aeons she was summoning, while Belgemine just stood there as she called Ixion. Yuna Grand Summoned Valefor, her first summon and her secret favourite due to the fact that it reminded her of home. I don't really blame her, either. I watched Valefor blast Ixion with its Sonic Wings before Ixion cast Haste on itself. They attacked each other for a while, before Valefor got bored and nuked it with Energy Blast. "Stop. That is enough."

"Go, Yuna!" I cheered while Valefor was doing her little victory dance-thing, happy she'd won before Yuna dismissed her.

"You're good. You bested me fairly." Belgemine smiled. "Here, your prize. Go on, take it." She handed Yuna the Summoner's Soul and explained how to use it to give aeons new abilities using items. "I look forward to meeting you again. Till next time, Yuna." And with that she left. I grinned in a manner that would make one think of the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland.

"You kicked ass just now, Yuna." I said, patting her shoulder. She smiled and thanked me before we continued on. I made sure we got all the chests and kicked fiend ass, making Tidus and Wakka bulk up for the upcoming fight with Rikku's machina. This did not go unnoticed by Trent.

"What're you beefing them up for?" he muttered in my ear.

"We got an underwater fight coming up and then we'll gain a party member named Rikku. Tidus and I already met her before we washed up on Besaid, but we were separated when Sin attacked the boat we were on." I whispered. "She's Al Bhed, but do NOT tell Wakka or it'll mess up the ending." I added as he nodded in understanding.

"Is she nice?" he asked. I nodded, smiling before testing out my Excalibur pin on a nearby Ochu and alerting the others to its presence before it could launch a sneak attack. I knew I'd been hogging the fiends, so I stayed back and chatted with Trent on the way. "So what's the Moonflow like? Must be nice with a name like that."

"It _is_ nice, but kinda hard to describe. But those big green things you'll see are shoopufs, not fiends. They're our transport across the river." I smiled, wanting to see one for myself in real life. Or coma-life. Whatever. "Hey, if we end up stuck here, you think I could get a job with the shoopufs?" I asked curiously.

"I dunno. Maybe you should see about it once the pilgrimage is over if we're still here." Trent suddenly looked upset.

"What did I say?" I asked, wondering why his mood suddenly changed.

"I just wonder about Shell is all. Is she in Spira, too?" he muttered softly. I twitched, slightly jealous, but I couldn't deny that I was worried, too.

"Hopefully we'll find her somewhere along the way." I said, trying and just barely succeeding in keeping my jealousy hidden. Ugh, why am I such a bitch when it comes to guys I like, even to the point where I'm holding a grudge against my best girlfriend for taking up his attention? I really need to sort out my priorities before I _really_ turn into a heartless bitch and terrible friend.

"Yeah... I hope so." He didn't sound so sure.

"Why do you sound unsure?" I asked, narrowing my eyes on him.

"Is it that obvious?" He sighed. "I... she's never been the fighting type, you know that. I don't... want to see her forced to fight. It doesn't suit her like it suits you." I froze, offended.

"Are you suggesting I'm unfeminine?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips.

"U-um, no... it's just she's always been... delicate next to you." Trent was choosing his words very carefully. I glared. "You're mad at me, aren't you." Note that it's a statement, not a question. He knows me _that_ well. Though it wasn't earning him any brownie points right now, it was just grating on my nerves a little more.

"No." I said coldly, stalking off to the bank. I decided to think about how gorgeous my surroundings were rather than how mad I was at a certain gorgeous best guy-friend of mine. I crouched down at the edge of the bank and watched the pyreflies for a while, waiting for the others to catch me up and resolving to not talk to Trent for a few hours at the very least. Jerk. "Oh, you finally decided to move your asses?" I called, spotting them catching up. "I'm gonna go stock up, 'kay?" I walked off, finding O'aka. (Again, I have no idea how he got ahead of us. Never saw him pass.)

"Hey! How come you and Trent aren't talking?" Tidus caught up to me. Then he caught sight of the shoopuf. "Whoa! What the hell is that?"

"That would be a shoopuf." I said, purposely ignoring his first question. "Wakka told you we'll be riding one, right?" I grinned, before wandering off to try and find the best armour I could find from the merchants around here for the upcoming battle. They're lucky that Lulu taught me to haggle. I mean, I could always lower the price on expensive items a little on the market back home, but only by a little. And the whole black magic exposure thing warns people that you can Fira them ten ways to Hell, so it can be used in a mage's favour. This thought made my grin widen to a degree that terrified most of the merchants into giving me a good deal. The only time this didn't work was with this stubborn old guy who I was told possessed a Reflect Bracer (With AUTO-Reflect, not SOS). So I stroked the zai and hira-shuriken strapped to my belts "absent-mindedly" when I greeted him, and it wiped the smug look he'd been wearing since he noticed my eyes right off his face. I tell you, behaving like a psycho-killer _can_ work in your favour. Normally I'm not like this with old folks, as I normally respect people who've lived so long – especially in a world like this one, terrorised by Sin. But this guy was crafty and had a reputation for conning people out of their hard-earned gil no matter who they were. Unless it's a maester, because no merchant is dumb enough to try. I mean, they're merchants. They need to keep their wits about them or they'll starve as a result of no income.

"Well, young lady, I do have a bargain here... Special offer, buy all three and I'll only charge you for the more expensive of the lot, dear." he said.

"Okay, let's see these special offer items." I said, crossing my arms expectantly. He gulped and hastily pulled out three pieces of armour. A band, a pair of gauntlets and a sash.

"All three items possess Auto-Protect, Shell and Ribbon. The band is one-of-a-kind, named the Tiny Golem. It has a mystery SOS ability, one that pushes your strength to the limit when you need it the most." I nodded, liking that idea. I thought that SOS ? was only available in FFX-2 on the Cat Nip accessory, and it sounded like that to me. It would come in handy, that's for sure. "The fingerless gauntlets are simply named the Tough Knuckles, and their ability is one-of-a-kind, also! In emergencies, it will nullify all elemental attacks." SOS NulAll? Nice. "And the sash possesses the rare "Master Thief" ability."

"I'll take it." I said, handing over a good deal of gil for them. Trent would make good use of the gauntlets (If I ever spoke to him again, that is), and myself the band. I simply had to hope that Shell could equip the sash if we ever found her. I equipped the Tiny Golem and shoved the Safety Band into the confines of the black hole I call my backpack.

"No, no, no! Imposshibibble! Imposshibibble!" I turned away from the geezer merchant to watch the Chocobo Knights have their argument with the shoopuf driver. "Ish too big!" I heard Elma yell something in protest.

"What's going on here?" I asked, my voice deadly quiet. Only the chocobo was unfazed, somehow knowing I didn't _really_ mean any harm, I just wanted silence. And Trent as my personal love slave, but that's unrelated and I should take stuff like that one step at a time. I silently thanked my dead uncle for teaching me self restraint before he died. I can resist my various urges when I want to, I simply choose not to most of the time.

"U-um, the driver won't let our chocobo on the shoopuf!" Elma stuttered, fearing my deadly aura.

"Then find another way. There should be somewhere where you can cross on foot, right?" I asked, in a hurry now because Rikku would be joining us soon! I wanted to get on the shoopuf, trash the machina and reunite with Rikku. 'Cause she's awesome.

"But that'll take forever! And the fiends!" she whined.

"You'd be doing a service lessening the fiend population and also toughening yourselves up in the process. Everybody wins." I said calmly. "You can't fit a chocobo on a shoopuf. It's too big."

"Eggshackly!" the Hypello driver agreed with me. (The Hypello said "Exactly", if you couldn't quite understand him. Lord knows Hypello need to learn to talk _without_ shluring. That's my word, btw.)

"B-but – !" Lucil cut her off.

"You are right. We will find another way across. Thank you for dispelling this argument, we may well have been stuck here all day." I smiled at the older woman.

"That's fine. Happy to help, Lucil." She returned the smile. I felt a huge furry hand-paw on my shoulder. "We ready to go now, Kimahri?" I asked, turning to look at the Ronso. He nodded.

"Shoopuf ready to leave when we are." he said, turning to leave. I turned back to Lucil.

"I guess this is goodbye for now, huh? Best of luck finding more chocobos, Lucil." I said, waving at her and her subordinates as I left.

"Farewell, and give my best regards to Lady Yuna!"

"Will do!" I called over my shoulder as I followed Kimahri to the others.

"Ah, there you are." Lulu said, bonking me on the head lightly. She's the only one who can get away with that, because she's one of the rare people I actually respect. Not to mention... those dolls of hers are creepy. I wouldn't wanna fight her. Not with _them_. I shuddered, looking at the mog she held. It glared back at me. I get along with the Cait Sith just fine, but the mog and the moomba hate me, because I accidentally dropped them in the ocean in Kilika. They _never_ forgave me, and let me tell you that mog has one _hell_ of a potty mouth. Yes, they do talk. Lulu was considering giving Cait Sith to me as my companion after the pilgrimage was done with and she went to live back in Besaid. A memento, she said, if I _did_ end up going home at the end of all this, I'd have something to remember the journey by. She also said that when I reached her experience level, she'd teach me to animate dolls for myself.

"Indeed, teacher." I smiled before turning to Yuna. "Oh, and Lucil told me to give you her regards." I said, passing on the message.

"Oh, thank you for passing it on!" she said politely. I made a mental note to teach her some curse words later. Then, seeing everyone was ready and throwing the new gauntlets at Trent, I wandered over to the Hypello.

"Ride ze shoopuf?" I nodded. "All aboardsh!" And the machina activated, carrying us to the shoopuf's back. And so we set off across the river.

* * *

**A/N****: So, how was it? I want feedback! I need to know if this rewrite's any better than the original! Especially for those of you who read COEIS the first time round! You know who you are. -snake eyes-**


	7. Moonflow part 2 and Insane Prankfests

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing! No matter how much I wish for the situation to change, I will never own more than my OCs and ideas. I also do NOT own the pins/psyches. Those are from another game I'm passionate about, called ****_The World Ends With You_. If you have a DS and haven't already played it, I seriously recommend it. I love the battle system, but the music... is HEAVENLY. You're seriously missing out.**

**Socks: If you love it so much why aren't you playing it now?**

**Authoress: Because I have a previous obligation. I promised a rewrite to my beloved readers, and a rewrite they shall get! No matter how much of my free time it takes, I will not play TWEWY until I have given my readers what they came for!**

**Socks: You know, I'm actually starting to _respect_ you. What a scary thought.**

**Authoress: Wow. I should get determined more often. Now, slave, announce chapter seven. -uses mind-ray-**

**Socks: … Yes, mistress. ENJOY CHAPTER SEVEN OF 0ATHK33P3R'S REWRITE! AND REVIEW!**

**Chapter Seven: The Moonflow, part 2, Rikku joins us and I Hate Maester Sicko**

"... So what you're saying is all machina are bad, aside from the stuff we saw in Luca?" I asked, looking at Wakka.

"That's right, ya! If we start using anything else, Sin'll get worse!" Wakka answered, seemingly cheered by the fact that I was joining in on this.

"Did it never occur to you that some of the so-called forbidden machina can in fact make life easier with no consequence?" I asked. "We have machina where I live. And yet there is no Yevon and no Sin. Try explaining that." Wakka spluttered.

"What? You use machina?" he didn't look happy.

"Seems to me that Sin exists to keep you guys from advancing technologically. I mean, with technology you might be able to scan it, find out what makes it come back and take it out." I replied. "And yes, we use machina. Well, we call them machines. Sure, there are wars. But you don't need technology for that. Before machinery or machina were invented, you can be sure that wars were still waged, but with swords and spears rather than tanks and cannons."

"But machina turns people evil, makes them greedy!" Wakka protested.

"I grew up using machina, relying on it to preserve food for longer in a way similar to ice magic. We use machina to travel, cook, clean, you name it." I explained. "Trent, back me up on this."

"On what?" He wasn't listening to our argument.

"That we grew up using technology and it never caused us any problems!" I said.

"Oh... yeah. Sorry, Wakka, but she's right. There's nothing wrong with machina. The stuff we use back home just made life easier for us. We never had to hunt for food or start a fire to cook the food unless we were camping outside. Food was more abundant and could be kept longer. And we had machines to weave fabric so people wouldn't have work their fingers to the bone doing it by hand. Sure, they malfunction from time to time, but the thing is that they can be repaired, the only that needs doing is the maintenance." Trent backed me up.

"Lu! Are you hearin' this? They grew up with machina! Tell them how wrong they are!" Wakka seemed pretty scandalised by this revelation.

"They do pose a good argument. If all machina are evil, and their world has a lot of machina, then why is there no Sin where they come from?" Lulu asked.

"Probably because there's no Yevon." I muttered. Lulu caught it, but Wakka was too busy ranting.

"Fine then! But you'll never catch _me_ using machina! Nuh-uh! Never!" he ranted. "Else there'll be another machina war, ya!" I rolled my eyes. I'll hold you to that, Wakka.

"Eh?" Poor Tidus didn't know if he was coming or going.

"A thousand years ago, there was a war between Zanarkand and Bevelle." I explained. "Zanarkand was losing, and when the soldiers from Bevelle climbed Mount Gagazet in the north to finish it, Sin appeared in the Zanarkand and destroyed the city. They say it's the end result of machina-induced bloodshed." I finished. And now everyone was staring at me like I'd grown a second head. "What? I explained it, didn't I?" Yuna, Wakka and Lulu all nodded, looking astonished.

And then something slammed into our ride.

"What was that?" Trent asked.

"Al Bhed, I guess. I heard someone mention there being a lot around here. They're the ones responsible for the summoners disappearing." I whispered back. He shot me a curious look. And Yuna did the stupid thing of standing up.

"Sit down!" Auron and I told her. Too late. As she went to sit down, you guessed it, she was grabbed by an Al Bhed.

"Yuna!" Tidus yelled, jumping in after her. Wakka followed.

"Yuna, we'll save you!" I handed my bag to Trent, telling him to look after it before I followed, drawing my knife-claws and my hidden dagger. Tiny throwing weapons aren't much good in an underwater fight. Tidus and Wakka both looked a little shocked that I was helping them after my little spat with Wakka, but Yuna is my friend and needs my help, no matter how much I wanna kill Wakka right now. I signalled for them to distract it so I could get near, mentally apologising to Rikku for what I was about to do. When I managed to get near it, I tore off one of the main panels and blasted it with Thundara, before getting flung away. The Extractor was suddenly above us, using Depth Charges to blind Tidus and Wakka. I used some eye drops on him, and mouthed "OVERDRIVE!" to him. He nodded, and used his Element Reels to deliver a Thunder based attack to the gigantic machina in above us. This made it come back down, so I slashed it a few times before unleashing a second Thundara. And I then did a mental facepalm because I was too close to the machina when it exploded. So of course I KO'd. Everything went dark and I was in crazy-land where everyone had demented smiles on their faces and...

* * *

"Kelle! Rikku! Wake up!" Since when was Tidus so whiny-sounding? I sat up, cradling one nasty headache. Maybe this is what it feels like to be hung over. I wouldn't know. I don't really care for the taste of booze. Not to mention, if I'm bad when I'm sugar-high, chances are I'd be even worse as a drunk. Like super evil violent drunk.

"Ugh... Since when were you all high pitched and whiny, Tidus?" I complained, sitting up while nursing my sore head. Getting caught in explosions _will_ give you one _hell_ of a migraine when you come to, believe it or not. I rummaged through my main pouch, fishing out a Potion and downing it in one and grimacing at the taste. But it did help my migraine, so it was worth the bitter taste. Someone really needs to invent a nicer tasting one. Preferably sweet. Oh, but then there are people who don't like sweet things... I feel my headache starting to come back already just thinking about it.

"KELLE!" Suddenly I'm being glomped. Is Rikku immune to explosion-migraines? No fair... Why am I the only on with a migraine? "You're okay!"

"Likewise." I smiled weakly. "Sorry about the machina. I'm a guardian, it's kinda my job to not let Yuna be kidnapped." I apologised. She frowned, while Tidus stared at me like I'd grown another head.

"What are you talking about?" he asked as Rikku shed her diver's garb. "Wait... you were the one in the machina?" he asked, looking a little angry with Rikku.

"Uh huh."

"But you attacked us!" he said, looking a little confused.

"It's not exactly what you think..." Rikku trailed off, before we were interrupted by Besaid's biggest Yevonite.

"YO!" Yay, Wakka's back. Note the sarcasm.

"Great, the Al Bhed hater cometh." I muttered. Rikku looked kinda scared. "Don't worry. I'll keep my mouth shut. It's not his fault he's a rockhead Yevonite." I whispered to her. She looked a little shocked, but smiled gratefully. "Hey, Wakka, everyone." I said.

"We were worried when you didn't surface." Lulu said calmly, before bonking me on the head. And the mog and moomba were glaring at me again.

"Your friend?" Wakka asked. No DUH, why else would we be stood here talking to her!

"Yeah, this is Rikku. She helped us out before we met you." I said simply, stomping on Tidus' foot and giving him a 'look' to keep him quiet. It didn't work.

"Yeah, she's an Al Bhe-beh..." I kicked him. This time he got the message and shut it. Thankfully Wakka is too dumb to see through what Tidus' stuttering meant. Though the other guys got it and kept quiet. I'd explained the whole thing about Rikku being an Al Bhed and Wakka hating them, and so he knew to keep the peace.

"Could I have a word?" Rikku asked. Everyone nodded. "Girls only! Boys please wait over there!" The boys all walked off, grumbling about women.

"What's the matter?" Yuna asked her cousin.

"Yuna, you know how you're half Al Bhed?" I asked. "I think Rikku might know you or something." I shrugged.

"Uh huh! I'm Cid's daughter! We're cousins, Yunie!" Rikku said cheerfully. I smiled.

"So I guess this is a family reunion, huh?" I asked. She nodded. "So, um, I don't know about you, but if you want to come along as a guardian, that's fine by me. I wanna brush up on my Al Bhed, it's been a while." Rikku seemed pretty astonished by my acceptance, but nodded, happy she wasn't hated.

"Yunie, can I come with you? I know Yevon hates us Al Bhed, and all... But I won't cause a scene or embarrass you, I swear!" she asked. Yuna nodded, looking slightly relieved her cousin was so accepting of her career choice. She wasn't really, but wanted to keep the peace.

"Of course you can join us, Rikku."

"It's fine with me, too." Lulu toned in. "But what about Sir Auron?"

"It should be okay with him as long as Rikku doesn't try to interfere with the pilgrimage." I said. "That's the only thing that matters as far as he's concerned." Rikku nodded, looking a little disapproving. But she agreed because she wanted to know her cousin. "As long as no one blabs to Wakka, there shouldn't be any objections." Rikku looked worried. "Hey, don't worry! Everyone knows that Wakka is an Al Bhed hater, and I made sure that Tidus and Trent won't breathe a word." I reassured her.

"Which one was Trent?"

"The hot one in the red and black shirt." I grinned, before realising what I had blurted out. "I said nothing! NOTHING!"

"You _liiiiike_ him!" Rikku teased playfully.

"S-so what if I do? I've known him since forever!" I stuttered. She giggled, pushing. "Seriously, keep it a secret?" The others all nodded, just in time for the guys to come back. I breathed a sigh of relief, which didn't go unnoticed by Trent, though he was curious and didn't join me as I climbed into a tree and rummaged through my bag to see what else was in it. I hadn't really looked through it, so I couldn't be sure if I didn't have stuff from back home in it. I gasped happily, finding my favourite Skullcandy Ti headphones (The pink furry version, I didn't realise I had them with me, I had been using the crappy in-ear phones that came with the mp3) and my beloved mp3 player. My prayers were answered as they both still worked, having survived their previous dunkings and me just throwing the bag around in general. I suspected the fayth may have had something to do with it. That and I kept them in a special waterproof mini bag, but I'd always questioned its efficiency. I offered silent thanks to who or whatever was responsible for my favourite things being there and put on my headphones, listening to my music as I fished out the waterproof leather case for my mp3, to clip it onto my belt. I grinned, finding it and sticking it on my belt and humming along.

...And then I jumped ten feet in the air when Rikku glomped me. I hit the pause button and lowered my phones to my shoulders, hearing her ask what I was listening to, and all manner of questions.

"Come on, Kelle! What is that on your belt?" she asked.

"It's an mp3, Rikku. Lets me play music and movies that I have stored on it, almost like a sphere you can buy at that theatre place in Luca. If I'm lucky, I'll find a way to upgrade it to copy sphere content onto it. Much less bulky." I laughed. She grinned. My mp3 is actually a custom job. See, I'm kinda a geek when it comes down to it. I hate sports (except fighting) and I'm into computers and whatnot. It was a birthday gift from a friend who'd basically asked me to list what I wanted in an mp3 and made it for me. He'd given me some blueprints and taught me how to repair it and stuff. I'd been studying technology as part of my course, and I had been getting somewhere, though I still have a LONG way to go before I'm as good as, say, Rikku for example.

"Sounds good to me!" she said. "Show me sometime!" she whispered as Wakka shot me a suspicious glare at the "machina" headphones around my neck.

"Hey, I didn't know you had those with you." Trent frowned, upset that I hadn't shared with him.

"Neither did I until just now! I haven't really had much chance to rummage through my bag lately." Then I remembered I was supposed to be mad at him. "And why am I talking to you? I'm still mad about earlier, you know!" When I walked on ahead, Rikku followed me.

"What, did you have an argument? A lovers tiff?" I flushed.

"He called me unfeminine!" I said, still peeved. "I mean, I know I don't act all girly like a damsel in distress like _she_ does, but unfeminine? That's crossing the line!" I ranted, fuming that Trent seemed to lean more toward Shell than me. I always thought that he cared for us both equally as his friends, and now I was being pushed out. It _hurt_.

"That _is_ pretty mean. But who's this girl you mentioned?" she asked, curious.

"Shell. She's another friend of mine. I figure if we were all together when we came to Spira, then we were all brought here, just separated on the way." I theorised. "I mean, she's the really trendy one out of the two of us. I like clothes, but she's the shopaholic out of the two of us. She was popular with the boys, played some sports and was on a fashion course." I told her. "I mean, I can sew okay and make designs for stuffed animals, but I can't draw people to save my life and my fashion sense is, in Shell's opinion, questionable. She's the one who loves make up and dressing in fancy clothes. I like tinkering with computers and stuff. I mean, I love wearing earrings and a bracelet or two, but I'm not appearance-orientated like she is. I never really think about the way I look." I rambled. Rikku nodded in understanding.

"So your feelings are hurt because Trent seems to think you're less of a girl because you're not into the stuff she's into?" she asked, her eyes narrowing when I nodded. "Then I guess I'm less of a girl, too." she said stubbornly. There was a part of me that said Rikku was being a better friend than my so-called best friends who I known since childhood while I barely knew her. My thoughts were cut off as we ran into a Bunyip and, weirdly, a treasure chest. "Ooh, a treasure chest! I wonder what's inside..." she grinned, stealing two Bomb Cores from it, then getting hit by the Bunyip. She grinned, mixing a couple Grenades rather than the Bomb Cores, knowing that they could come in handy later.

"That... was awesome." Trent said, giving Rikku an impressed smile. She simply huffed and walked over to me. Machine/machina geeks unite! "W-why are all the women in the group siding against me?"

"Never call a girl unfeminine if you want to stay on their good side!" Rikku and I snapped.

"You don't know much about girls, do you?" Tidus laughed nervously, patting Trent on the shoulder.

"Blondie, how could you?" I pouted playfully. "Fraternising with the enemy!"

"Such treachery!" Rikku said, mock-horrified. "Sympathising with that fiend who says mechanics are unfeminine!"

"Well they _are_ unfeminine!" Rikku and I both gasped at Trent's response.

"Your funeral!" Tidus said, retreating to a safe distance. He's not so dumb after all.

"_What_ did you just say, sexist pig?" I hissed, drawing my shuriken while Rikku pulled out a grenade.

...Let's just say he was limping and whining about his rotten luck the rest of the way to Guadosalam, keeping to the back of the group as he was unable to fight. And Yuna wouldn't heal him, he was out of Potions and none of the other guys were dumb enough to risk our wrath by giving him one.

"That'll teach him!" Rikku and I were happily chatting about whatever came to mind. The meaning of life, why the sky was blue, what was it like where I came from, what's it like in Home... the list goes on. And then we arrived.

"Ah, great." I muttered irritably. "Time to visit Maester Sicko." Rikku looked kind of amazed.

"How come you hate Yevon so much?" she whispered as Trent happily staggered to the nearest Life Sphere. Bah.

"...Lots of reasons." I said, shooting a pointed look behind her where Tromell was coming. He seemed mildly surprised that Rikku was with us, being an Al Bhed, but that passed as Yuna came along.

"We have been expecting you, Lady Yuna. Welcome to Guadosalam. This way, my lady, this way." he made the mistake of trying to take her with him without us.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Wakka said, stopping him before he grabbed her arm.

"Oh, I beg your pardon. I am called Tromell Guado. I am in the direct service of our leader, the great Seymour Guado." he said, bowing to us. I resisted the urge to barf. "Lord Seymour has very important business with Lady Yuna." Yeah, I bet. I wondered if he actually knew why Seymour wanted to marry her. Probably not, I thought.

"Business with me? Whatever could it be, I wonder?" Yuna asked. She's so clueless sometimes.

"Twist our arms, why don't you?" I heard Rikku mutter before she stopped Tidus and myself for a talk on weapon customisation. I wandered in, looking at all the portraits of former Guado leaders. They didn't seem so creepy as the current one, I thought. When I mentioned this to Rikku, she nodded in agreement and Kimahri offered a slight inclination of the head also.

"Kimahri not like Maester Seymour." Yuna seemed pretty scandalised that Kimahri would say that in the man's own house.

"Ahh! Shh!"

"Kimahri speak no more." he said simply, not wanting Yuna to be mad at him. She may be a white mage, but she's fearsome when riled all the same.

"That makes three of us who dislike him, Kimahri." I whispered just loudly enough for the Ronso to hear. "Tidus doesn't either." The brief flash of teeth told me Kimahri was trying his best to not grin. So I grinned for him, looking like a Cheshire Cat once more. Needless to say this terrified certain members of our party and even a couple of the Guado security guys around the room, who backed up a couple step. I found this to be very amusing, and my psycho-killer grin only widened. Kimahri's shoulders were shaking with silent laughter as Tromell walked out to lead us into the dining room/guest room/main hall. Yuna wondered what was so funny, but ended up listening to Tromell's ass kissing speech. I decided to try the Guado food with Rikku.

"Mmm! Guado sure know how to eat!" Rikku said through a mouthful. It _was_ pretty tasty. Then again, I love spicy food, and this was spicy and so yummy. Not that I'll ever admit that to Seymour. But seriously, complements to the chef. I made yet another mental note: Get a Guado cook book and learn to cook yummy food. I saw some stuff that would keep a while and would work as a snack, so I ended up shoving some in my belt pouches when the others weren't looking and grudgingly admitting to myself that Seymour had taste when it came to noms. But that's all. Aside from the noms, he is a horrible disgusting person and I still wanna kill him. One semi-redeeming feature is not nearly enough.

"Yeah... I suppose." I answered her through a mouthful of my own. "Tidus, you want us to save you some?" I called over once I'd swallowed. He shook his head, obviously not trusting the Guado nom-noms. Party pooper. "More for us, then." I shrugged, while Rikku and I continued enjoying the yummies. I noticed that Seymour had come in and was berating Tromell for praising him. Weirdo. I was kind peeved when we couldn't eat anymore, because when Seymour activated the sphere, the noms table disappeared!

"No, the food!" I heard Rikku complain quietly. But then we were both distracted by the stars and the change in scenery.

"Pretty..." I said faintly, staring blankly.

"You said it..." Rikku replied, just as faintly.

"Zanarkand!" I heard Tidus gasp, as I noticed we were 'flying' over a city.

"Correct, Zanarkand. As it was one thousand years ago." Trust Seymour to kill my high. I wanted my noms back. I watched the memory-people go about their 'lives', before the sphere switched to Yunalesca's room.

"Lady Yunalesca!" I heard Yuna exclaim. Yes, Yuna. We know. Creepy soul-reaper lady, I thought, looking very hard at Yunalesca. Then Zaon walked through Yuna, and she freaked out a little. If I didn't like Yuna, I'd be laughing my ass off at her expression. Even when the lovey-dovey crap started she _still_ didn't catch on. So naïve. I'm actually a little envious. Then I watched her face turn the colour of a tomato when Seymour whispered 'the question' in her ear. She was gulping down water once the sphere finished.

"Wow, your face is beet red!" Rikku giggled, looking at Yuna.

"So he popped the question, huh?" I grinned at her expression. "I have good hearing." I said, my grin widening in a rather predatory manner. "So do you, like, have a thing for guys with funny hair?" I asked. Trent seemed to agree with me for once. That hair is a crime against... well, _hair_. KILL IT WITH FIRE! She glared at me. "Just saying. I speak for Trent as well when I say hair like that is a crime against hair in general." I then got an idea. "Hey, why don't we do 'Pimp Your Hairstyle'? That would be _fun_." I said out loud.

"That... sounds like fun, I agree." Trent said. "But this isn't really the time or place to discuss Maester Seymour's fashion crimes, Kelle." I pouted, but grudgingly agreed to save it for later.

"What should I do?" I shook my head, not knowing what to tell her. Everyone else (Except Auron and Kimahri) was voicing their various opinions on the matter as they left. Auron was slow, so Tidus and I stuck behind and waited for him.

"Why are you still here, Sir?" the Lord of Hair Crime asked Auron, who looked kinda shocked. And pissed. "I'm sorry, we Guado are keen to the scent of the Farplane." I facepalmed as Tidus started sniffing him, trying to figure out what Seymour meant. I laughed as Auron shoved him away and he left, receiving a glare from the dead guy as a result.

"Why are you laughing?" he snapped.

"Because it was funny watching Tidus act like an idiot!" I giggled. "And I'm the only live member of our group who knows the meaning behind that implication just now." I said soberly. "I won't say squat." I said, walking off to go find the others.

"He sure picked a fine time to lay this one on us!" I heard Wakka complain.

"Maybe it _is_ a fine time." Yuna said quietly. I sighed, knowing it would be futile to protest, so I wandered off to find a Guado cookbook like I wanted. I _did_ find one, though it took quite a bit of the gil I'd nabbed from Trent, (telling him that the armour I'd picked up for him cost a bundle and he owed me a truckload) because they weren't eager to give away the secret to tasty noms. But I got there in the end. I stocked up on more items from both the Guado vendor and O'aka, before wandering to the Farplane entrance where the others were waiting for me.

"What took you so long?" Lulu asked, peeved.

"Hey, blame that shopkeeper! If he hadn't taken so long to convince, I would have gotten here sooner!" I whined. She rolled her eyes.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"...I got a Guado cookbook." I admitted. She quirked an eyebrow. "And some items, I swear! But I _had_ to learn to make that stuff they had back at the manse! It was so yummy!" Rikku nodded in agreement to the yummy comment. Lulu muttered something under her breath before shooing us in. Auron stopped before everyone else did, not quite ready to rest on the Farplane just yet.

"The past is all that is there. I need it not." he said, leaning against the 'walls' at the side of the pathway and refusing to go any further. Rikku and I also stopped. Myself, because I wasn't really interested in 'seeing the dead', and Rikku because she held the Al Bhed belief that you should keep your memories to yourself. Must be some Al Bhed superstition. Rikku was happy to teach me more about machina and stuff, like what they had salvaged since the _Fahrenheit_ (Check the wikia. Cid's airship is called the _Fahrenheit_.), and how Al Bhed flash bombs worked. I was starting to wish _I_ was Al Bhed. Though I was happy to play the Powerthirst video I had stored on my mp3, which made us both laugh our asses off. We also planned to ask Wakka if he was related to the (obviously Photoshopped) muscle guy in the video. I mean, you'd have to be _blind_ not to see the resemblance. And, of course, I pulled out the in ear 'phones and we listened to some music together until the others _finally_ came out, everyone but Trent giving us disapproving looks in relation to the 'machina' I was using. So I paused it.

"Hey, Wakka. Are you related to this guy here?" I asked, walking over and showing him the Steroid Monster on my screen.

"What are you talking about, ya? I don't look nothing like that guy!" he yelled, embarrassed.

"But you both look like you're on the same steroids..." I said. This caused Trent, Rikku and Tidus to bust out laughing, while everyone but Auron (Who was grinning) to look seriously confused.

"What's steroids, ya?" Wakka asked, confused.

"They make your pee-pee smaller." I deadpanned, prompting more laughter from the two guys who actually knew what steroids were. "Maybe the boys should explain it to you." I giggled, watching Rikku double over from laughter with a scream of mirth. Wakka looked pretty peeved with me once the guys had explained what steroids were to him.

"That's not funny, ya!"

"It damn well is!" I said, grinning as we turned to leave. And then a certain dead guy decided to claw his way back from the Farplane.

"Lord Jyscal!" Yuna gasped, staring at him. He seemed to be trying to say something, but we couldn't hear him. Auron was doubled over in pain.

"Yuna. Send him." he said, keeping the pain out of his voice. She looked concerned over _why_ Jyscal was attempting to escape the Farplane, but did so as Auron backed off to a safe distance. Jyscal seemed to accept this, and dropped a sphere for her. I remembered that she'd be watching it later at the in in Thunder Plains Travel Agency when we decided to stay the night there for the sake of poor Rikku and her astraphobia. I watched Yuna snatch up the sphere, stashing it in her sleeves. It seemed all anyone talked about on the way out.

"So why did that happen?" Trent asked me.

"He was murdered." I said quietly. "Unfinished business generally gives an unsent a tie to the plane of the living." Like Auron, I thought.

"Murdered?" Rikku exclaimed. "But... who'd murder a maester?"

"...I can't say." I said quietly, making sure to sound disappointed. "But try thinking of a someone who had something to be gained from Jyscal's death." Rikku seemed kinda worried. I wished I _did_ have a Player Pin so I could know what she was thinking. Tidus just voiced his theory about Jyscal not having been sent.

"I would think he was sent, once." Lulu told him. "But his ties to this world were strong enough for him to come back."

"I don't blame him." I said. "If I got murdered, I'd want to avenge myself, too." I explained. "Or at least see that the person or people responsible got their just desserts." I elaborated.

"Good point..." Rikku said. "I think I'd be the same." We both nodded.

"Unless I had someone still alive who I knew would avenge me. Then I wouldn't try to break the rules. Breaking out of the Farplane looks like hard work." I shrugged. "We all know how lazy I can be." She grinned.

"Well, how about we cover each other. If I get murdered, you kick butt in my place, and if you get murdered, I'll kick butt in your place." Rikku said.

"Good idea." I nodded. "Shall we make it an official pact?" I giggled. She nodded, and we shook on it.

"Huh... but what if we both got murdered?" Rikku asked. That was a tough one.

"Then we _both_ bust out and raise holy hell!" I said, patting her on the back.

"Sounds good to me!" We both grinned wickedly. Trent seemed terrified.

"Stop distracting me." I whined. "How am I gonna pollute Rikku's innocent young mind with my evil while you're gawping at me like that?" I gasped dramatically, making to shield Rikku from Trent's mental good guy-ness. Rikku was more than happy to play around and hide behind me.

"No, I don't wanna be a good guy!" she wailed. "Good guys are boring!" I smirked at him.

"You wanna be a bad guy?" I asked.

"Yeah, baby! I wanna be bad!" Rikku yelled, punching the air before the two of us started laughing evilly. Then Lulu whacked us over the head, berating us for acting like a couple of kids.

"Hey, at least we're not griping like a couple of old crones!" I complained, placing my hands on my hips.

"Good God, woman, don't anger it!" I heard Trent mutter under his breath.

"I heard that." I said, turning and going to sit on the edge of the pool-things near the manse, while Yuna went to try and find Seymour, while plotting revenge on Trent for the 'unfeminine' thing with Rikku. In the end, she stole his hair products and items. And all the reflective surfaces so he couldn't kiss up to his reflection.

"NO! WHERE IS MY PRECIOUS?" I heard a scream, so me and Rikku found a place to hide, snickering at his reactions. I then took some goo from the 'pools', grinning wickedly as I climbed up and tipped it on his head from above, my sadistic smirk widening at his scream, running back to hide with Rikku before I could get caught.

"I can't believe you just did that!" Rikku whispered between giggles.

"Now, what shall we do with these..." I asked, picking up the stolen hair products. "Ah, revenge..." I stuffed Trent's beloved hair junk in my bag, bottling some of the pool-goop for later use as I spotted Tidus and Shelinda talking about Seymour.

"That's 'Maester Seymour' or 'Lord Seymour'." she corrected him.

"A title doesn't necessarily make you a better person, you know." I butted in, making Shelinda jump a few feet in the air. I resisted my urge to bust out laughing. She glared at me for a moment, before leaving. "So our next stop is Macalania?" I asked nonchalantly. He nodded, bemused. "You go tell the others. I'm off shopping." I was actually telling the truth. That Guado shop had a whole bunch of awesome stuffs in stock. Not to mention they made Potions that didn't make me yak. I ended up finding and buying a fine silk sleeping shirt/wrap. Think cache-coeur, only black with an indigo lining. And it had the shoulders cut out. I spotted a green and yellow one, and bought it for Rikku, who'd been secretly complaining about not having anything to wear in bed. You wouldn't know this, but they have really high quality stuff in Guadosalam. You won't ever catch me admitting it out loud.

"Took you long enough!" Lulu snapped at me. I realised I'd spent too long shopping and had ended up making everyone wait, though Rikku's silently grateful look for giving her a little extra time before the Thunder Plains did not go unnoticed. Though that look vanished quickly as we left.

"Sorry, Rikku... For not taking longer." I patted her shoulder sympathetically. She smiled weakly. "Don't worry so, if lightning does hit our party, it'll hit Wakka first!" I whispered. She managed a giggle.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, lightning hits the tallest thing around. And even without the hair he's pretty tall. We're the smallest here anyway, and therefore the least likely to get shocked." I told her with what I hoped was a reasurring smile. It seemed to have the desired effect.

"Thanks..."

"No problem. Everyone has something they hate." I said. Like my pet fear that my best guy friend didn't like me the same way as Shell any more. I sighed. "Onward and ever downward!" I said fake-cheerfully, pointing forward and pretending to charge into the realm of terror. In Rikku's mind, that is.

* * *

**A/N****: I did it! I finally did it! Almost 6000 words! I'm so proud of myself...**

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	8. Rikku's Astraphobia and THE PDA HORROR!

**Disclaimer****: I do not own jack shit except my OC insanity. ;)**

**Socks: Damn right.**

**Authoress: Thank you for the review, Shaz! It was much appreciated, I'm glad you like my writing and you find it funny. I couldn't really spell very well way back when I first came up with this, and my grammar was atrocious at best. It's nice to hear people say such kind things. :)**

**Socks: How long has it _been_ since you last got a review on this?**

**Authoress: Too long. But at least I've got subscriptions. Better than nothing.**

**Socks: Touché. But this isn't as popular as that other thing you wrote.**

**Authoress: Meh. I like writing this story. Screw popularity. Now introduce the chapter or I'll use my mind ray on you again.**

**Socks: ...Fine. Here's chapter eight. Hope you enjoy.**

**Chapter Seven: Rikku's Astraphobia Nightmare and the Horror of PDAs.**

"Oh, no... We're here..." Rikku whimpered, hiding behind me. I smiled apologetically. "I think I forgot something in Guadosalam!"

"Nice knowing you." Auron said calmly.

"Okay, okay! I'll go!" she whined.

"Remember what I told you, Rikku. It's more likely to hit Wakka than us." I reassured her.

"Wha's that supposed to mean, ya?" Wakka glared at me. I smirked.

"With that hair, you're like a walking lightning rod tower." I said cheerfully, walking onward with Rikku clinging to my arm for support as I ignored Wakka's various yells and Trent's laughter in spite of his recently trashed hair. "Rikku, how am I s'posed to fight fiends with you clinging like that?" I complained.

"B-but, Kelle!" she whined.

"I told you, we'll be fine! Besides... the fiends here use Thunder magic. So you'll want me to kill them, no?" I asked her. She instantly let go, the thought of Thunder-based fiends terrifying to her. Her fear was justified shortly as a Kusariqqu came out from behind a nearby tower and nearly got us with its Thunder Breath. I called Auron and Kimahri, because it's better to just use a piercing-type weapon on these things than spend forever trying to kill it with magic and normal weapons. Unless you know Armour Break, which I don't. The guys took it out, while I cast Watera on an Elemental, killing it. And then something fell out of my bag. Several somethings. Namely the bottle of pool-goop and the empty bottles of Trent's hair stuff.

"Kelle. Are you the one who poured this crap on my head earlier?" Trent asked, his voice dangerously quiet as he picked up the pool goop and his empty bottles. I gulped. Trent can be terrifying when his hair is threatened. No joke. And then Tidus got struck by lightning, distracting everyone. It was not the first or last time either. I wisely used the distraction to get away from Trent and the crazy, horrible punishment he had no doubt thought up for me. I was laughing my ass off, because Tidus got hit by lightning a _princely_ fifteen times BEFORE we reached the inn. So if he kept it up, he'd be hit a total of thirty times before we actually reached Macalania.

"Rikku. There's an inn up ahead, you know. If we nag enough we might get a safe place to sleep..." I hinted. She stared at me for a minute, before running onward, dodging lightning bolts as best she could. We'd all been hit a few times, but now that I'd gotten the hang of it, I was trying to dodge 200 consecutive bolts to get the Venus Sigil, save time. Meaning I was out there for a LONG time while everyone else was inside. But I did it eventually. I sighed, exhausted from the ordeal of dodging lightning and fighting off fiends. I was almost out of mana energy by the time I was done. Lulu better be damn grateful when I power up her Onion Knight (I collected the Venus Crest back in Guadosalam. You _can_ get it before the airship, you just go back there before you leave for the Thunder Plains! Tee hee). I opened the door.

And saw the most horrifying thing I have ever seen to date. No fiend could trump this.

"N-no WAY!" I yelled, pointing a finger. "You guys are...?" They broke apart, and I was suddenly on the floor, having being jumped on by my _so-called_ best friend. Okay, so she doesn't _know_ I like Trent, but all the same. She still betrayed my trust by not telling me about it.

"Kellie!" She screeched. I froze into an unbending statue; it's the usual thing when she hugs me.

"Shell. Why didn't you tell me." I said, trying hard not to scream and barf all at the same time. You'd feel the same way if you just saw your two best friends since babyhood with their tongues down each others' throats. So you can imagine that this utterly disturbing revelation made it very hard for me to remain calm and stoical as per usual. But I _just about_ managed it. By the skin of my teeth.

"U-um, we _wanted_ to, b-but we didn't wanna make you feel like a third wheel." she stuttered, looking half-guilty, half-HAHA-I-HAVE-A-BOYFRIEND-NOW-AND-YOU'RE-ALL-ALONE. Yes it is an expression.

"Congratulations. You failed big time." I deadpanned. She laughed nervously while Trent sidled out the room.

"How've you been?" she asked, obviously trying to change the subject.

"Usual. Fabulous highs followed by spirit-crushing lows." LIKE THIS ONE. "And then a little lower." And then for some reason she was staring at me like I was from a whole other – oh, wait. Technically I _am_ from a whole other world, but you get the idea, right? Speaking of which... I love that song. It's the one that plays during Tidus' blitz match in Zanarkand.

"What happened to your eyes?" she actually looked concerned. Ha.

"Magic exposure. Nothing to worry about, I'm learning magic from Lulu." I said, pointing at by wonderful teacher, who looked rather amused-slash-sympathetic at my current situation. "Is there another room available? Dodging lightning bolts is tiring." I said lazily, pushing her off and collecting the Venus Sigil as I had planned.

"Sure thing! Right this way!" I got dragged off to a room in the back, smirking as I spotted Tidus perving on Yuna. Er, I mean _spying on her watching Jyscal's sphere_. Of course.

"Since it seems you work here, when does your shift end?" I asked, hoping I would be asleep by then.

"Now." DAMN. "So, what brings you out into the middle of nowhere?" she asked curiously. Brilliant. Now her attention's focused on me. I'll never get rid of her now. I simply explained it to her, telling her all about what had happened (Except the hair. She'll get _really_ full of herself if she finds out her hair's in better shape than mine. It's something we tend to argue about a lot. And I gave her no spoilers, either.) until she _finally_ left, upon which I silently rejoiced, because it meant I could get some sleep at long last. I got the shock of my life when I took off my hat and bandanna while changing for bed. My hair had turned completely white.

"Lulu! Rikku!" I called, staring in the mirror. It actually looked okay. Maybe there was still hope and it could be salvaged.

"Whoa!" Rikku said, grabbing my hair and playing with the loose ringlets. "It changed colour!" Thank you, Captain Obvious.

"What do I do?" I asked quietly.

"It actually seems to suit you." Lulu commented. "Perhaps tied up?" She left the room, only to come back moments later with some pieces of leather cord and an ornate metal hair clasp to go on top, using them to tie my long hair up for me in a high ponytail, leaving my bangs and letting me put my bandanna on to accompany the style, putting my deck on aforementioned bandanna and stashing my hat in the depths of my bag, along with the spare hair ties she'd gotten me. "There." she said, fixing the hair clasp.

"How does it look?" I asked, looking in the mirror. I loved the look. Even tied up, my hair reached my mid to lower back in loose curls. Rikku gave me a thumbs-up. "And here I was thinking of getting it cut."

"No! Don't cut it! It's just right at this length." she said, playing with it. I ended up being Rikku's hair model until Lulu told her off. I didn't mind. Unlike Shell, Rikku was actually quite gentle with my hair. Shell has a tendency to almost tear it out at the roots.

I ended up practising my magic with Lulu for a while until it was time to finally sleep. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: only an idiot would dare piss off Lulu. Or a masochist. Wakka might be a masochist as well as an idiot, which would explain why he made a habit of angering the beast.

* * *

"Kelle! Kelle!" BANG BANG BANG. I looked at the clock. It was the freaking crack of dawn. What creature is stupid enough to wake me up at such an ungodly hour? "KELLE! FUCKING WAKE UP!" Two people. Namely the lovebirds. I slammed the door open.

"WHAT?" I yelled. "WAKING ME UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN, YOU TWO BETTER HAVE A DAMN GOOD REASON!" I snarled, a fireball forming itself in my palm. Trent gulped, while Shell was staring at my hair.

"What the heck happened to you?" she laughed. The fireball in my palm got bigger, and lightning started crackling in my other hand. That shut her up.

"We need your help." Trent said, cutting to the chase. I quirked an eyebrow, which is my way of saying 'Well? WHAT IS IT?'. He swallowed. "I need you to back us up when we ask Yuna to make Shell a guardian." WHAT? NO! FUCK NO!

"No. You two have lied to me and betrayed my trust by hiding things from me. In not helping you, it makes us even." I said coldly.

"Dammit, Kelle! You know I wouldn't ask this of you if it weren't important!" he snapped, grabbing me by the shoulders. I narrowed my eyes at him, crossing my arms across my chest.

"How do I know you won't stab me in the back again? You can't be very good friends if you'd hide something important like you guys being together from me." I hissed. "What motive do I have?" He at least had to good grace to look guilty. Shell, however, looked unrepentant, I noticed. "Also, you'd be distracted. You'd most likely be making out when we're meant to be protecting Yuna. Maybe you should both stay here if you're so eager to stay together." Shell didn't seem opposed to the suggestion. Trent did, however.

"How are we supposed to make it up to you? Friends watch out for one another, no matter how inconvenient it is to them!" His grip on my shoulders loosened to something that felt... nice. And, damn. He had me there. "Besides, the fayth wanted us to guard Yuna for a reason, right?" I sighed, giving in.

"What about her weapon and her armour and her Sphere Grid?" I asked.

"You know those crystal weapons we found at Djose?" I nodded. "Shell woke up with hers here in the Thunder Plains. It's a pink crystal boomerang called the Vortex." Pink. Of course. I would expect no less from a girly-girl like her. "But the armour is an issue..." I sighed, dragging them both into my room and pulling the Rainbow Sash I'd bought on the Moonflow south bank and handed it to her.

"There. Armour dilemma solved. What about her Sphere Grid?" I asked, folding my arms across my chest. She pulled it out and handed it to me. As I had done for myself and the others, I adjusted her Grid so that the attribute nodes were all plus 4. I didn't _want_ to, but they'd see something was up if I left hers unmodified. Then I pulled out the pin bag. "Take your pick." I said simply. Her deck is the following:

**Sweet Talk Tether** (Psych: Entanglement: Holds the enemy in place with chains. The chains damage on contact. 3 uses per charge, takes 5 seconds to reboot)

**Demon's Hatred** (Psych: Explosion: Emblem appears in the air, emitting fireballs in all directions that only harm enemies. 1 use per charge, takes 3 seconds to reboot)

**Sparkle Charge** (Psych: Cure Boost+: Works like an auto-ability. Boosts healing magic and psychs. Health restoring barriers do NOT get boosts from this pin.)

**Skull Rabbit** (Psych: Force Rounds: Shoots bullets that sometimes inflict Defence Break, or in this case, Armour Break, which gets rid of the armoured status on an enemy. 5 uses per charge, takes 6.5 seconds to reboot)

**Sprog** (Psych: Freeze: Also holds enemies in place, though it does not damage them. Works well alongside the Dope Line pin. 6 uses per charge, takes 3.2 seconds to reboot)

**Pig** (Psych: Grandmother Lode: Increases drop rates of common items and chances of rare items being dropped by enemies, in exchange for all AP. This cost is nulled by the Triple AP auto-ability on the Vortex boomerang.)

Trent explained the whole thing about psyches to Shell as I ushered them out of my room so I could get some peace and have my lie-in.

* * *

In the end, they didn't need my help in getting Yuna to make Shell a guardian. That girl can't say no to anyone. She's just too nice. I was gonna have to teach her that later, I thought as I silently cursed Auron (who I'd been secretly relying on to say no) for letting Shell come along. Oh, well. At least she picked some useful psyches. It's kind of hard to hit an enemy with a massive hit psych if it's moving about all the time.

"Isn't this wonderful, Kellie?" I fucking _hate_ that nickname. "Now we're all together again!" Quick to change her tune, wasn't she? She was all for having Trent stay here with her.

"Yes. Wonderful."

"Anyway, you never did tell me what happened to your hair." I looked over at Lulu and Rikku, who were over at the counter discussing what to stock up on.

"I dunno." I admitted. "It just turned white."

"Maybe it's that family condition! Your mom told my mom about it. Apparently it runs in your dad's side." she said. I quirked an eyebrow, mildly perplexed but unsurprised. All the weird stuff happens to me, anyway. "Poor you." She snickered.

"I like it, actually. It's different." I said, watching with satisfaction as her expression turned a little sour. "Where did you get that outfit, by the way?" I asked her curiously. It was pretty thick and layered. Bikanel was gonna be _hell_ for her. Suddenly having her in the party didn't seem so bad, I thought, resisting the urge to smirk. Harder than it sounds, trust me.

"Hm? Oh, the store manager gave it to me. I worked off the money to pay for it, though since I finished paying, I've saved up some money too." she said. "What about you?"

"Well, my first outfit got wrecked in Operation Mi'ihen." I said, wincing at the memory of waking up to seeing Luzzu's guts everywhere like that. "So I bought this getup at Djose Temple." I finished hastily. Shell was gonna ask what the problem was, but then she spotted Trent and went to act all gross and couple-like with him. Blegh. Rikku came over.

"Why didn't you save me from that?" I whined, slumping on the table. She smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, Kelle. I was a little busy trying to get some flash bombs." she explained, showing me aforementioned bombs and how to set one off. She'd bought ten of them, but gave me half to stash away.

"Cra'c cilr y pedlr." I muttered, glaring over at the lovebirds. (Translation: She's such a bitch.)

"Zaymuic silr?" Rikku teased quietly, so that Wakka didn't hear. (Translation: Jealous much?)

"Oayr. Uin vneatcreb ryc ymfyoc paah y velgma one yhofyo." I answered, just as quietly. (Translation: Yeah. Our friendship has always been a fickle one anyway.) "Pid E hajan druikrd cra fuimt nip ed eh so vyla mega dryd." I said quietly. (Translation: But I never thought she would rub it in my face like that.)

"Hud y jano kuut vneat eh so ubeheuh." she muttered. (Translation: Not a very good friend in my opinion.) I sighed.

"It's just how she is." I said quietly. Rikku looked unconvinced. I bought a camera from the counter, and then we left And then Wantz showed up, just as we were leaving, taking a photo of us all (Though mainly it was about getting a picture of 'Lady Yuna' for his brother to sell. I made a mental note to have a word with O'aka about that. I mean, any old pervert could be buying those photos to leer over, which is a really gross thought. Rikku and I had wandered from the group for a while, just talking about stuff. She was the only one who really offered me support on my whole 'My so-called best friend and my lifelong crush have been playing tonsil tennis behind my back for Bob-knows-how-long' crisis. No wonder he thought she was more _feminine_ than me. Can't get more feminine than that, can you?

"I can't _believe_ that guy! Saying we're unfeminine because he's not making out with us whenever he feels like it!" she ranted furiously. "I mean, how low can you get?" I smiled at her attempt to make me feel better, before we realised everyone was headed toward the lightning rod tower with the roof-thing attached to it.

"...Everyone, I've decided to marry." We both heard Yuna say quietly. Well, everyone in our group heard.

"I knew it," I heard Lulu sigh. I folded my arms across my chest.

"Be careful, okay, Yuna? You know I don't think he's right in the head." I said, ignoring Wakka's outraged gasp. She nodded, seemingly relieved that I wasn't hell-bent on stopping her. "Hey, it's your life. Your choices are your own."

"But – Grr..." Tidus was totally against it, _of course_. Him and Yuna are the only lovebirds I'll ever truly tolerate.

"We have to respect her decision. We aren't matchmakers." I told him, before turning back to Yuna. "Just don't let your guard down." I warned her. All Auron seemed to care about at that point was whether or not she continued her pilgrimage, and she reassured him that she was going to continue, even if she did get married.

"How can you be backing her on this?" Tidus, Rikku and Trent ended up dragging me off and yelling at me. I said nothing, working on dispatching fiends. Shell didn't know anything about this, though when I explained it was about her marrying a maester, she'd been pretty supportive on the basis that Yuna would live in luxury for the rest of her life if she wanted (I hadn't the heart to burst her little bubble by telling her what happened to a summoner when the Final Aeon was called). Trent hadn't been very happy about this rather shallow judgement. Maybe it made him feel inadequate.

"It's her life." I said simply. "Her decisions are her own. Besides, she'll be more hell-bent on doing it if we try to stop her." I shrugged. "But if he tries anything, I'll kill him."

"...You guys have been a bad influence on her." Trent said simply in reference to my threatening to kill a maester. I'd made plenty of violent threats before, but never had I made a threat to kill and actually meant it. And that was what scared him. Anyone could see I honestly meant it.

"Actually, I'm with her on this one." Rikku said loyally, once again making me question why she wasn't the best friend rather than Shell. "If he tries to hurt Yunie, I'll be with Kelle, trying to kill him."

"But we'd need a decoy for Anima." I said thoughtfully.

"Anima?" she asked, confused.

"His aeon. Seymour is a summoner, but Anima is his only aeon, and she's seriously strong." I explained.

"I've never heard of a fayth for an aeon called by that name." she said.

"Well, there has to be one." I said simply. "Otherwise where else could something that powerful have come from?"

"Good point." Rikku then ended up teaching Shell and myself how to steal. Shell because her sash had the Master Thief ability on it, and me because I wanted to learn how to do it. Lulu seemed unsettled by Yuna's sudden decision, I could tell, and Wakka was being an idiot and pissing her off, as per usual. It's like he enjoys being hit with her spells. I swear, that idiot is living proof that Yevon rots your brains.

"Hey, Shell... would you mind freezing that drake for me?" I asked her. She narrowed her eyes at me, but did so, enabling me to use Dope Line on it. It did a pretty good job of weakening it, but I decided to stick with the normal stuff and the Elementals.

"Why are you such a boy?" she sneered.

"Nothing wrong with being able to look after yourself." I shrugged lazily. "More to life than good looks, Shell." I said. "So stop obsessing over something you'll never have."

"Oh, and you can talk, you old hag!" she snapped. Everyone stopped and stared at her. I heard Wakka mutter something about a death wish.

"_What_ did you just say to me?" I asked her, in a dangerously calm manner, drawing my dagger and one of my zai.

"She-she didn't mean it, Kelle!" Trent stuttered, grabbing my arm and pulling me back. I glared at him.

"Take off your rose-tinted spectacles, Trent. Nobody's perfect. Not me, not you, and _definitely_ not her." I said coldly. "Don't let the fact that she's your booty call cloud your judgement." I hissed. He looked a little hurt, but he wasn't fooling me. I knew what her reputation was like, and what the majority of boys thought of her.

"I never said she was." he snapped. "But she doesn't stand a chance against you in a fight, and you know it. You want to be responsible for the death of your best friend?"

"Some best friend!" I spat at him. "You don't trust me anyway."

"Can't you ever just forgive and forget?" he asked, pulling me away from the others.

"Would you forgive me if I dated one of your friends and hid it from _you_?" I asked him honestly. He looked away. "Exactly. You wouldn't, because it _hurts_ when your so-called best friends don't even –"

"ALL RIGHT, I'M SORRY!" he yelled, his hands on my shoulders, just like this morning. He inhaled deeply, trying to regain his composure. "Shell told me not to tell you, because she said you'd be upset 'cause you've never had a boyfriend yourself." HUH?

"Wait, Shell told you I've never had a boyfriend before?" I asked, amazed at the audacity of her lie, before I laughed. "And you believed her? Trent, I'm not _dead_, you know. I _have_ dated, you know."

"When was this?" Is it me or is he peeved?

"I thought Shell told you. She told me to _not_ tell you because she would." I shrugged. "Guess I'm not the only one she's been lying to."

"But why would she lie?"

"Because it might have something to do with the fact that I got my first date before she did, and she's the older one." I said, smiling at the memory.

"Who asked you?" I looked up at him, noticing little furrow between his brows, which is a sign he's upset about something.

"Huh? Oh, it was Deki, this cute guy who lives a couple towns over..." I smiled. Deki had been nice. Because I didn't have a ton of money, he'd come down on the train to see me. But in the end, long distances kinda killed our relationship. But we'd kept in contact, writing to each other. "Really good kisser." I remembered, my smile widening slightly while Trent just stared at me in amazement. He's never actually seen me all loved up before, so it must have been an interesting experience for him, though his look turned sour when I remarked on the kissing.

"Right. Whatever. The others are gonna leave us behind." Suddenly I was being dragged along by a rather peeved Trent. I secretly wondered if telling him about Shell's tendency to lie was a good idea. It seemed to put him in one hell of a mood.

"Maybe I shouldn't have told you about her being a compulsive liar." I muttered. "Now you're mad at me."

"That's not what I'm mad about."

"Then what, exactly?" I asked, yanking on his arm to stop him.

"It's nothing." he said quietly, taking my hand and continuing to pull me along.

"It's _not_ just nothing, Trent. Tell me!" I yelled, frustrated beyond belief. "This is what I mean when I say you don't trust me!" He froze, turning to look at me.

"I do trust you, I just don't wanna talk about it." he said, not meeting my gaze. "Can you try and trust me by letting me have my privacy?"

"Oh, is it one of those couple things for Shell's ears only?" I asked, slightly offended.

"No. I'm not telling her, either, so could you not tell her what we talked about?" I nodded, watching his shoulders sag slightly with relief before he took my hand and we went to find the others.

"What were you talking about?" Shell asked frostily. Obviously she doesn't trust me to be alone with her boyfriend, thinking me some kind of boyfriend-thief. She often forgets how different we are.

"Nothing." We both said in unison, which really set her alarm bells ringing. It was pretty unwarranted, but she was suspicious. I secretly wished that I _had_ done something to deserve her suspicion. Would have been worth it.

"Really, now? You were just talking about nothing, were you?" she stepped forward, pulling him to her.

"I swear, babe, nothing happened." he murmured in her ear. That seemed to shut her up for now, while Rikku seemed to be cheering up, as we were nearing the end of the Plains.

"Hey, we're nearly out now!" I smiled at her. She grinned back, pointing at the slightly distant trees and running in that direction.

"I'll race you!"

"Hey, no fair!" I yelled, running after her. She beat me, but only just. I would have so beaten her if she hadn't had a head start. Not that she'd ever admit that.

* * *

**A/N****: Chapter eight is DONE! Sorry if it's shorter than usual. Review, I need feedback on this!**


	9. Macalania, Mac 'n Cheese

**Disclaimer****: I do not own ****_Final Fantasy_ or _The World Ends With You_. No matter how much I want to, because then I'd trade them for ownership of Allen Walker from DGM. I love him so much...**

**Socks: FANGIRL ALERT!**

**Authoress: I don't deny it. I will love Allen forever. And at least I'm not a Yullen fangirl. Blegh.**

**Socks: ...Agreed. I'm not one for watching fifteen year old boys get molested.**

**Allen: That's good to hear.**

**Authoress: Can I have a hug? -chocobo eyes-**

**Allen: O-okay... -hugs-**

**Socks: UGH. Seeing as how 0athk33p3r's... preoccupied right now, here's chapter 9.**

**Authoress: My life has meaning now... -clings to Allen-**

**Socks: Weirdo.**

**Authoress: I GOT REVIEWS! THREE _WHOLE_ REVIEWS! THANK YOU SO MUCH, I FEEL SO LOVED! Thank you, angelofdarknessfire, ShiningEmerald and Shaz! Also, big thanks to everyone who added me to their favourites/subscriptions, too.**

**Allen: I thought you just wanted a hug?**

**Authoress: B-but I'm lonely here with just _that_ for company! -points at Socks- He's worse than Rhode Kamelot!**

**Allen: -sighs- Okay, I'll stay...**

**Attack of the Sparklies and YAY WE KILLED THE WEIRDO**

"Slowpokes!" I heard Rikku laughing at Auron and Tidus.

I, however, was a little too focused on my surroundings. The trees were sooo pretty... I only really had time to admire them between fights.

...That is, until I cracked and ran off hugging the sparklies. Precious sparklies. I wants one. Trent just stared at me for a moment before sighing.

"You guys go on ahead, I'll get HyperGirl down from her tree." he said, waving everyone else off as I hissed at him furiously before putting up one hell of a struggle as he wrested the tree from my grasp.

...Meanie.

"Come _on_, Kelle! You don't want the others to have the fiends to themselves, do you?" he teased. I think he was just kidding, but heck, I wanted some fiends to kill, too! Can't let them have all the fun, can I now?

"...Fine." I grumbled. "But we're coming back once we're done in Bev – oop!" I covered my mouth with my hand, not wanting to give away spoilers to Trent.

"What was that?" he asked, curious.

"Nothing, forget I said anything!" I said, spotting a fiends and running over to take it out. Aw, did the guys leave that one for me? I'm touched.

"Come on, screw the spoilers! I won't tell anyone!" he whined.

"Ugh, fine. Seymour killed his father. We're gonna kill him in Macalania, get chased off by the Guado, fall into the lake and get transported to Bikanel Island by Sin." I said. "And that's all I'm saying for now." I said. "You can't tell anyone, if it does, we might not end up killing Sin for good." I said. "We have to keep it quiet." He sighed.

"Alright. But are you really okay with killing someone?" he asked.

"...If it were anyone else, I'd say no. But he... if we don't kill him, then the whole of Spira is in serious trouble." I said. "He plans to become Sin and 'heal' Spira by destroying it. So yes, I _am_ okay with killing him, and anyone who threatens Yuna's safety. We're guardians, we have to protect Yuna, even if it means killing or laying down your life." I looked up at him. "This is why I said you could leave if you wanted when we found Shell, so you wouldn't have to throw your life away along with mine." I said quietly.

"And I told you. I won't leave you by yourself." he said quietly. "Especially not if this Seymour character's as much of a lunatic as you say." I nodded. "Friends stick together."

"He makes me look tame." I said seriously. This set his alarm bells ringing. "Not to mention, that aeon of his... The one from Luca... It's a real pain in the ass to beat." I complained, running a hand through my bangs in exasperation. "And then there's the Spherimorph and the Crawler to deal with... Macalania's a real pain in general." I whined.

"So _that's_ why you made Shell and Rikku steal all those Lunar and Light Curtains." he said, folding his arms across his chest. "Good call." I walked a little faster as I felt my face heat up. "Hey, wait up!"

* * *

"Wait... It is here. Somewhere." We both heard Auron's voice, so picked up our pace and found the others watching Auron hack his way through a couple of trees. I sighed.

"Yay, fight time." I muttered. Trent sighed, knowing that one of the 'fearsome' enemies I'd told him about lay waiting ahead. I walked in through the arc Auron had carved out and smiled at the beauty of my surroundings.

"Wow..." I heard Trent gasp, looking around as the... girl... clinging to his arm made a similar sound of awe. Suddenly this place seemed less enjoyable.

"This place... it's just water, isn't it?" Tidus asked, walking forward to look around. I sighed.

"I wish." I whined.

"This is what spheres are made of." And then the damn Jelly-goop rose out of the spring. "Fiends are also attracted to these places." I shot Trent a look that said, 'Told ya so', to which he rolled his eyes, drawing his weapon in preparation for the oncoming fight.

"This thing switches elements when you attack it with its weakness." I called over. "So we need a volunteer to dish out physical attacks so me and Lulu can determine its weakness from the spells it counters with." Tidus raised his hand. "You sure?" I asked, smiling when he nodded. "Yuna, do you think you could...?" She nodded, casting Shell on him. It would lessen the damage to something bearable, at least.

And then it made one _fatal_ mistake. It set its sights on me, smushing me whenever it got a chance. It was currently weak to Fire magic (As a shivering, freezing cold Tidus with icicles hanging off his nose could testify), so I used up a shitload of mana, conjuring up the biggest fireball I could manage without passing out and lobbing it at the enemy before pulling back to drink an Elixir, being berated by Shell for using up my energy in a single attack like that. I didn't see what the big deal was. It wouldn't last much longer as a result of that fireball.

"Ugh, I hate these things." I grumbled, remembering what a bitch Gel-type fiends were in general, in both the games. Blegh. I grimaced at the thought, making a mental note to not EVER fight the Greater Sphere in the Monster Arena. Normally I enjoy kicking fiend ass, but this is an exception, along with the Wendigo that would be sicced on us after we killed Seymour.

"You say that like you've encountered one of these before." Yuna laughed. I stuck my tongue out, pouting as Lulu took it down with one last Water spell. Shell ran over and used magic to heal her up, surprising me slightly. She was actually not half bad at the whole healing thing. She'd been studying white magic since she'd arrived in Spira, so having Sparkle Charge was rather useful, it being a Cure Boost+ pin and all. A part of me wondered if the world was ending, what with Shell actually _studying_ and _paying attention_ to what she was doing. I silently hoped this wasn't one of her fads, that she wouldn't lose interest and forget all she'd learned after a short while, because even I, her harshest critic, could not deny that she was gifted with healing magic.

"What are you staring at?" Shell asked, tapping her foot from irritation.

"Hm? Oh, I was just hoping that this healing thing isn't just a fad on your part. You're not... abysmal at it." I admitted. And that was the best she was getting. "That and I don't wanna waste pins on someone who won't make good use of them, and having a backup healer is always useful." I said, subtly implying that I thought Yuna the better mage. Of course, any and all subtlety was lost on Shell; she's not the sharpest tool on the bench. That would be Lulu.

"Don't worry, it's not. This is actually rewarding." she said, rolling her eyes at my seemingly unnecessary concern.

"I'll hold you to that, you know." I told her. She grinned at me (Though it looked rather forced and unpleasant...) and held out her hand.

"Okay, then. If I lose interest in white magic by the end of this pilgrimage, I'll hand over all my gil and items to you, sans my weapon and armour." she said, grinning as I took her hand and shook on it. "And if you lose interest in black magic, you hand over all of your gil and items, sans your weapons and armour." Not gonna happen. I _enjoy_ black magic. It'll never get old. Lulu's been doing that for years and still enjoys setting Wakka on fire. I know, I watch her expression when she does it. You can _just_ see the amusement in the way her lips curve upwards ever so slightly and in her eyes. I wondered if I would look like that if ever the opportunity arose where I could set Shell on fire. That would be _fun_. It was a lot of work keeping my psycho-killer expression off of my face.

"Deal." I said, my composure slipping to give way to my psycho-killer face. This would be a cakewalk.

"Ahem." Auron cleared his throat to get everyone's attention before handing a sphere to Tidus. I recognised it as the one Jecht left for him. I sighed, looking around the spring. It really was a shame that this place would start to fade after we killed Sin, I thought as I watched the tree-gems shimmer in the light while everyone else watched the sphere with Tidus. Once it was done, Rikku came over and handed me a tear-shaped multi-coloured crystal of sorts, but for some unknown reason it broke into two wave-like halves.

"Oh, pretty..." I said, staring at the pieces as I held them up to the light and my eyes went all big. Rikku smiled.

"I figured you might like it! But, um... sorry it broke..." she said apologetically. I smiled back at her.

"How about you keep half, and I keep half? Sort of like a friendship charm." I said, examining the pieces. "I always liked arts and crafts, so I might be able to do something with these." I said, pocketing them. "There's an agency not too far from here where I might be able to get materials." I shrugged, pulling her along while she explained to me what the crystal was, exactly. They're called Tetra Crystals, and they give the bearer Omnistrike and Omnieater and boosts elemental magic. It's one of the best presents anyone ever gave me. When I told Rikku this, she beamed at me and said I was her best friend and that she hoped we'd be best buds for ever. Shell didn't seem too happy about that, but it's the truth. Rikku has never betrayed my trust in any way, shape or form. The whole thing with Trent was just the latest in a whole string of backstabbings on Shell's part. Trent, I could forgive. He actually _would_ have told me were it not for her lying to him about my love life.

"Ah, there it is!" Rikku said cheerfully, running with me to the door of the agency. She was pretty happy to be out of the cold, let me tell you. She dashed over to the fire to warm herself up, while I went to the counter and got some more leather cords and some silver to make the crystals into pendants. I've always been into arts and crafts, and did a workshop once. But I'm no expert, only an amateur, so it took me a _long_ time to get them right. Though I was pretty proud of my work when I was done. It was pretty late by the time I finished, so I just changed for bed, deciding to give Rikku her necklace in the morning.

* * *

"Food's ready! Buy at the counter!" My head snapped up at that first word, before dashing over to the counter to get food before everyone else. It was pretty damn tasty, some kind of drake meat, I'm told. Rikku still wasn't up yet, so I decided to browse through the non-combat items they had on offer. Namely jewellery. The diamonds that grew in Macalania were rare and expensive, but I ended up looking at some earrings with inset with said diamonds.

"How much?" I asked the clerk. She told me, so I counted my gil, sighing with relief as I just had enough for the earrings and some more hair products, along with the usual things I stocked up on. Those earrings did not come cheap, but they were beautiful, so I had to get them. I removed the earrings I was already wearing from the cartilage, replacing them with my new diamond ones. Then I got glomped.

"Morning, Kelle!" Rikku grinned at me. "Hey, nice earrings! They can't have come cheap!" I hastily shushed her, before pulling out one of the pendants I'd spent most of the night making and handing it to her. "You really weren't kidding!"

"Sorry it's not perfect, Ri... I'm only an amateur at the whole arts and crafts thing." I smiled, slightly embarrassed by my not-so brilliant workmanship.

"No, I love it! Thanks!" she said, hugging me before we put on our respective necklaces and grinned inanely at everyone around us, getting some weird looks as a result. Rikku ended up buying a truckload of grenades once again. She loves her explosives, I thought, before spotting the lovebirds at it _again_ and hiding out in my emo corner until we were ready to leave (And they weren't making out any more).

"N-no, wait... I'm not ready..." I whined, trying to go back into the Agency. Trent stopped me.

"Wendigo or Crawler?" he asked nervously.

"Crawler." I whimpered. "Damn Mana Beams and Gatling guns and assaults." I whimpered quietly, temporarily forgetting that Mana Beams weren't really a big deal for me, Trent and Shell. It was the others I had to worry about.

"Uh, you don't really need to be scared of the Mana Beam, remember? Auto-Shell is a godsend." he soothed me.

"The others _don't_ have Auto-Shell." I placed my hands on my hips, glaring up at him, still jealous over the... events of that morning. Not that he'd know that. "And for the record, I'm cranky because I have to fight four ugly bitch things today." Alongside a fifth, I refrained from adding.

"Ah. I was wondering about that." he confessed. I crossed my arms.

"Just so you know I'm not mad at you today." I said. "It's in your best interest to keep it that way."

"Y-yes, ma'am!"

"Hurry up, you guys!" Tidus called over his shoulder. I sighed, irritated at the interruption of the rare chance to actually speak with Trent alone without _her_ hanging off his arm or groping him in full view. I really don't need it rubbing in my face like that. I pulled a face at the thought. He noticed, though he had no idea what made me pull that face and so he quirked an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Hold your chocobos, will ya?" I muttered, dragging Trent over to the others just in time to see Yuna being hauled off by Tromell.

"Yuna!" Tidus yelled, before whistling at her. I guess that's his way of giving her support, because she cheered up.

"Yessir!" she called back, before turning to leave. I rolled my eyes.

"OH, NO!" Rikku cried, spotting Al Bhed ambushing Tromell and Yuna. I grabbed a lid from one of the nearby trash cans, using it as a snowboard to get to her faster, while hoping one of the Al Bhed got him where the sun don't shine for helping Seymour, like his karma, or something.

"Al Bhed!"

"NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!" I yelled over my shoulder as I passed the others, drawing my weapons along the way from behind my back so that Tromell wouldn't see. I didn't trust him an inch. "Hey, Yuna!" I said cheerfully, as though the evil Crawler-monster wasn't about to attack us.

"Um, hi." she seemed to think I'd gone crazy, though that look quickly disappeared when I lashed out at an Al Bhed who was trying to grab her.

"Rikku!" I heard Brother yell as the others joined us. Took 'em long enough... "_Don't interfere or you get this!_" he yelled, indicating the Creepy-Crawler. What am I, invisible? "_Your precious magic and aeons are sealed!_" he laughed, before retreating to a safe distance. Jerk.

"Oh, no!" Rikku gasped.

"Translation?" Tidus asked her.

"He's gonna use an anti-magic field on us!" she said, giving me a worried look. I sighed. I knew what this meant. Wakka, Shell, Trent, and I were the only ones with ranged weapons or psyches. Meaning I had to work alongside two of my least favourite people of all time.

"Lovely. Rikku, if we ever run into Brother, you won't hold it against me if I maim him for life?" I whined.

"Be my guest." she said darkly, evidently pissed with him as well, for herself as well as me and my current anger over Trent and... and _her_. "I'll help." I grinned at her. In spite of everyone's best efforts, I was rubbing off on her. I smirked evilly, using Excalibur to blast the Negator with a lightning bolt.

"Guess what, this ain't magic!" I cackled, alternating between throwing my shuriken and daggers, lightning bolts from Excalibur, and using Kaleidoscope to shoot burst rounds. Between that and Wakka's ball (Shell needs to work on her accuracy a little, and I knew she'd be bothering either me or Wakka later to help with it. Please let it be Wakka.), it died pretty quickly. Me and Lu grinned before hitting the Crawler with a double barrage of Thunder magic. I felt a little bad for using the element that freaked out Rikku, but it was worth it to get rid of that bucket of bolts. No pun intended.

"Stand back!" Yuna called, stepping forward to call out Ixion. I watched in awe as Ixion's Overdrive attack, Thor's Hammer dealt the finishing blow and nuked the evil Crawler. At this, I whooped.

"WE'RE ALIVE!" I cackled. "THE UGLY BITCH IS DOWN!" Brother burst my bubble. I'm starting to like him less by the minute.

"Rikku!" he yelled from _far_ away. "_I... I will tell father!_"

"_I'm the guardian of Yuna, you see? Me and Kelle will protect her, she's safe!_" Rikku yelled back. Brother suddenly looked confused.

"_Really? I don't see her, sister._"

"_I'm right here, you know!_" I yelled, shaking a fist.

"_Kelle? What the hell happened to your hair? Anyway, if you're guardians, you do it alone, girls!_" he yelled back, before leaving. Suddenly I was aware of the weird looks we were getting from Wakka. Ah, this is a real down point on a good day. I mean, we're killing Seymour, it's gotta be a good day, right?

"How come you speak Al Bhed? Why?" Wakka looked pretty peeved. Rikku hung her head.

"Because... I'm Al Bhed. And that... was my brother." she said guiltily. Wakka noticed the lack of reaction within our group. Guess he's not as dumb as he looks sometimes. Sometimes. "You knew?" he glared at everyone at their nods. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"We knew you'd be upset." Lulu said simply.

"And no, I only speak the language, before you say anything." I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Well, this is just great! I've been travelling with an Al Bhed, a heathen! And an Al Bhed speaker, which is hardly any better." he sneered at us. I was actually a little hurt.

"You're wrong, we have nothing against Yevon!" Rikku retaliated.

"But you Al Bhed use the forbidden machina!" Wakka spat. "Sin was born because people used machina!"

"Uh, no it wasn't. I came from a world with no Sin and lots of machina." I corrected him. "That there is a load of bullcrap." I told him. Rikku shot me an incredulous look.

"If-if we keep faith in Yevon's teachings it will be gone one day!" he said feebly. I snorted.

"Yeah, right. And I'm secretly in love with Wen Kinoc." I laughed. "I am an atheist, Wakka. And the clergy's a bunch of hypocrites, anyway! They use the same machina!"

"You're lying!" he spat at me. Auron butted in.

"Rikku!" he called over. "Will this move?"

"We're not riding that, are we?" I grinned at him and nodded. "Wait, Sir Auron isn't Al Bhed too, is he?"

"Actually, he's a former monk." I smirked at Wakka's utterly scandalised expression. He looked pretty peeved for a moment, and stormed off. Tidus made to go after him. "Let him cool off, man." I shrugged. He stared at me for a minute before Lulu nodded. I sighed. "The one time I try being helpful and people look at me like I've lost it." I muttered.

"Personally, I think you never had it to lose." Shell said, glaring at me. I could tell from her behaviour that she seemed to be trying to warn me away from 'her' Trent. I rolled my eyes at her.

"Same to you, Shell. And I'm not the one with a track record here. I only go after _single_ guys." I said. And I'm rather put off by the fact that you've had your grubby paws all over him. She glared at me for the track record remark. Hey, it's a valid criticism! She _has_ nabbed taken guys before. I just haven't said anything to the others because I'm being nice. How weird, I actually give a damn. Maybe because I don't wanna be known as the best friend of a... well, you get the idea. In the end, I got a bike to myself, and of course the _lovebirds_ had to share. Once again, blegh.

I am jealous, and proud of it.

* * *

"The likes of her are not welcome in this hallowed place." the door guy said coldly, glaring at Rikku. I felt the need to defend my new best friend.

"If you hadn't figured it out yet, genius, she wouldn't be with us if she weren't a guardian as well." I snapped at him.

"An Al Bhed, a guardian? Preposterous!" he looked kinda taken aback.

"Huh, so if you think it's absurd that an Al Bhed would be a guardian, how about a half Al Bhed summoner? Yuna's mom was Rikku's aunt." I said, knowing Wakka wasn't in earshot. The look on his face!

"...Fine. You win. But if anything happens, I'm holding you responsible." I smirked.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." I said cheerfully, happy that I'd be helping kill Maester Sicko soon. I spotted Tromell as we walked in, and decided to collect the Shell Targe. Even if I disliked SOS abilities, I could sell it later, I figured. Every little helps. I happily explored the temple (emptying chests along the way) until...

"Lord Jyscal!" a priestess staggered into the main hall and dropped to her knees. "A sphere, in Lady Yuna's belongings..."

"Should you have been going through Yuna's things?" I asked her coldly.

"I-I am sorry, Lady Guardian. It fell out, and..." she trailed off, nervous.

"You got curious." I finished. "Did you watch the whole thing?" I asked quietly. She nodded.

"Is it true?" she asked fearfully.

"Yeah. Some advice would be to leave this temple and never come back. The other maesters know, and if you're connected because of what you know..." I didn't have to say any more.

"W-what are you gonna do?" she asked.

"What must be done to protect Yuna." I said. "If he's a danger, I have no qualms about killing him, and I know he is. So if you see him again after this, know that he's unsent. Run for your life." I said. She nodded, running into a back room and coming out moments later with her things. She bade me goodbye and left just as Kimahri burst out of the back room and shoved the priest out of the way. "Finally, I thought that sphere would never end." I laughed, following after him.

* * *

"Seymour!"

"Please be silent. Lady Yuna prays to the fayth." Seymour said, not even turning to look at us as I drew my weapons.

"Make me!" Tidus snapped, just before Yuna came out. "Yuna!" he called. She seemed pretty shocked to see us.

"But why?"

"They saw the sphere." I said simply.

"You killed him." Auron said coldly, glaring at Seymour.

"What of it? Lady Yuna, surely you knew of these things, did you not?" he smiled faintly as she nodded. "Well then, why have you come here?"

"I came..." she turned to face him. "I came to stop you!"

"I see. You came to punish me, then." Ugh, that sounded so gross, the way he said it, and the way he looked at her when he said it... I was grateful it wasn't me he was looking at like that, I prolly woulda barfed. Wouldn't you have done the same, honestly?

"Prepare to meet your maker!" I said coldly, fending off an attack from one of his guardians. I had learned by now that psyches were unaffected by barriers, so I killed one with Dope Line and Tidus took out the other one as Yuna dispelled his Protect. I knew that once Seymour was half dead, he'd summon mommy. I momentarily wondered what made her aeon so butt ugly. Maybe because she was seriously ill before she became a fayth, and the sickness thing was reflected on the aeon? Who knows. I'm not asking. Even if she did give birth to that monstrosity, I still have respect for the (technically) dead.

"I knew you were bad news the first time we met!" I heard Tidus snarl at Sicko – err, I mean Seymour.

"Oh, my sincerest apologies." Sicko mocked him.

"Seymour!" Tidus looked soo mad. His attacks increased in frequency, hardly giving Sicko a chance before he was pushed away to make for Anima.

"Ah, wonderful." I muttered sarcastically. "He called on mommy dearest."

"Yuna! The new aeon!" Tidus yelled. Lulu gave him a 'look', before we retreated to a safe distance to let her summon Shiva. She used Heavenly Strike a few times, while Anima alternated between attacking with Pain and using Boost to up her overdrive. Lucky for us that Shiva got there first, nuking Anima with Diamond Dust.

So Anima bit the Dust. Okay, that was a bad joke and seriously uncalled for, but come _on_.

"That power that defeated Anima... it will be mine!" Seymour said, his greedy little eyes fixated on Yuna. Over my cold, dead body, mister.

"In your nightmares!" I snarled, launching myself at him while Yuna dispelled his barrier so Lulu could help nuke him with her magic. I laughed as his elemental spells only served to heal me. Thank you, Omnieater. My saviour. It didn't take very long for Tidus, Auron and I to dispatch him.

"Yuna... you would pity me now...?" he asked, looking up at Yuna before he died. She looked pretty shaken as she closed his eyes. Then the doors burst open.

"Lord Seymour!" Tromell ran over, examining his dead lord in Yuna's arms. I swear, he must have some freaky ass-kisser sixth sense or something. And then Tidus, the IDIOT, gave us away.

"Seymour struck first, he's the bad guy!" he said hastily, crying out in pain as I punched him.

"You-you did this?" Tromell looked horrified, to say the least. I almost felt bad for him. _Almost_.

"Yuna. Send him." Auron said quietly, retreating to a safe distance.

"No, STOP! Stay away from him, traitors!" Tromell snarled at us, ordering the two Guado he had with him to carry the corpse away.

"Traitors..." Yuna seemed pretty upset.

"Yuna, it was him or us." I told her gently, trying to calm her down. She looked up at me.

"I know, but I..." I sighed, before noticing Trent 'comforting' Shell. I think you can guess how. Those two have no shame. I gritted my teeth, wandering to the Life Sphere.

"You guys wait here. I'll do the Trials and yell when it's safe." I said, my voice shaking slightly out of anger. Hey, I'm only human. I can only take so much watching a guy I like sucking face with someone else. I made sure to get the Luck Sphere, as I didn't know if the Dark Aeons (And Penance. They're in the International and PAL versions of the game if you didn't know what I mean) would be summoned, and I _really_ didn't wanna risk it. They're a real pain in the ass, and it's not worth it, you know? "Okay, done now, let's get outta here!" I yelled, smiling as a rather irritated looking Shell came out, Trent in tow.

"You totally interrupted their make-out session just now, Kelle..." Rikku giggled quietly in my ear. I rolled my eyes as we walked out into a hall full of angry Guado, led by Tromell.

"You're not letting us go." Tidus stated, looking at them. Thank you, Captain Obvious.

"Let you go? Lord Seymour would never forgive us if we did..." I checked over my nails as the sphere was brought up and then destroyed in front of us. Kimahri pushed them out of the way and then we ran for it. A couple Guado managed to catch up to us and summon fiends, but we took care of them. I actually have this problem with fleeing. Meaning I was being dragged along by Trent and Tidus all the while screaming 'Lemme at 'em! Lemme at 'em!'. We ran down the Crevasse until we finally reached the Life Sphere. After an eternity of hacking up fiends even after we'd lost the Guado.

"So, that's all of them, right?" I heard Trent ask once he was done with the Sphere. I shook my head.

"There's a Wendigo up ahead." I said. "Then we fall in the lake." I grumbled, shivering at the thought of icy water. Trent also winced.

"Whatcha talking about?" Rikku asked, glomping me.

"We're whining about the cold." I deadpanned. She hummed in understanding. She did come from Bikanel, after all, so she wasn't used to freezing cold.

"Yeah... Kinda makes you wonder why they'd make summoners come all the way out here at all, doesn't it?" she said, pouting. I nodded in agreement.

"But Shiva is the ice aeon. I have a feeling it would be freezing cold even if it were in the middle of the desert, Ri." I said, pulling a face. "Why couldn't it have been Leviathan instead?" I complained.

"There's an aeon called Leviathan?"

"No, Leviathan's sort of a water monster, spirit thing. I prefer water over ice." I said lazily. She and Trent both nodded in agreement. Suddenly I got an idea.

"OHH EMM GEE IT'S THE PREEEEEEEEENCE!" I screamed, pointing over Shell's shoulder. She actually fell for it while Trent fell over laughing. He'd shown her the Prince on TWEWY (Though she hadn't played it), and ever since she found out that Spira was a 'video game world', she'd been curious as to whether or not the Prince was real... and if she could stalk him. Not that Trent knew about that last part. But damn, it was funny.

"Where, where?" she asked, looking around frantically.

"Sorry, trick of the light." I laughed as she sulked. Tidus, Rikku and Trent were all laughing their asses off. Of course, when it was finally my turn to use the Life Sphere, I hugged it. "I love you, healing thingy." Trent looked like he wanted to take photos.

"You love that more than any person?" he asked, thoroughly amused.

"Hell no, I love you guys best!" I said, hugging Rikku in the process. Trent looked mildly sceptical, but accepted my answer.

"Glad to hear it. Otherwise you'd be REALLY screwed up." he chuckled. My eyes narrowed.

"So I'm _already_ messed up, you say?" I asked dangerously, only really doing it for the lulz.

"N-no, I didn't mean it like that!" he stuttered. I stormed of faux angrily. "No, wait, I'm sorryyyyyy!" And of course, I was now ready to fight the ugly mofo. No, I don't mean Seymour. The other one. But it was still an ugly bitch with Guado Guardians helping it, so it's not much difference, really. It roared at me, getting ready to attack. I glared at it before stealing the Guado Guardians' items. The others arrived moments later, realising that there was still danger.

"Yuna, you should cast Protect. That thing looks seriously strong." I said. She nodded and started casting. So did Shell. They supported us with white magic while Lulu continued casting spell after spell and me, Rikku and the guys attacked it. Well, Rikku stole things and tossed bombs at it, which was still really helpful. Yuna Grand Summoned Ifrit, so it took them all out at once. In its death throes, the Wendigo pounded the ice, and suddenly we were falling.

I passed out halfway down.

* * *

I woke up wet and cold and unpleasant. Grumbling all the while, I checked my things were intact before getting up to check on the others. I watched Auron and Tidus talk for a while, noticing when the singing stopped.

"Took you long enough, old man. I don't have all day." I muttered, smiling faintly.

"Sin!"

"The toxin! Watch out!" Lulu warned us. Little late for that.

Stupid Sin and its stupid toxins.

* * *

**A/N****: Yay, he's dead! Okay that was a little mean, but I hate Seymour. Review if you want cybersporks and cybercookie-noms!**

**5500 words... I'm exhausted...**


	10. Bikanel: The End of Home

**Disclaimer****: Me no ownie. I owns copies of games, no more, no less. -cries-**

**Allen: There, there... -pats-**

**Authoress: -chocobo eyes- You stayed!**

**Socks: -tied up by Allen- I hate you both.**

**Allen: -smiles- How about a nice game of poker? If you win, I'll let you go... -evil aura-**

**Socks: And if you win?**

**Allen: Then you'll be sucking kitty food through a straw! Mwahahaha!**

**Socks: ...You're on.**

**Authoress: -huggles Allen and sits down to watch oncoming carnage- Enjoy chapter 10! Go Allen! BTW, thank you for so many reviews, Shaz! You're so kind to this crazy Authoress... :)**

**The End of Home**

"Ooh, my head..." I complained, sitting up. I was suddenly aware of the fact that it was boiling. I took off my jacket and zip up top, leaving my short vest as is and stuffing the discarded articles of clothing in my bag. I also zipped off my pant legs and shoved them in my bag also, and took the metal hair clasp out of my hair (otherwise I'd stink of burned hair by the time we reached Home), leaving in the leather hair tie. I looked around, spotting Rikku passed out nearby. We were both in the same spot, which was a relief. I got up and affectionately kicked Rikku awake.

"Gah, hey, quit it!" she whined, sitting up. I laughed.

"Recognise where we are yet, Ri?" I asked, smiling as I gestured to our surroundings. She gasped, nodding. "Welcome Home." I patted her shoulder when she smiled at me.

"How'd you know?" I just smiled enigmatically when she asked that, looking off to the direction where I knew Tidus and the others would come from, sitting in the shade and nomming my Guado snacks until I spotted the others. Took 'em long enough. I was starting to wish I'd brought a book along once I'd finished using water magic to refill my water bottles.

"Hey, blondie!" I yelled, waving at Tidus. I said nothing to the lovebirds, who were actually acting like lovebirds and making us all feel ill in the process. Blondie, however, gave me a noogie.

"Who are you calling blondie, huh?" he laughed. "I'm not the only blonde in our group, y'know!"

"Rikku is Rikku, and Tidus is blondie!" I giggled, pushing him off.

"Whoa..." My head snapped up to see Trent staring at me in a manner I rather enjoyed. "Uh, where'd you get that getup?" he asked, slightly embarrassed he'd been caught out when Shell slapped him.

"I was wearing the vest under my other stuff, and the pants zip off." I explained, rolling my eyes. "So I stripped, basically." I said, smirking when he blushed. Maybe I should wear flattering clothes more often...

"W-whatever... Anybody know where we are?" he asked, evidently forgetting that I had told him where we'd end up after Sin attacked. I rolled my eyes.

"We're on Bikanel Island. There's a place us Al Bhed call Home near here. I will take you there, but you have to promise to keep it quiet, okay?" Rikku said, nervously glancing at Wakka. "Especially no Yevonites. If they found out, who knows what might happen!" she panicked.

"Hmph. Why so worried anyway?" Wakka asked rudely. I glared at him as Rikku answered him.

"Yevon did something really bad to us before..." she trailed off sadly.

"Yeah, well, you Al Bhed musta deserved it!" I slapped him.

"Nobody deserves to have their home taken away, you creep." I snapped. "Or is it a crime now to want a place to lay your head at night?" Wakka glared at me and turned away, while Rikku shot me a grateful look.

"Anyway, Yunie's there, I'm sure of it! Other Al Bhed must have come and rescued her!" she said, cheering up at the thought of being reunited with her cousin.

"You mean kidnapped!" Wakka rounded on her again. He shut up though when I drew one of my zai.

"We're going. Any objections, you stay behind and die of thirst." I said coldly, not wanting to show him any mercy. I really hate racists. Wakka looked ready to protest, but Lulu shut him up with a glare.

* * *

"So hot..." I whined quietly, watching Rikku chew Tidus out for asking "Are we there, yet?" for the millionth time. We were all getting sick of hearing him gripe and nag and whine.

"You heard her, blondie. Stop whining." I grinned. I was in a good mood, watching Shell suffering in her thick, layered one piece. And her hair was clinging to her in a manner that looked rather uncomfortable. I had neglected to offer or even tell her about my spare leather hair ties. She looked and smelled _really_ bad. Even Trent was keeping his distance. As were the fiends, so she was useful for something at least.

Not that she did _ask_ me for any spare hair ties I had... I just lied and told her I only had the one I was wearing. I consider it payback for stealing my lifelong crush, along with every snide remark she's ever made about me/my hobbies/fashion sense, etc.. I sighed as she asked me again for what must have been the fiftieth time.

"I already said no, Shell. It hasn't changed in the last three minutes." I said. "That's the fiftieth time you've asked, anyway." I grumbled.

"I think it's the fifty-first." I heard Trent say, glaring at her reproachfully. He looked pretty fed up of listening to her whine by now.

"You're keeping count?" I asked, amused. I had no idea he paid such attention to detail. Or maybe he's just really bored.

"I tend to do that when I'm sick of something. Is she always this bad when it comes to her hair?" he looked scared, too, when he muttered this in my ear. I giggled.

"Now you see what I have to put up with." I grumbled some more.

"I suddenly have this massive appreciation for you and your couldn't-care-less attitude." he said, grinning at me as I handed him a bottle of water.

"Ah, hold up." I said, running off to collect the Mercury Crest. "Ta da! For you, milady!" I laughed, handing it to Rikku, who grinned at me.

"What's that?" Trent asked lowly.

"It's something for her legendary weapon." I answered quietly. "Having played this game, I know what to do with it and where the actual weapon is." I added.

"Right... so everyone in the original party gets one?" he asked, smiling faintly at my nod.

"But we won't be able to obtain them for a long while yet." I told him. "You need a certain item to obtain them, and that item's in the Calm Lands." I explained. He sighed, exasperated.

"As long as we can get them before we fight Sin."

"We will, don't worry." I assured him. He grunted and muttered something along the lines of 'Good,' before walking off ahead. "Hey... Rikku... I'm bored... Let's talk about something." I said, walking over to my buddy. "Ugh... This is gonna be a bad day..." I said, grimacing.

"How come? The sun is shining, and everyone's smiling! We'll find Yunie and everything'll be A-OK!" she grinned at me. I wished I had her optimism, and that I was also blissfully unaware of the horrible events that were to come that day. I smiled sadly.

"I hope you're right." I said quietly. Somehow, it sounded like 'I wish you were right.' to my ears. I looked up at the sky. Rikku noticed, and seemed bent on cheering me up.

"Anyway, once this is all over with, what're you gonna do?" she asked eagerly.

"What, the pilgrimage and everything?" I asked. She grinned and nodded. "I dunno. Maybe I'll fiend hunt for a living, or something. I'll have... freedom, I guess." I said, continuing to gaze at the sky. At her questioning look, I added, "Where we come from, you're never really free. There's all these expectations, right from when you're small. Get into a good school, do well in school, get a good job in an office or something equally boring and slog your guts out until you retire, by which time you can't be as active as you would have liked. Have a family with 'perfect children' and a wonderful husband. It's no surprise people go crazy." I said. She looked pretty shocked. "Here, I don't have to worry so much... Life, while harder in many ways, is so much simpler here." I explained.

"Life in your world sounds... ugh. I can see why you like it better here." she said.

"Don't get me wrong, there's good stuff, too... It's just not what I like. The talented few can become famous singing, or acting in movies and stuff. Or as fashion designers like Shell wants to be, though it seems kinda rare that everyone gets to do what they want in life." I told her. "'Sides, kicking fiend butt for a living would be awesome. I'd basically be paid for having fun!" I laughed. She smiled.

"I might join you." she said. "But... what if you end up going back to your world?"

"Well... I'd probably get a job tinkering with computers." I admitted. I smiled faintly. "I guess I've always been a techie, ever since I first got to play around on a computer." she stared at me. I grinned. "Wakka the idiot would be saying, since I like playing with machina, I _must_ be Al Bhed." I laughed. She laughed, too.

"Yeah... I don't get why they hate it so much." she said simply, shoving her hands in her pouches.

"Specially since they use it themselves in Bevelle." I said. "I wasn't just saying it out of spite before. Ask Auron if you don't believe me. The guards have machina weapons, and there's machina in the _temple_." I said.

"No way! Are you serious?" she asked, lowering her voice when everyone stared.

"You'll see when we go there." I said. "But I hope I can get my hands on one of them guns. I want one to blast fiends with." I grinned evilly, mimicking shooting a rifle.

"But fighting for a living... you'd have to do a lot of it." Shell interjected. Is that concern I see?

"Not if you know the drop rate like I do!" I smirked. "The mimics in the Omega Ruins drop 50K a pop." I said. "And combine that with Gillionaire..." My grin once again widened to Cheshire Cat proportions.

"The Omega Ruins?" Rikku asked.

"Where Yevon tossed the traitor Omega 700 years ago. He's still there. His hate spawned an extra fiend aside from his own. So if we go there, we fight the Ultima Weapon and the Omega Weapon." I told her.

"How did you know that?" Lulu asked, amazed that I knew such a thing. I smiled enigmatically.

"I have my ways." I said cheerfully. "But, seriously. You can get some crazy-good items there for weapon customization." I said. "And lotsa gil." She looked at me like I was crazy. I giggled and continued walking.

"But wouldn't that be dangerous?" she asked, panicking.

"Well, you're assuming that I intend to go there without training first. I think, if I can make it to Zanarkand with you guys and take on the fiends there no problem, maybe I'll take a shot at them Mimics." I said, thinking it over as I remembered how crazy-tough the damn things were when you had a low-level party. "Not to mention Kimahri can learn a new Overdrive in the Omega fight called Nova." I said, shrugging. "It's the most powerful attack I've heard of that a blue mage can learn." I said, smiling faintly. It also had a really awesome sequence, but that's beside the point.

"A blue mage?" Rikku asked. She's more of a thief than a mage, remember.

"Blue magic is learning the abilities of your enemies. That's what Kimahri's Overdrive is." I explained. She nodded, understanding before dismantling a piece of machina that impeded us. I sighed. This desert was waaay bigger than it was in the game. It only took, what, an hour for me to get through it on PS2? Trust me, in 'reality', it takes waaay longer than a few measly hours to reach Home from where Rikku is. Squeenix must have been feeling merciful that day. Who knew?

"Damn you, Squeenix, for making it look easier than it really is!" I whined, shaking a fist at the sky like a lunatic.

"Who's Squeenix?" Rikku asked, deeply amused. Trent sighed, though he seemed to agree.

"They made the Final Fantasy series. I'm guessing they toned down the sheer size, am I wrong in saying?" he asked, gently poking my ribs. I sighed.

"Yeah... it only took me an hour ingame." I said sadly. "And yet we've been out here getting cooked for hours! At least there isn't a lot of humidity in the desert, or this would be a sticky nightmare for us all." I said, brightening up slightly. Then again, Shell does bad in heat regardless of humidity, which made me actually like the desert. I grinned like a maniac, cheered up by the sight. She looked even worse than she had ten minutes ago. I was getting a little hot, too, so I started using Blizzard magic to cool myself down. It took a few attempts to get it right, but the heat wasn't too bad for me and Lulu because of it.

"Shut up smirking." Shell hissed furiously. That only made my grin wider.

"But you look like crap, and the irony is hilarious." I said, hiding behind Trent (Who still wouldn't go near her because of the smell.) when she glared. She really did look scary, like some kind of bog monster. "T-Trent, do you think you could stop the bog monster from killing me today?" I asked innocently, blinking up at him. He pushed me away, looking embarrassed. Still got it.

"Who are you calling a bog monster?" Shell screeched at me, pulling out the Vortex. Ow. My poor ears. She lobbed it at me, though it missed by miles.

"Uh, hey... is that smoke up ahead I see?" I asked, pointing over a nearby dune. Rikku seemed worried by this, and ran to the top of the dune. She screamed, running down the other side, into Home.

"Keyakku!" When we caught up to her, she was holding the unfortunate Keyakku. "Who? Who's attacking us?" she asked, before saying in Al Bhed: "_Who did this to you?_"

"Yevon... Guado..." he managed to rasp, before dying in front of her.

"A war between Yevon and the Al Bhed?" Lulu asked no one. Then Cid came along, checking Keyakku for signs of life. He found none.

"_That is wrong!_" he said, his voice rough.

"Vydran..." Rikku said sadly.

"Who...?" Tidus trailed off, trying to not get distracted by the surrounding carnage.

"Cid. Leader of the Al Bhed... he's my dad." she admitted.

"You Rikku's friends? Well, don't just stand there! Let's kick those Guado out of our Home!" Cid said to us, before walking inside the building. We followed. Tidus ran into the middle of the room.

"Yuna, where are you?" he yelled. Then a fiend dropped down on top of us.

"Great job, numbskull, draw their attention!" I snapped as I drew my weapons. Shell screamed at the Bombs. Either she was scared by its appearance, or the fact that it gave off yet more heat. "Don't be so pathetic, Shell! If you can't stand the heat..." she glared, readying her Vortex. She still missed more often than not, but she did manage to get in a few hits because the Bombs are such big targets and so they're easy to hit. I took out the Guado, showing no mercy. Though, the first time she hit the Bomb, she was baffled by the fact that it got bigger. I had to explain that they exploded if you hit them three times without killing them. And she said playing video games would never come in handy. Now who's laughing?

"Damn know-it-all gaming freak..." she muttered. I 'accidentally' whacked her upside the head for that one. "OW!"

"This gaming freak is probably the only reason you're alive right now." I snapped, while Tidus was in freak-out-find-Yuna mode. I really need to find the instruction manual and read it some time. It might tell me why he malfunctions all the time... "And, Tidus, quit whining. We'll find her eventually and everything will be fine." I grumbled at him.

"This is terrible..." Rikku, I mentally face-palmed myself for forgetting that Home was going boom-boom today.

"You two, quit bickering!" Auron snapped, as Shell opened her mouth to retaliate against what I said, probably with some dumb-ass excuse anyway.

"Sir, yes, sir!" I mock saluted before following Rikku into the next room.

"Brats."

"_Rikku, you read me? I am levelling Home! And the fiends with it!_" Cid's voice blared out the speakers.

"What'd he say?" Wakka asked me and Rikku.

"We have to get underground!" Rikku said.

"Where's Yuna?" Yep, I definitely need an instruction manual for him, I think someone broke him on the way here. Most likely Lulu got him with her magic, or Shell's BO did it. One of the two.

"The Summoner's Sanctum! This way!" Rikku said, though a pair of Dual Horns and a Guado Guardian came up behind her.

"Rikku, watch out, there's Dual Horns!" I yelled, pointing behind her. She ran over, and we got ready to fight. I took out the Guardian with Tidus while everyone else killed the Ruminants (That's actually the type of fiend they are, for those of you who didn't know.) Once they were good and dead, I wandered into the side rooms to collect the Skill and Special Spheres, along with the Al Bhed Primers (Even though I didn't need them, Tidus was studying Al Bhed, wasn't he?) before catching up with the others.

"What took you so long, ya?" Wakka snapped at me as I healed at the Life Sphere (Everyone had stopped there for a couple of minutes to recuperate).

"These." I said, showing off my findings. "It'd be a waste to leave them here where they can't benefit anyone." I said, tossing Tidus the Primer. "Everybody healed and good to fight?" I asked, smiling when everyone nodded. "Good, 'cause there's three Protochimeras in the next room." I said simply, walking past them to see the aforementioned Protochimeras and their Guado Guardian buddy.

* * *

**One battle with Protochimeras and a Guado Guardian later...**

"That was surprisingly easier than I thought." I said, mildly shocked at how easy it was, even compared to the game.

"Why? Was it tough you-know-when?" Trent asked, mildly surprised.

"I used up all my items on the other battles the first time..." I said, whipping out a hankie and dabbing at my 'tears'. Trent twitched, looking at me like the world had turned on its head. "Anyway, how are your pins coming along? You master them yet?" I asked curiously. Shell didn't use hers much (Except for Sparkle Charge, obviously...)

"Well, I mastered First Gear, because I really enjoy teleporting..." he smirked, teleporting behind me once he said that. "And Yoshimitsu. I haven't made any progress with Patrol Rounds because my aim sucks. You were always the one with the freaky aim, lobbing things at me all the time when we were kids..." he then crouched down and sobbed in his emo corner of doom, lost in the traumatic memories I'd given him when we were little. Ah, good times.

"Rikku, what is the Summoner's Sanctum?" I heard Lulu ask with my 'freaky-ass' (as Shell likes to put it) hearing.

"The Summoner's Sanctum is where we keep the summoners. We keep them safe there." Rikku said, in a tone really doesn't suit her. Too monotonous.

"You kidnapped them." Wakka stated. I think this is the first time in a proper conversation that Wakka has spoken to Rikku in such a civilised manner since finding out she was Al Bhed. Not that he's that civilised to start with, but all the same... Gotta give the gorilla credit for trying, don't we?

"I know it's against the teachings and all..." Screw the teachings, Rikku, you Al Bhed have the right idea! If I didn't know Yuna survives her pilgrimage, I'd be helping with the whole kidnapping summoners dealie. And here she was, trying to make Wakka and any other Yevonites not get mad at her. Well screw them, too!

"I get why you did it, but..." Oh, my Gods... Maybe there IS a brain in there! I'm almost in shock.

"Well, I sure don't get it, Wakka!" Tidus said, levelling a glare at Rikku. I realised Trent and Shell were backing him up, so I rushed to Rikku's side. It has nothing to do with _that_, for once. Three on one is totally unfair. "They might get hurt on their pilgrimages, so you _kidnap_ them? I can see why you worry, Rikku, but if we guardians do our job well, summoners will be safe! Right?" He looked around at us, though no one answered him. "RIGHT?"

"Uhm, right!" Shell said, oblivious as ever. Though other than that, silence.

"It's quiet. Kimahri goes now." I decided to follow him, not liking the awkward silence. He looked at me questioningly.

"I hate awkward silences, Kimahri." I admitted. He nodded in understanding.

"Kimahri also hate bad silences." he said quietly. "So Kelle knows about pilgrimage?" he asked. I nodded.

"I do, but the others don't. I might be cruel sometimes, but that's not something I wanna admit out loud." I said, my voice equally quiet. We reached the door to the Sanctum, and there we waited for the others to reach us.

* * *

**The Summoner's Sanctum**

"Yuna, please be here!" Rikku yelled. She sounded like she was begging. She dropped to her knees when she saw the dead Al Bhed guys.

"YUNA!" Kimahri also yelled.

"She's not here." Dona said, interrupting the little drama moment.

"They died... protecting us." Isaaru said, sounding somewhat... guilty. "The least we can do is give them a proper sending." That's actually very kind if you ask me. It's not like they have to do it.

"Hey, um, what's 'sacrificed'? The Al Bhed said summoners were being 'sacrificed'." Pacce asked us. Sometimes I wish I was a kid again like him and I didn't know the truth of what happens to summoners in Zanarkand. I wonder if Auron ever feels that way. I sighed sadly.

"The Al Bhed had no right stopping the pilgrimage." Tidus said furiously. That did it.

"The pilgrimages have to stop!" Rikku yelled. I was at her side, backing her up. The other summoners shouldn't have to do anything stupid when we were gonna kill Sin for good. Well, not that they know that. "If they don't, and they get to Zanarkand... They might get the Final Aeon... Yunie could, but then she... Yunie will _die_, you know?" she yelled that last part, evidently she didn't want to say it out loud, but it was fairly obvious to anyone with a brain that he didn't know. Trent and _her_ don't count.

"Rikku..." I said. She had more courage than I ever will. I placed my hand on her shoulder.

"What are you saying?" Trent and Tidus both yelled.

"Yuna told you, didn't she? Summoners journey to get the Final Aeon. But then, if she calls it, then the Final Aeon's gonna kill her!" she cried, falling to her knees.

"Was I... the only one who didn't know?" Tidus asked quietly. I nodded sadly.

"You and those two." I said, tilting my head in Trent and Shell's general direction.

"So you knew?" Shell asked murderously. "This is a new low, even for you! Helping her kill herself? That's assisted suicide, you moron! Back home you'd get tossed in jail for that!"

"Tell me why! Why were you hiding it, why didn't I know?" Tidus was shaking Rikku roughly, so I kicked him off of her.

"How could we say something like that? Even I have trouble dealing with it, even Lulu!" I snapped at him. "You think we don't care? Of course we care, that's why we could never say it!" I yelled. Tidus let out a scream of anguish, before turning on everyone else.

"Lulu, how could you? How could you? Isn't she like a sister to you?" he screamed. "Why don't you do something, Wakka?"

"Don't you think we tried to stop her? She follows... her heart." Lulu told him sadly. Her voice broke slightly at the end of that sentence.

"Yuna, she knew, when she chose to become a summoner. To face Sin, ya? Yuna knew!" Wakka said, his fist clenched out of tension.

"But Wakka, that's just totally wrong! Summoners shouldn't have to sacrifice themselves, just so the rest of Spira can be happy, right?" Rikku asked. You could see she was desperate for someone to agree, so maybe she can stop Yuna from dying.

"But... that is our choice." Isaaru said.

"We all live in fear of Sin, you know that." Dona said, almost as though she were explaining it to a small child. Well, I'll be. There is some good in her, after all.

"A world without Sin... That is the dream of all Yevon's children. If we have the power to make that a reality, even for a little while, then we will use that power even if it means our lives!" Isaaru said seriously. I nodded in understanding. Tidus screamed and ran over to Valefor, beating the aeon with his fists. She didn't fight back, seemingly saddened by the fact that summoners died on pilgrimages just as much as the rest of us. In a way, that was comforting.

"Kelle... What are we gonna do?" Rikku asked, looking up at me. She knew full well I didn't agree with Yevon's bullcrap, I'd told her myself.

"Maybe she'll change her mind once we hit the Calm Lands. I hear many summoners give up there and quit their pilgrimages." I said quietly, so the others couldn't hear. Except maybe Kimahri, but he's not a blabbermouth. He's as trustworthy as they come. Rikku nodded.

"Y-yeah... I hope so, for Yunie's sake..." she said as I helped her up. She was weak from crying.

"I can't let her die!" Tidus hauled himself to his feet, and, as if on cue, the aeons and fiends were suddenly gone. I sighed, following the others to the ship.

* * *

**The bridge...**

"SHIBBY!" I yelled happily when I ran onto the bridge. **(A/N: Yes, I _have_ been watching Dude, Where's My Car? lately.)** "Well, excuse _me_ for trying to stay optimistic." I snapped at all the crazy looks they gave me.

"_Everybody on board?_" Cid snapped at his crew.

"_Everybody alive._" the guy replied. I stopped listening then, noticing Trent and Shell making out next to Kimahri (Who didn't seem too happy about it, let me tell you...) I resisted the strong urge to throw up everywhere. I doubted Cid would appreciate it if I covered the bridge of his shiny old-new airship in my puke. Maybe it's because of my secret crush on Trent, or my not-so-secret dislike-slash-hate towards Shell, but I hate it when they do anything remotely couple-like. So the kissing was horrible for me. Lulu was keeping an eye on me to make sure I didn't act on my homicidal urges.

"For crying out loud, you two! This is not the time to be shoving your tongues down each others' throats!" I snapped at them. They jerked apart instantly, not wanting to face my wrath if they _dared_ do otherwise. "I can't take you two anywhere!" I yelled furiously, sick of being the third wheel. "Don't expect me to save your sorry asses the next time a fiend shows up, you can fend for yourselves now, I give up trying to give a damn!" I hissed before turning and leaving. I wandered up on the deck, watching miserably as the homing missiles destroyed Home, walking back inside before I got fried and waiting for it to cool down before I went back outside. I was still steamed about everything. Not only did that evil witch steal my first crush, she took away his morals, too.

The Trent _I_ knew wouldn't be making out with some floozy when something so horrible was happening right under his nose. Never. I heard the door open, and approaching footsteps.

"Hey." Speak of the devil. "Um, look... I'm sorry about earlier. You were right, it wasn't the time." he said quietly, sitting next to me.

"...Shibby." I grumbled under my breath, not wanting to forgive him. I wanted to hate him for picking her, even though I had no right to do that. He handed me a big chocolate bar.

"Peace offering?" Damn that smile of his. Turns me to mush. "Sorry about everything. I know you probably hate us for treating you like a third wheel. Friends again?"

"Ugh, fine... But you're getting a taste of your own medicine when I find someone to shack up with when this is all over." I warned him. He chuckled and nodded, smiling as he gazed at the sky. Suddenly he stopped and frowned.

"Hey, Kelle... Can I ask you something?" he asked softly, his brow furrowing. That expression didn't suit him, I thought.

"You just did, Mr. Serious." I smiled, before nodding. "Sure, what's wrong?" I asked.

"It's just... Shell wasn't happy, you know." he murmured. Oh, great.

"What about?" I wondered why it was getting to him so much, to be honest. Maybe it's the dating thing.

"Two things, really. First when your hair turned white – it looks good on you, by the way – and just now when I said I was gonna look for you and talk to you. She's getting kinda..." he grimaced, seemingly trying to think of a word that didn't sound insulting (Not that I would have been bothered; quite the opposite, to be perfectly honest).

"Possessive? Or is it clingy this time?" I laughed, realising what he was getting at. I've known her previous boyfriends. It's sort of a recurring thing, her being clingy.

"H-how did you know that?" he stuttered at my freakish ability to know these things. I giggled playfully.

"Come _on_, Trent. I've seen her with other boyfriends in the past. You wouldn't believe how many guys ran in fear because of it." I laughed at the pleasant memory.

_Flashback_

"_That bitch is crazy!" Shell's latest boyfriend was running out her front door. I smirked as the aforementioned door opened and Shell staggered out._

"_Don't leave me! I LOVE YOU!" she screamed._

"_I'm out of here, you're nuts!" he yelled, running off down the street._

_"Am I interrupting something, Shell?" I asked over-politely._

"_Shut up, Kelle!"_

_My grin stretched wider._

_/Flashback_

"Hellooo, Kelle? Anybody home?" Trent was waving his hand in front of my face.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was having a flashback." I said. Don't you just love Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka? Trent rolled his eyes at my habit. "Anyway, which was it, possessive or clingy?"

"...Clingy." he muttered grudgingly.

"As in she gets bitchy if she's away from you for three minutes or more?" I asked, deeply amused. "I'm right, aren't I? That's the kind of clingy she is this time round." I grinned.

"Are there that many types of clingy?" he asked, slightly disturbed.

"There are with her, trust me. I've seen her with other boyfriends before." I nodded knowledgeably. "As for me, I like my space in a relationship, which is why me and Deki worked out so well..." I said. At his confused expression, I elaborated. "It was a distance relationship. Remember that he lived a couple of towns away from me." I said. "He'd come down on the train and –" I was cut off by a jolt from under us.

"Was that turbulence?" Trent asked, slightly freaked.

"Nah. Some Guado snuck on board at Home. They must have started summoning fiends." I shrugged.

"You scare me sometimes." he replied, though he was smiling.

"Don't you just love it?" I smirked, shoving him playfully. He shoved me back.

"I don't think so, Kellie." Ah, I was wondering how long it would take for the bitch to show up. "Come back inside, Trentie-poo... I missed you while you were gone!" she pouted (UGH), grabbing his arm and dragging him back inside. After a few minutes, I went inside too so I could vent my mood on some unsuspecting fiends. Heh.

* * *

**The next morning...**

BANG!

You know how clearing out the fiends only takes a few hours in the game? Don't be fooled, it takes much longer. I just got out of bed, and I had to kill a fiend the moment I stepped out of my cabin! A WHOLE FREAKING NIGHT LATER. That's twelve hours for those of you who can't count, and the ship was still infested with fiends. And the extra weight was slowing us down.

I should have seen it as the bad omen that it MUST have been. A harbinger of the horror awaiting me on the bridge.

"Morning, Kellie!" Shell called from where she was sat down. She had a smug expression on her face and was clinging to 'Trentie-poo' worse than ever. That alone was enough to tell me something was wrong.

"Your happy glow, it's blinding." I said, pretending to shield myself as I walked to talk to Brother. "_How long till Bevelle?_" I asked casually.

"_A couple more days, I'm afraid..._" he sighed. Apparently Brother's crush on Yuna comes from seeing her trying on her wedding dress on the sphere-oscillo finder (Weddings don't last two days, it only shows her at the actual wedding in the game). It was love at first sight for the poor little weirdo. I refrained from insulting him about it, because he's the one that pilots the ship. No reason for him to deliberately crash and kill us all. I walked back over to talk to Rikku, my back to the lovebirds.

"Kellie, aren't you gonna ask what happened last night to make me so happy?" NO. OH, HELL NO. HIS VIRGINITY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE _MINE_, DAMMIT! I twitched, my face (according to Rikku) turning a nasty shade of green. I was lucky _they_ couldn't see my face, because it probably screamed that I wanted to kill someone in a very messy, painful and violent way. Which would be the correct interpretation of my mood (As Rikku can once again testify. She and I were killing fiends moments later. The carnage was far worse than my normal bad mood.)

"Rikku. I think I've just been scarred for life." I said faintly, my trembling (with fury) hands twitching toward my weapons. Rikku paled and dragged me out to kill fiends. She was even paler by the time we were done, but she was holding up well considering the amount of fiends she'd seen me take out my rage on with a serene smile on my face all the while. Anyone else woulda barfed by now. She's tough as nails, this one.

"_Better now, Kelle?_" she asked, her voice shaking slightly.

"I wish." I muttered, hanging my head. "Machina lessons now? I'm bored with hacking up fiends." I said. "And you _did_ promise." I pouted. She grinned and dragged me off the the cargo hold (Beyond the place where Dona is.) and taught me about machina. I mean, I already knew some basics, but she was teaching me the more fun stuff. Like guns. I ended up buying a shiny new gun from Rin (Who normally only sold them to Al Bhed, but he knew I wasn't a Yevonite; I told him point-blank when he'd asked about it.) and, with the help of a few Al Bhed, gave it a few 'upgrades' such as enchanting it with unlimited ammo (There was an Al Bhed mage who specialised in that stuff) and different ammo clips for each element and one with a piercing ability. It wasn't a BIG gun (or a small one, for that matter), but it worked well, and I could hide it in my coat and/or bag. I just can't resist destructive things.

Like the explosives Rikku and I were playing with up on deck when Trent found us hours after the horrifying discovery. Now I couldn't even think about him without gagging. I really hated Shell for ruining my plan. No, wait. More like my _life_, but whatever. I would totally have married him. But now I can't because she's had her dirty paws all over him.

Disgusting.

_Unforgivable_.

Those were the words that crossed my mind when I turned to face him. Especially when I noticed a hickey on his neck from the corner of my eye, though I said nothing. Though I did twitch.

"Did you _have_ to let her say disturbing things this morning? I nearly lost my breakfast, you know." I said calmly, crossing my arms across my chest. "I mean, the thought of _you_ naked, that's just..." I pulled a grossed out face. He frowned. "And her, of course. I am a girl, nothing I haven't seen. Does she still have that weird thing on her shoulder?" I asked, grimacing. I decided that insulting them was the way to go in this situation as far as covering up my hurt, battered feelings.

"Yes, she – hey, that's not what I came to talk about!" he snapped, his face heating up. "Ugh, I came to say sorry for letting her make things all awkward again." he said, glaring at the floor. I rolled my eyes.

"You gotta learn how to keep her in line without shoving your tongue down her throat." I summarised for him. He flushed and nodded. "Good luck with that one!" I said cheerfully, taking another grenade and tossing it off the side of the airship and watching it go BOOM.

"So I'm guessing you can't help with that." he sighed, sounding defeated. "I thought last night would shut her – oops." I twitched, dangerously close to snapping. "Uh, sorry."

"Whatever. When I get a boyfriend you two are gonna get an earful." I said coldly. He froze up. "What? She's allowed to brag about that stuff, but I'm not? That's messed up, even for us." He flushed and glared at me.

"Hey, I didn't ask her to blab about it!" he hissed.

"What's the big deal? Aren't you supposed to be happy you got laid? You are a guy, aren't you?" I asked, my eyes flicking to his lower half for a second.

"Wha? Of course I'm a guy!" he snapped. "I just believe that that stuff should be kept... private." he mumbled. I giggled.

"Oh, boy, you picked the wrong girl. Shell used to call me in the middle of the night every time she and one of her exes so much as _kissed_!" I said, bursting into full-blown laughter at the situation he was now stuck in. "My God, you're _screwed_!" I shrieked, clutching at my sides and falling on my ass, pounding the hull of the ship with my fist.

"Well, I'm glad _someone's_ happy!" he yelled, snapping me out of it. "'Cause now, as you so eloquently put it, I'm screwed, and I don't know what to do about it!"

"Oh... so you came to me for advice? No can do, my friend, she's got a history of stalking." I shrugged. "Why? Do you regret what you did last night?" Please say yes, please say yes...

"Uh... Maybe?" he asked. Eh, close enough.

"Do you love her?" I asked bluntly, my sharp ears catching the sound of the door-thing from the elevator opening behind us.

"Well, I... Not really, no." STRIKE!, I thought as I heard a scandalised gasp from the door.

"Y-you don't love me?" I was happy I was facing away from everyone but Rikku as I grinned inanely at Shell's misfortune. She'd laughed at mine for so long, I was overjoyed to see her get crushed. I remember that when Deki and I broke up, she wouldn't let me hear the end of it, rubbing salt in my open wounds whenever the opportunity arose. Karma is on my side this time, I silently cackled as I heard them argue before dropping the smirk and turning around.

"Ugh, make up your mind, you two! Do you love each other or not, it's a very simple question." I snapped, irked by how whiny she sounded. "Besides, you should be grateful I'm not rubbing it in, like you did when I broke up with Deki!"

"Oh, please, you had it coming."

SLAP.

"What... did you just say to me?" I asked, my voice deadly quiet as Trent and Rikku held me back.

"O-only an idiot would start a relationship with an _out-of-towner_." she laughed bitterly, once again rubbing it in. I was secretly shocked at how bad that stung, as well. I'd thought I was able to shove him to the back of my mind. Evidently not.

"Oh, so that's how it is, is it? How would you like to know Trent only slept with you to shut you up! Straight from the horse's mouth!" I yelled in her face.

"Keep me out of this!" Trent said.

"And at least Deki and I only broke up because of distance. Every boyfriend you ever had ran away from you screaming, you stalker-freak!" I hissed. "Not to mention the reputation you have for stealing taken guys back home!" I added, feeling Trent's grip on me loosen in shock. I shook them both off and went inside to find those other Al Bhed who were giving me hints about machina.

I didn't speak to Trent or Shell for the rest of the two-day journey.

* * *

"Ugh, are we there yet?" I complained to Rikku on the bridge. She smiled apologetically.

"Sorry it's taken so long, but we're nearly there now!" she said enthusiastically.

"Huh... In that case, I'm going to go watch out for Evrae." I sweatdropped at the crazy ass looks the others were giving me. "Uh, great sacred beast-monster that guards Bevelle? You think it'll just let us waltz in?" I asked, giving them a look.

"Great sacred beast? Yeah, right!" Shell scoffed. "I doubt there's anything _that_ powerful, not counting Sin." I resisted the urge to turn and glare. The sight of her was enough to make me queasy.

"Actually, she's right." Lulu said, seemingly shocked at how I knew. "I can't believe we overlooked that."

"We've had a lot to deal with, Lulu, it's only natural." I smiled at my teacher, who sighed.

"All the same..." she murmured, shaking her head in exasperation. I giggled.

"Hey, Rikku, let's go monster-watching!" I laughed, running to the cabins where we could observe the outside sky through a window. "Hey, it's cooler than bird-watching, right?" I turned around and grinned at everyone (except the two exceptions, who had gotten back together, much to my displeasure), who laughed, shooing me and Rikku away.

* * *

"Hey! I spy a monster~!" Rikku giggled, pointing out the window at her side of the ship. Man, that thing was _ugly_.

"Congratulations, Lady Rikku! Here's your grand prize!" I laughed, handing her a Poisonproof-ed Targe. "I'd equip that if I were you, Evrae does the whole poison breath dealie." I grimaced, remembering what a pain in the ass it had been the first time I fought it in the game.

"Oh, thanks. You musta worked hard to get all those Poison Fangs!" I gave her a suffering look and nodded. She grinned, thanked me, and took my advice and equipped it.

"The red carpet has teeth." Auron commented, looking at the window at Evrae.

"Aren't we Mr. Happy today." I deadpanned while Rikku giggled.

"Hmph!"

"Can we just win?" Shell snapped at me, while Trent rolled his eyes at her behaviour. Apparently he thought it was _cute_. I'll show him cute one of these days.

SNAP. Oh, there goes my sanity.

SNAP. And there's my self-control.

"Oh, I'm sorry, _my liege_, should I start licking you feet in apology?" I asked, my voice positively dripping with sarcasm. She faced my glare with one of her own.

"Bitch."

"Whore."

"Lady-boy!" she yelled, her face turning red.

"Sex slave!" I yelled back.

"Yeah, I wish... he says we rushed into it too fast." Rightly so. _Never_ would be too soon for these two. Maybe she hasn't managed to rot _all_ his brains like I originally thought she had.

"Well, yeah... How long were you guys dating, a couple months? That's quick, even for _you_ of all people." I smirked.

"Eh?"

"You lady-killer, you." I said, grinning at him playfully and elbowing him. He started squawking and swatted me away.

"Ignore her, Trentie-poo. She's just jealous of our happiness!" Shell cooed, grabbing his arm.

"I hope I don't get that bad when I have a significant other..." I muttered, just loudly enough for the two of them to hear.

"Sig-what, now?" Shell asked, confused. Big words have never been her forte.

"A boyfriend, you idiot." I said, rolling my eyes. "Honestly, I've known infants smarter than –"

"TRENTIE-POO, SHE SAID I WAS A IDIOT!" she wailed melodramatically.

"You are an idiot. Did you hear right, dum-dum? _AN_ idiot, not _A_ idiot, you twit." My smirk widened, knowing that witty comebacks were not something she had a talent for.

"Hey, come on, Kelle, quit being so harsh." I twitched when Trent said that.

"So I'm just supposed to take her insults lying down, is that what you're trying to say?" I asked, shooting him a filthy look. "Backstabbing little..." I grumbled under my breath. Rikku suddenly popped up next to me.

"Isn't this the part where you pull out a weapon and threaten to silence her for good?" Rikku asked, popping out of nowhere and looking like she actually wanted me to carry out the threat she just mentioned. Wow, I really am rubbing off on her. I'm so proud of her, being evil like me.

"How do you _do_ that?" I asked in amazement.

"It's a secret!"

"Gah! Evil secrets!" I hissed, pretending to cringe away from her. After a few moments of holding those poses, we burst out laughing. "Hey, Rin! Whatcha got for us today?" I asked cheerfully. Okay, so I enjoy fighting to get rid of jealous anger. The first step to recover is to admit it to yourself, is it not?

"Take a look." he smiled, knowing he'd make a killing off of me. I tend to buy a lot from both Rin and O'aka. I happily browsed his wares (And I lived up to everyone's expectations by buying as much as we could carry) and bought my stuff. Wakka noticed something about this interaction.

"We gotta pay? If we lose, you'll die too, buddy!" he yelled, shaking a fist.

"I have faith in your victory." Rin replied calmly.

"Gee, thanks!"

"Hey, he's gotta eat, too, y'know!" I interjected. "And his prices are very reasonable." I added as an afterthought. "Pleasure doing business with you, Rin."

"Likewise."

* * *

"Yay, it's killing time, everybody!" I cheered, running onto the lift to face Evrae.

"What part of going up against that thing is _fun_? Facing imminent death?" Trent called after me, not amused.

"Simple! We get to kick the Ugly Bitch-Thing's ass! And I wanna get a trophy from that thing!" I whooped.

"Isn't that, like, hunting, or something? I thought you were one of those animal-rights freaks. Totally against it, you know." Shell butted in. Like I wanted her opinion on this.

"Yeah, but that's not a defenceless animal, it's a big toxic fiend monster that wants to kill us." I said, my reasoning proving correct. "Besides... I might be able to find a use for one of its eyes or horns or something in weapon customization." I added.

"Remind me never to let you near my weapon, you weirdo." I twitched.

"Be grateful I'm saving my weapons for that thing instead of dirtying them with your blood." I snapped, glaring at her as the door thing slid open. Talk about slow.

"We gotta keep our distance, boys, but we can't let her get too far away!" Cid's voice blared over the speakers. "Y'all gonna have to tell me when to move!"

"Roger! I'll give the commands!" Tidus called.

"Not alone, you won't!" Rikku grinned, punching the air.

"Who's this Roger person?" I asked Tidus. "Is he nice?" He swatted me away playfully.

"Oh, very funny." Shell sneered coldly. "Grow up." Then she squeaked in terror when Evrae came up close to the ship.

"Are you sure you don't wanna sit this one out?" I asked in mock-concern. She glared at me.

"Whatever. Let's just get this over with." Huh. She's definitely gotten braver, I'll admit that much. Then the Ugly Bitch (No, not Shell) roared and flew toward us.

"HEY, SKY HOG, WE WERE HAVING A SORT OF CONVERSATION HERE!" I yelled furiously, pulling out my dagger and readying my shuriken, to throw when I couldn't hit Evrae with melee weapons.

"RRRRRRRAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRR!" was Evrae's... wonderful response.

"RRRRRRRAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRR! to you too!" I retaliated. "What are you guys staring at?" I snapped at my... friends... whose expressions were questioning my sanity.

"N-Nothing!" was the reply I got. Bah, nobody understands the genius that is me.

"Whatever. Are we killing this thing or no?" I deadpanned. In response, Rikku tossed a grenade at Evrae. She rocks. I can never stress this fact enough. EVER.

And so the fight began. As I mentioned before, I wanted a trophy to prove we'd killed Evrae, so I hopped onto its back while it was distracted by the Grenade. I managed to rip out some of its fur and steal one of its horns before it threw me off. I realise now that it was a stupid thing to do, as I almost got tossed over the edge of the airship (Which would have resulted in my death). But still. I got stuff to play with. Then it inhaled real deep. For those of you who don't know, that means it's getting ready to breathe out poison.

"Crap! We have to get back before it breathes poison on us! Move the ship!" I yelled at Rikku, who'd been staring at me like I'd gone mad. She seemed to snap out of it and nodded.

"_Father, go far!_" she called to Cid.

"Just a minute!" came the response, while Rikku shot me a questioning look.

"It's getting ready to breathe poison on us, and us five are the only ones with Ribbon." I explained. "Unless you want to use up all of your Al Bhed Potions?" I grinned at her scandalised face. She loves her items. A couple of moments later, the ship backed away from Evrae, so I started using my magic and shuriken on it (I didn't use my gun, because I'm not a very good shot yet. Throwing and shooting are two very different things, though I intend to get some practice in with the gun some time in the future) alongside Lulu's magic, Wakka's ball, Kimahri's Lancet, and (Though I hate to admit to her being useful...) Shell's Vortex boomerang.

"What's it – oh. You were right." Rikku said, staring at the noxious green... stuff... that Evrae had just breathed out. "Thanks for the heads-up, that looked nasty." I grinned and nodded as Cid launched a bunch of homing missiles on Evrae before she told him to move back up close. It looked pretty battered by this point, so I tossed a Star Curtain at it before using some more on myself, and one on Lulu. I cast Firaga on myself. It hit Evrae, and the Haste it had just cast hit Rikku instead. It was actually pretty fun to watch, Rikku all faster than usual. Her voice was all squeaky, and I made a mental note to never let anyone deliberately cast Haste on me, except in an emergency. It looked seriously embarrassing. Imagine if someone caught that on the sphere? The horror.

"Move back, further away!" Tidus yelled, sounding rather panicky as Evrae inhaled a second time. I tossed a Soft on Wakka, who'd gotten Petrified (Much to the horror of Shell, who'd never seen someone turn to stone before).

"You got it, kid!" Cid yelled back over the speakers. I almost lost my footing this time, he seemed to be really rushing after he saw Evrae exhale the first time round. All the same, he moved us out of the way just in time to save us from breathing its nasty breath in. Though then it hit us with a Photon Spray attack. Even with Auto-Shell, it still hurt like a bitch, and most of us looked pretty bad. Thank God for Al Bhed Potions.

"You bitch!" I yelled, casting Thundaga on myself so it would hit Evrae. It screeched at us furiously, before diving down and using Swooping Scythe. It wasn't so bad as the Photon Spray, but nonetheless we were all rather sore and had a few cuts and gashes here and there.

"Ugh... what a meanie... Take this!" Rikku yelled, mixing up a Cluster Bomb and tossing it in Evrae's ugly face. Let's just say the end result was not pretty.

"That was so awesome, Ri." I said, patting her shoulder playfully. She grinned and took a bow, before we both had to dodge an attack. "Geez, where did this thing learn its manner?" I asked rhetorically, hearing Rikku and Tidus snicker. Tidus then went OD (Overdrive) on Evrae's ass. Lucky for us the damn thing was already on its last legs, and that last Overdrive was enough to blast it into pyreflies. It was actually really sparkly and pretty, almost like fireworks.

Too bad we weren't able to stop for a moment and enjoy the view.

* * *

Then we were riding or whatever down the non-sparkly chain that Cid had kindly attached to the ground for us. Unfortunately, Cid is old and his aim sucks.

We weren't anywhere near Yuna, so we prepared to fight our way through (Mainly via healing).

"YUNAAAAAA!" Tidus yelled loudly enough to hurt my ears. The damn idiot led them straight to us.

Shibby.

* * *

**A/N****: Geez, that took a whole lot longer to finish than I thought it would. The fight was a nightmare, because I was trying to make it better than the old version. I was sooo tempted to write: "And then Evrae just blew up into millions of pyreflies and we entered Bevelle. The End." BUT I DIDN'T. That would be mean.**

**And I've ALWAYS wanted to say this: IT'S OVER 9000!**


	11. Rescuing Yuna and a reunion?

**Disclaimer****: I do not own squat. I own my characters and anything that wasn't in the game, excepting the pins and their psychs, which came from **_**The World Ends With You**_**. Why must you make me say it?**

**Socks: … -unable to say anything due to unfortunate injuries-**

**Allen: To be fair, I **_**did**_** warn him what I'd do if he lost...**

**Authoress: My hero~! Wanna go annoy Kanda together?**

**Allen: Sounds like fun to me!**

**-they leave together-**

**Socks: … (Translation: "Uhhh... Enjoy the show. AND SOMEONE SEND ME A HEALER, DAMMIT!")**

**Rescuing Yuna, and a reunion**

If there is one thing I will say about Bevelle that probably has nothing to do with Yevon, it's this: GARISH ARCHITECTURE. Seriously. Everything is red, and it's making my eyes burn. Whoever's responsible for this evil will be granted a slow, painful death, _mark my words_. Lulu seemed to dislike the décor, as well. We both looked like we wanted to run back home and curl up in bed like the weenies we are deep down inside.

Whatever, on with the story.

The second we crash-landed in Bevelle, all hell broke loose and the Yevon guards in the _Godawful_ armour came running to either capture or kill us. I hate those damn suits, and neither of their intentions sounded particularly appealing to me. But seriously, those outfits, they're enough to make your eyes bleed.

I'm getting sidetracked.

Anyway, we took out the first batch of soldiers, and had to fight against one of those evil kicking-things with the second group.

"Why are they using machina, huh? Why?" Wakka asked cluelessly. You'd think that even he would have figured it out by now.

"Uh, because it's the most effective method they have of killing intruders such as us." I deadpanned, while everyone else sweatdropped. Even the Yevon guards. "Anyway, no hard feelings, we just don't want our summoner to get raped by the blue-haired undead lunatic." I said, grinning and waving at the guards in an almost friendly manner before casting Firaga on the machina.

"You really need to get your head on straight, Kelle, ya." Wakka said, glaring at me. I smiled faux-innocently.

"Whatever could you mean by that, now, Wakka?" I laughed, happily lobbing a shuriken at the machina before Lulu blasted it, thus destroying the metal pest. Thankfully the boys took out the beard-guys that had the flamethrowers. (By take out I mean knock out, not kill. It's not their fault they're misguided. They think they're the good guys.) "Ugh, not the shooty thing. I hate the floating shooty things." I complained.

"Why? Are the floating shooty things bad?" Trent asked, looking worried.

"They're long-range, meaning we can't attack them with anything other than range weapons and magic until we take out the guards in front of them." I groaned. "But they can hit us, so we better be quick."

"Ugh, that sounds like a real pain." he grumbled. Rikku nodded in agreement before lobbing an L-Bomb at the two guys. I called a hasty apology. "Why do you keep apologising?" he asked.

"They think they're the good guys." I said quietly. "They think we're here to cause trouble and nothing more. They probably even think Yuna willingly consented to this whole thing." I explained, gesturing to our surroundings, more specifically the wedding decorations.

"Ah. You've got a point there, Kelle. But then, it's like you're almost guilty. You're not, are you?" he asked, shaking my shoulders. I think he was wondering if I'd lost it.

"No, silly. Only almost." I giggled.

"Oh, thank God... I thought we'd lost you, there... Or that an alien or an unsent or something took over your body." he sighed, patting my shoulder.

"...Wow. I was _not_ expecting this sudden concern, but thanks." I said, smiling faintly as I rolled my eyes at him. "Honestly, you won't be rid of me that easily, you goof."

"Good." he grunted, smiling back grudgingly before he ran to trash the accursed shooty thing. I really don't like them. It took a few minutes for the damn thing to finally die, but we (evidently) got there in the end. Eventually. After getting blown up a few times.

Anyway, whining over. We ran up the stairs to find Yuna at the altar with Seymour in the oh-so pretty dress. Even I, tomboy extraordinaire, will admit that that dress was wonderful. Though it was ruined by the eye bleach-worthy blue haired lunatic stood next to Yuna. My eyes, they bleed.

"How sad." I muttered. "What a waste of a pretty dress."

"For once I agree with you, Kelle." Shell whispered, shaking her head in disapproval. "Him being there totally ruined that dress..." I froze.

"Oh, my God... We're actually agreeing." I gasped, horrified. I'm fairly certain that my expression mirrored her look of horror and 'OMG-the-world's-about-to-end'.

"Stop! Do you not value your friends' lives?" Ah, I lost track of things for a moment. Yuna had tried to send Seymour. "Protect them, or throw them away!" I heard Yuna's staff fall at Tidus' feet with a clatter. I looked away as he kissed her, though I heard Tidus growling. He was sooo mad. Me being a Tidus/Yuna shipper to the end and all, I didn't blame him one bit. Curse you, Seymour! Curse you and your blue hair and weird face-veins!

"Kill them." came the voice of the thing I just cursed silently a second ago. Yuna gasped, shocked. So naïve. She should've KNOWN he would lie about it. He's the bad guy, he lies. More often than not, this is the case. You do occasionally get the decent bad guy who keeps his word. But Seymour is not one of them. End rant.

"I am sorry, but it is for Yevon!" Kinoc said, not sounding the least bit apologetic as he aimed his gun at Auron.

"Aren't those weapons forbidden by Yevon?" Auron asked dully. Kinoc smirked.

"There are exceptions..." he chuckled evilly.

"K-Kelle... Are we gonna die here?" Shell asked, looking terrified as she clung to Trent, who grimaced. It seems that he doesn't like the thought of living his last moments with her clinging to his arm like that. She has a vice-like grip, so I wasn't expecting him to join in any fights for an hour or two. She's like a boa constrictor.

"Don't be silly. Like I'd ever die such a pathetic death!" I said, placing my hands on my hips and staring down the guy who had his gun in my face.

"NO!" I looked up, seeing Yuna standing at the edge, ready to jump. "Throw down your weapons! Let them go, or else..." she looked over her shoulder at the – in my personal opinion – utterly terrifying drop. She must have had a screw loose as a result of being kissed by that madman. Hopefully it was only temporary.

Hopefully.

"Yuna..." I muttered under my breath. "Be careful." I shuddered, imagining how far she was about to fall and trying not to think about her going splat if her aeon didn't reach her in time.

"She'll be fine." came a _very_ familiar voice from behind me. Noooo, this can't be happening. It just can't.

"D-Deki?" I stuttered, whirling around to face him. He'd taken off his helmet, revealing the familiar blonde hair and hazel eyes I remembered so well. That armour _so_ did not suit him, it was hideous. He smiled sheepishly.

"Uh, hey." he said, knowing he was probably in for it. He's played this game before, all the way through, so why the _hell_ is he with the bad guys?

"YUNA!" I heard Tidus scream.

"Shield your eyes!" Rikku yelled, grabbing my arm and dragging my shocked form away from everything.

* * *

"Uh, hey... Kelle? You alive in there?" Tidus asked, waving his hand in front of my face. "Hey, guys, there's something wrong with Kelle. I think she's broken!"

"No, I'm just in shock." I said faintly. "I can't believe he was with the bad guys..."

"Who? A guy from your world?" Tidus asked, looking utterly surprised.

"I... he..."

"A guy she knows? You mean there's another one, aside from Trent?" Shell snickered. I snapped out of my daze to glare at her.

"It was Deki, if you must know." I hissed coldly.

"Oh. Wait, he's real? I thought you just made him up to piss me off about my not having a boyfriend for longer than a few months!" she actually looked like she was telling the truth. Having known her since babyhood, I could read her like a book. How pathetic, my 'friend' since babyhood thinks I made up my first serious boyfriend.

"Wow, thanks for the vote of faith."

"Wait... the same Deki you told me about in the Thunder Plains?" Trent butted in. "He stabbed you in the back? Has he played the game as well?"

"Y-yeah. He knows we're on the right side, and yet he was there, in armour, holding a machina gun. I don't understand." I said, crouching down in my emo corner of doomage. "Maybe he hates me for breaking up with him. We had a really good relationship, we only broke up because of the distance thing."

"Really." he said flatly. "How tragic."

"Yeah... I really thought you had an over-active imagination..." Shell said. "Guess I owe you an apology, Kelle, for not believing you."

"Apology accepted, just don't ever doubt anything I say ever again." I told her.

"Uh, yeah, we're going in now. Auron finally caught his breath." Tidus grinned, trying to take my mind off the whole thing. It kinda failed, but I secretly appreciated the gesture.

"Shut up." Auron said, whacking Tidus over the head, making the rest of us laugh. When we went in, Wakka whined about the presence of machina, though he seemed to think it was the only one. He was wrong by miles.

"_Another_ machina?" he slumped.

"I guess it comes in handy." Rikku said, shrugging before she brought the elevator up to the top.

"That's not what I mean! The teachings, what about the teachings?" he yelled furiously. Were I not in shock over the whole Deki-helping-the-bad-guys thing, I would have snickered along with Trent and Shell, who have lived with 'machina' their entire lives along with me.

"Told you so, Wakka. Don't deny it, everyone in this room is a witness." I said, smiling wanly.

"Oh, yeah... 'They use machina in Bevelle.' I remember." Rikku said. I nodded, watching her face split into an unholy grin. Evidently she was gonna give Wakka hell for his Al Bhed prejudice later on when it was more appropriate. If so, I'd be helping her. We took the elevator down and healed up in the Priest's Passage.

"And now, to hell." I said, staring fearfully at the entrance to the Trials.

"Hell?" Trent asked, looking nervous.

* * *

"You're right, Kelle, that was hell on earth." Trent said, looking over his shoulder fearfully at the Godforsaken maze of hell and evil.

"Where's Yuna?" Tidus asked. The boy's got a one-track mind, and he's making me think of 'Where's Wally?' The jerk must be doing it on purpose. Weirdo.

"Inside, maybe?" Wakka suggested in a rare moment of intelligence.

"Then what are we standing here for?" Tidus yelled, walking over to the entrance to the Chamber of the Fayth.

"Hey, whoa!"

"You can stuff your taboos!" Tidus yelled, trying to force his way in. It was actually pretty fun to watch, as his face was turning the colour of a tomato. Then Kimahri had to ruin my fun by helping him and letting him in, letting the door drop once Tidus was inside. I decided to sit in one of the little niches and relax. Being a guardian, I don't really get to truly relax very often anymore. Then I heard something.

"Relaxation time over." I grumbled, standing up to face the exit where they were coming to get us. I wondered if Deki was gonna be helping them haul us off. He _was_ with them, but not in armour. He was restrained. "What...? Okay, this is messed up. One minute you're helping the bad guys and now you're their prisoner? An explanation, if you please, Deki." He chuckled, smiling at me.

"Same old Kelle, huh? I was just waiting for Yuna's party to arrive so I could help out. Got the shock of my life when I heard your name, let me tell you." I raised an eyebrow. "A good shock, I mean."

"Good. I know I look different with the hair and all, but am I that bad-looking?" I asked, suddenly insecure.

"Nah, you always look gorgeous." At that, my face felt suddenly warm enough to fry eggs on. He chuckled. "Geez, you won't even let me go to hug my girlfriend? Talk about cold." he laughed, before smiling weakly.

"Shut up, traitor." Kinoc snapped.

"Huh, how ironic. Tromell called us that right after we killed Seymour. Talk about repetitive." I giggled. "Or maybe you knew that and just don't have an imagination." I said cheerfully.

"Treat the maester with respect and stop talking nonsense, infidel whore!" One of the guys holding Deki snarled.

"Uh, I'm not talking nonsense. Seymour is unsent and the other maesters all know. And while I respect the fact that you think you're the good guys because you're deluded..." I punched him. "Who the hell do you think you're calling a whore?" I yelled that last part.

And then something hit the back of my head and I was knocked out. The last thing I was aware of was Deki screaming profanities at whoever had been responsible. How nice.

* * *

"Ow, my head..." I whined quietly, sitting up.

"You finally woke up." I looked up to see a familiar pair of hazel eyes looking into my own purple ones. "You had me worried there for a while." he chuckled weakly. Looking around, I realised we were alone in our cage-slash-cell.

"Come on, I've survived everything since Baaj, one lousy knock to the head won't kill me." I said, managing a smile.

"You've been here since the beginning, huh? Lucky you." he seemed pretty curious.

"Hn. I hated Bikanel. It was all sand and hardly any ruins for hours on end!" I complained. "I almost died of boredom, and the smell was horrible."

"The smell? What, did you find a dead body or something?" I shook my head.

"No. Shell can't handle heat. The BO was horrible, almost as bad as a rotten corpse." I explained, grimacing at the memory of the bad smell. "But on the bright side of things, it kept away the fiends." I laughed.

"Uh, Shell would be that other girl who wasn't in the original party, right? The same so-called best friend of yours with boyfriend issues?" he asked, frowning.

"The very same. She joined us at the Thunder Plains inn, and Trent joined us in Luca. They're a couple." I said, pulling a face. "I hate being the third wheel. And Shell was rubbing in the fact that I was all alone as far as having a significant other was concerned."

"Doesn't sound like a very good friend to me." he commented.

"Another example of how messed-up my life is." I said quietly. "And am I imagining it, or did you call me your girlfriend before I was so rudely knocked out?" I asked, looking over at him curiously.

"I did. And I don't regret it, either."

"Is that your indirect way of asking me to be yours officially again?" I giggled, knowing that it had taken him a while to ask me out in dumb-crazy-girl terms way back when.

"Yeah. Uh, that is, if you want to..." I pecked him on the lips before he said anything else.

"Sure. It's not like I ever felt the same way about anyone else." And it was the truth. Sure, I had a thing for Trent, though it was purely physical. It didn't make me feel like Deki had, like a missing part of me had been found.

"So, Via Purifico." he said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. We were currently leaning on each other.

"Hm? I wonder where we'll be thrown. Maze or zombie-infested underwater maze?" I asked.

"Regular dark-and-dingy maze, if you please. I can't hold my breath at all." he said lazily.

"Same here, though I have a mouthpiece for the whole underwater dealie. I just don't wanna miss out on the epic aeon battle." I said, grinning up at him. "Wonder which aeons she'll use?"

"Eh. Bahamut will probably used against the first two, but... Against Spathi, who knows?" he murmured lazily.

"It'll be awesome, though."

"Yeah... So are they all the same as in the game, or are they different?" he asked, evidently curious.

"Well... Tidus is kinda hyper sometimes, Rikku's turning into my evil right-hand woman, Lulu's just plain awesome, Auron's King of the Grouchies, Kimahri's really nice, Yuna has one _hell_ of a martyr complex, and Wakka is the dumbest person you will ever meet." I said, frowning. "I nearly killed him in Bikanel over the whole racism thing. Several times."

"Don't blame you, he was infuriating enough in the game." Deki muttered, smiling faintly. "You always turn pink when you're mad or embarrassed, you know." At that, I _did_ turn pink.

"Uh, really? When I get mad, too?" I asked, not knowing this little fact. He laughed.

"Yeah. I like it."

"Sh-shut up!" I wailed, swatting at him, totally embarrassed beyond belief.

"So did you miss me?" he asked, suddenly serious.

"Of course I missed you, you twit. Not that I didn't try not to, but... yeah. Didn't work out so well." I rolled my eyes.

"Good. I missed you too."

"Good."

* * *

"Come on out, you are to stand trial." I heard Kinoc call.

"Okay, fat guy, don't get your panties in a twist." I grumbled. He glared at me.

* * *

"The high court of Yevon in now in session." I looked up at the elderly Ronso and wondered how we were able to hear him from all the way up there. "To those on trial: Believe in Yevon, and speak only the truth! Summoner Yuna, you have sworn to protect the people of Yevon, true?"

"Yes!" Yuna said, nodding instantly. Martyr complex much?

"Then consider: You have inflicted dire injury upon Maester Seymour Guado; conspired with the Al Bhed, and joined in their insurrection! These are traitorous and unforgivable crimes that disturb the order of Yevon." he said coldly. "Tell this court what possessed you to participate in such violence!"

"Your Grace..." Yuna started nervously. "The real traitor is Maester Seymour! He killed his father Jyscal with his own hands!" she said, pointing up at the blue haired creep.

"What is this!" Kelk gasped, taken aback by this new information.

"Hm? Hadn't you heard?" Seymour asked calmly, as though he _wasn't_ talking about himself being a murderer.

"Not only that... Maester Seymour is already dead!"

"It is a summoner's sacred duty to send the souls of the departed to the Farplane!" Lulu said, shooting a rather nasty look in Seymour's direction. "She was only doing her job as a summoner!"

"Grand Maester Mika, please send Seymour now!" Yuna cried, looking up at the Grand Maester beseechingly. How many times am I gonna say just how naïve she is?

"Send the unsent to where they belong?" Mika asked.

"Yes!"

"Send the dead, hmm?" Suddenly pyreflies erupted from the old coot's form. "You would have to send me, too."

"What?" Wakka gasped, shocked by the new revelation. Then again, anything new will shock the idiot. I mean, the idea that the Al Bhed weren't evil people totally flummoxed him.

"Grand Maester Mika is a wise leader. Even in death, he is invaluable to Spira." Kelk boomed.

"Enlightened rule by the dead is preferable to the misguided failures of the living." Kinoc added. Yes, I really am interested in your contribution, you berk.

"Life is like a passing dream, but the death that follows is eternal." Seymour smiled. EWWW, gross. I did NOT want to see that.

"Indeed, that is the essence of Yevon." Mika said, nodding his head and looking totally blissed out. Most of the maesters are such weirdos. Kelk doesn't count, he's actually decent. "Yevon is embodied by eternal, unchanging continuity, summoner." he said, suddenly seeming lucid.

"No... that can't be right!" Yuna cried, looking almost like a puppy that had been kicked, though far worse.

"Those who question these truths... They are traitors!" Mika said, raising his hands to the air. Deki and I were both wearing our WTF faces right then.

"Lord Mika...!" Yuna looked so upset. I actually felt really suckish then.

* * *

"And we're back in jail again. Ironic how similar this is to a game of monopoly..." I muttered.

"Yeah." Deki agreed. "That really is weird."

"Hmm. Will you be with me when I laugh at Wakka and say 'I told you so'?" I asked.

"Of course, dear. I wouldn't have it any other way." he said, an evil grin remarkable similar to my own making its way across his face. "But what're you planning on doing once Sin's gone?"

"I'll hunt fiends. With Gillionaire." I said, smirking. "Would you like to join me if we're forced to stay here after Sin's gone?" I asked, looking up at him hopefully. "Or would you rather settle by yourself someplace?"

"...Nah. I'd rather fiend-hunt with you, if it makes any difference." he grinned. "Someone's gotta watch your back!"

"That's good..." I mumbled, jumping slightly as the doors to our prison opened and the fatty and his entourage walked in.

"Come out, your sentence has been decided." the fatty maester called in.

"Via Purifico, right?" I said, stepping out of the cage when they opened the door.

"...How did you know that?"

"I am the all-knowing Kelle, fear me and my awesomeness! And fear Deki's sex power!" I cackled as we were dragged off. I got some real weird looks from the Yevonites, though it had the desired effect of making Deki burst out laughing.

"Shut him up, will you?" one of the guards grumbled under his breath.

"No, it's been too long since we had a proper laugh." I whined. "Yevon is evil, anyway." I said cheerfully, spotting where they were leaving us. The maze. "So we're with Yuna, then?"

"Shut up and get going, wench." the guard snapped, shoving me and the now-sober Deki into the pit.

Ow.

* * *

"Kelle! Kelle, are you alright?"

"'m fine, Yuna, 'm fine..." I mumbled. "'dun wanna get up yet..."

"Kelle, you have to get up now! We have to get out of here!" I sat up, complaining under my breath about Yevon and a good few other things.

"Oh. Right. Via Purifico." I stood up, looking around. Auron had his sword at Deki's throat. "Uh, Auron... Why are you attacking Deki?"

"He thinks I'm a Yevonite." Deki laughed nervously, staring at the very sharp weapon in front of him.

"Ah. Right. Auron, he's from the same place I'm from. He's not a Yevonite, I swear." I said, shoving the big ass sword away from Deki.

"Hmph. If he betrays us, I will hold you responsible." Auron said simply, shooting Deki a 'warning glare' before backing off. I sighed in relief.

"Do you have a weapon, Deki?" I asked, pulling out the gun I'd picked up on the way to Bevelle when he shook his head. "You can borrow this until you find a weapon of your own." I said, tossing it to him. "But I want it back eventually, don't forget that!"

"Yes, I know..." he rolled his eyes. "You really haven't changed much, have you?" he chuckled.

"What did you expect?" I giggled, before looking around. We were missing Lulu and Kimahri. And the lovebirds, who were doing things that I shouldn't really talk about.

We found them... eventually. After killing multitudes of nasty-ass fiends in really poor light and getting lost Bob-knows-how-many-times. And, oh joy, it's Isaaru and his weirdly-named aeons waiting for us at the end. I mean, Grothia, Pterya and Spathi? Weird names are weird, period. And for some weird-ass reason, even though we met him at _Djose Temple_, he doesn't have Ixion in this battle. This whole thing is messed up.

Damn you, Yevon.

"Lady Yuna, so it is you!" Isaaru said, looking pretty horrified as he approached us.

"Oh, that's the brainwashed guy, right?" Deki muttered in my ear. Kimahri seemed fairly amused by this, though he didn't say anything to the others about it.

"We took the airship to the Calm Lands and came to Bevelle from there. Maester Kinoc summoned us when we arrived and ordered us to 'deal with the traitors'." he shook his head sadly. Lucky I told her to get herself and her aeons ready to overdrive, or we'd be having a tougher time with this guy.

"His guardians... I don't see them." Lulu said quietly, though Isaaru heard her.

"Maroda and Pacce are not here. I will do this unhappy deed myself. Even if you are Lord Braska's flesh and blood..." Obsessed much? "You're a traitor!" he yelled, making Yuna flinch. He (as expected) called out Grothia (AKA, his version of Ifrit).

"Yuna, use Shiva's Diamond Dust, it should take it out in one hit." I said, quietly enough that Isaaru wouldn't hear, but Yuna heard me loud and clear. Well, not loud, but... you know what I mean.

Shiva is awesome, even if her clothes are kinda missing. Have you _seen_ that entrance? Total pwnage. Isaaru's got none of Yuna's flair when it comes to summoning, he should give it up as a bad job. He doesn't interact with his aeons _at all_. How cold, I snickered.

"Shiva, use Diamond Dust!" ...Pokémon plz? But still. Shiva pwned Grothia's ass in ten seconds, if even that. Half of me wanted to get pompoms and cheer Shiva on like an American cheerleader. The other, more dominant half of me decided to just sit there grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Makes you wonder where he got the funny names from." I muttered under my breath.

"Maybe some Spira legend about a fire monster or something." Deki reasoned.

"Shut up, you nerd." I laughed, kicking him. "He's summoning Pterya." Yuna called out Bahamut (In all his awesome glory), dismissing Shiva. He blasted Pterya (Let's all say it together: THE PROPER NAME IS VALEFOR! WHY DO YOU GIVE FUNNY NAMES, ISAARU?) with his Mega Flare. It didn't kill Pterya, though it looked like it was on its last legs. It fought back with a rather weak Sonic Wings attack. Bahamut glared at it, annoyed, probably thinking _'This annoying gnat hasn't died yet from the pwnage of my awesome Mega Flare? Impossible, it must die!'_ or something along those lines.

"I'm surprised that thing was stubborn enough to withstand that attack." I commented, noticing the nasty look 'Pterya' gave me. "What? We're the good guys, you know that."

It rolled its eyes before taking an Impulse attack from Bahamut and collapsing. Bahamut was then forcibly dismissed as Isaaru called out Spathi. Yuna Grand Summoned Ixion (Who was ready to overdrive anyway) and had him attack with Thor's Hammer. Spathi just stood there, silently waiting for his Mega Flare to be ready. After Ixion collected himself (Those aeon overdrives look damn tiring compared to ours), he fired off a second Thor's Hammer before getting nuked by Mega Flare, having worn himself out too badly to raise a shield and protect himself. Yuna inhaled shakily before calling on Ifrit.

The battle didn't last much longer, as Spathi was feeling the effects of having taken two consecutive overdrives. Ifrit's Hellfire and a Meteor Strike were enough to finish him off.

"Stay away!" Isaaru hissed as Yuna approached him, somewhat concerned for his wellbeing. Kinda silly, considering he just tried to kill her, but whatever. "...There's a way to the surface up ahead."

"Thank you." Yuna said quietly, going in the direction Isaaru had just indicated. Auron took out his big-ass sword.

"Your pilgrimage is over." he said coldly, pointing it at the fallen summoner's neck in much the same manner as he had with Deki before I stopped him. Isaaru nodded fearfully, knowing that Auron wasn't someone to say no to when angered. Auron 'hmph'ed and withdrew, walking with myself and Deki to the surface, where everyone was having their happy reunion. Mushy crap.

"Ugly alert." I muttered under my breath as most of us spotted the Blue-Haired Pansy and his Circle of Flower Friends. And then one of the Flower Friends pushed over Kinoc's corpse, and my silent mental joke was over.

"Kinoc!" Auron gasped.

"I have saved him." Seymour said calmly. "He was a man who craved power. And great power he had; but he fear losing it. Trembling at unseen enemies, he spent his days scheming petty schemes. Chased by his fears; never knowing rest. Now, he has no worries. He has been granted sleep eternal." Then he started his psycho-babble act about death and Zanarkand and killing Yuna. Kimahri didn't like it; he ended up skewering Seymour on the end of his spear.

It looked kinda painfully, in all honesty.

"Unpleasant." Seymour said, his face turning even nastier than usual. Then he absorbed all his Flower Power buddies and turned even uglier than the Sinspawn Gui from Operation Mi'ihen. And we all know how much I hated that damn thing. And he was levitating, the show-off. Me no likey.

"Run! Protect Yuna!" Kimahri yelled.

"Go!" Auron snapped at us all, looking at Yuna in particular.

"But –" Tidus tried to protest. Auron was having none of it; he whipped out his big-ass sword and waved it in front of Tidus' face.

"I said go!" And so we ran, terrified of Auron's sword combined with his short fuse. Until Yuna stopped us (She's the only person in the party who has no reason to fear Auron. Guardians don't attack their summoners).

"I won't leave Kimahri behind!" she cried.

"He is a guardian. Protecting you is everything." Auron told her. She shook her head furiously.

"We all are." I intoned.

"And you know what that means, Yuna?" Tidus asked, smiling at her. "Anywhere you go, I'll follow."

"Anywhere I go?" she asked, looking shocked.

"Yeah, _anywhere_." he said firmly, his smile widening.

"Well, then..."

"Let's go!" They both said in unison. It's actually a little weird.

"Hey, Kimahri! Save some for us!" I heard Tidus yell distantly.

"Ready to kick some ass?" I asked, grinning at Trent, Shell and Deki. They all grinned and nodded.

"Don't forget us!" we yelled, running in the same direction. Kimahri was in pretty bad shape, though Shell and Yuna instantly focused on healing him. Once that was over with, Rikku tossed a bunch of Star Curtains up to protect us from all the downright nasty spells we would have had to take otherwise. I kept on killing the Mortibody, over and over, so it never got the chance to use Desperado (Which removes all positive statuses, e.g., Reflect). I really hated that thing, it was an affront to anything with eyes, it looked _so_ gross. Eventually, Yuna was in overdrive and called out Bahamut. He managed to blast Seymour (And the UglyBody, um, I mean Mortibody, of course I do...) with his Mega Flare before getting banished by the evil fiend-monster Seymour-thing, who was now on his last legs.

Well, he was levitating, but you know what I mean.

I then tossed a Star Curtain at Seymour, realising that Mortibody was gonna try to heal him the first chance it got in spite of me constantly killing it. Though, eventually, he did explode into pyreflies thanks to that last attack from Tidus. And after that, we ran.

"Huh. I never camped out before this journey, you know." I admitted sheepishly. Trent grinned.

"Oh, yeah... You were always 'I don't like it, it's cold!'" he laughed.

"And I was right. It _is_ cold, this time." I complained.

"If you don't like it, I'm sure the Yevon guards in Bevelle would be happy to escort you to a cozy cell." Auron snapped.

"Uh... Did someone mention a problem? Not me, I am A-OK." I said, grabbing Deki and dragging him over to the tree where I wanted to sleep. "Told you he was scary." I muttered under my breath, loudly enough for everyone to hear.

"Hmph!"

* * *

Yuna and Tidus were sopping wet when they came back from their 'conversation'. I smirked once Yuna was done with telling us our agenda.

"So how far did you guys go?" I asked evilly. Tidus turned the colour of a tomato and started sputtering about privacy and whatnot. "Geez, don't bust a lung, Ti, it was a simple enough question." I giggled.

"Oh, yeah? Then how far have you and Deki gone?" he asked, evidently trying to embarrass me. Nice try, Tidus. I have no shame.

"Second base." I said matter-of-factly before cracking up at their (Deki was sitting next to me, to 'share body heat') faces. "Man, what's with you guys and making dumb faces?"

"You... you did that on purpose!"

"Sue me, I needed a laugh." I giggled, curling into Deki in a rather cat-like manner and going to sleep.

* * *

Ugh. Now for the Calm Lands. Damn endless plains with a killer machina waiting at the end.

And Deki has yet to give back my precious gun.

* * *

**A/N****: Ugh, is it me or is it getting more and more difficult to stave off the writers' block as the story progresses? Bah.**


	12. Betrayal and Evil Pots

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing but my characters and the dinky little things I thought up that weren't in Final Fantasy or The World Ends With You. Just to clear that up.**

**Socks: ...Did you have to sic Allen on me?**

**Authoress: Yes, I did. By the way, you done awesome, Allen.**

**Allen: -1000megawatt smile- That's good... But why is he all better?**

**Authoress: ...A healer snuck in and fixed him.**

**Allen: Ohh... That's too bad.**

**Authoress: Yeah... It was so quiet. Will you introduce the chapter for me?**

**Allen: Sure. Here's chapter 12, enjoy it, readers! -1000megawatt smile-**

**Authoress: -faints-**

**The Calm Lands**

"Yay... Fields." I deadpanned, staring at the endless greenness before me.

"I would have thought you'd be happy." Deki commented. At my confused look he added; "Chocobos. Lots of chocobos. Free to ride." At those words, I ran full-pelt down the slope to where the hover was, seeing many of the cute yellow birds. Sue me, I like them. They're so adorable!

"CHOCOBOS!" I said happily, watching them. There's something different about seeing them in their natural state rather than tethered up at the back of an inn or powering a boat.

"Uh, what's with you, ya? You saw chocobos on the Mi'ihen Highroad, ya!" Wakka asked, scratching his head in confusion. I twitched, going to the hover-vendor to buy supplies (There are things you can only get from this vendor. And he only appears once in the whole game, so use the opportunity wisely because he never appears a second time. I wonder what happens to him) and whatnot, my good mood officially spoilt.

"Uh, Kelle? Remember what we talked about this morning?" Rikku asked, a too-sweet smile suddenly taking over her face once I was done shopping.

"Oh, yeah..." I said, an evil grin taking over my face. "Wakka, you're coming with us." I said sweetly. He gulped, backing away.

"Now, now, ya... Let's not do anything rash, yaaaaa!" the ball throwing idiot wailed pathetically as we dragged him off.

...Let's just say he'll never utter a word against the Al Bhed again if he wants to keep that which makes him male. Heh heh heh.

"I don't even wanna know." Deki said, though he was grinning. I giggled.

"Good. 'Cause that secret stays with me and Rikku. Wakka knows better than to blab... right, Wakka?" I said, shooting Wakka an evil glare. He whimpered, nursing his bruises and cracked ribs.

"Still terrifying as ever." he laughed. Trent stared at him like he was insane.

"...Now I see why you two are so good together. You're both homicidal maniacs." he shuddered. "If you have children..." I suddenly grin.

"We'll make our own army!" I laughed. Trent seemed to think I was serious and looked absolutely terrified, as did Wakka, who knows what my wrath is like. "I'm kidding." I deadpanned. "Maybe when we're older, but I wanna enjoy my life before I have kids."

"Right. But you won't try to take over the world with them, will you?" Yuna asked.

"I make no promises." I giggled. She looked horrified. "Come on, stud, there's the rest stop." I said, pointing in the direction of the actual shop near where Belgemine was (HA! I remembered her name! _TAKE THAT_!) waiting for Yuna to kick her aeons' butts. But I insisted that we rest and stock up first, some of the fiends here (e.g., Malboros) were a real pain in the ass. They kept on confusing everybody else and making them attack those of us who still had our sanity intact! If you thought it was annoying in the game, try having Lulu's creepy mogs attack you without mercy. Cait Sith stayed out of it, but...

HOW DO YOU FIGHT BACK AGAINST STUFFED ANIMALS? HOW?

And then there was the whole issue about Auron trying to kill us with his massive sword of doom. It's a lot scarier in real life, believe me. Wakka's not so scary, though. I'm so terrified of his toy blitzball. Note the sarcasm.

"Ugh. Now I remember why I hated the Calm Lands so much. It's such a deceiving name..." I whined. Deki nodded, slumping down on the floor. I took the pant legs and my coat out of my bag and put them back on. "Gagazet next." I said. "I'm feeling cold just thinking about it." I added. Deki nodded, wandering over to the vendor to see if he could get himself a better coat and some boots for the cold. He'd only been wearing a vest-top on his upper body before, and he was wearing freaking sandals for footwear. _Sandals_. Of course, because we're heartless that way we 'forgot' to mention this little fact to Wakka.

"No more worries." he grinned at me, having just pointed Rikku in the vendor's direction also, having forewarned her about the cold.

"Hm, aside from the nasty machina, and Sin, and the evil bitch waiting you-know-where..." I said nonchalantly, as though it were no big deal. Technically, it isn't. I mean, they're capable of defeating Sin without us four. We're just here to make it easier and make sure nothing messed-up happens. "And possibly the Dark Aeons, if the International and PAL versions are correct." I added knowledgeably. Deki shuddered.

"Anything but that..."

"Whatcha talking about?" Rikku asked, interested by our private conversation.

"We were wondering where the Final Aeon even came from in the first place." I lied.

"Huh... Yeah, that is pretty interesting... I wonder where it came from. Hey, maybe Auron knows!" she said, standing up to go ask him. She didn't get anything out of him. He said she'd find out on her own soon enough. True enough, but does he really have to be such an ass about it all? I mean, sure he's dead and all, but he's playing his cards way too close to his chest, if you ask me. "He is such a meanie!" Rikku raged. Couldn't have put it better myself. "He knows and he deliberately won't say anything!" she whined, before turning to watch as Father Zuke came along and spoke to Lulu and Yuna. He shot Deki a filthy look before he left, and while Deki didn't notice, I did. I shot him a far nastier one that promised blood and death. He paled visibly and left just that little bit faster.

"What's with the glaring?" Tidus asked, interested.

"He glared at Deki, so I glared at him." I said simply. "Glares aren't Deki's area of expertise." I explained at Tidus' slightly clueless look.

"Oh."

"H-Hey, I never had to glare all the time!" Deki stuttered, mildly peeved.

"Touché."

* * *

"Ah, Yuna. I hear you caused quite a stir in Bevelle." Belgemine smiled pleasantly. Yuna suddenly looked sheepish. "This is good. We are no tools of the temple. I hope you have improved since last we met." she said kindly. Have I ever mentioned that I like Belgemine? She's real great, pity she's dead.

...Hey, maybe we could set her up with Auron!

I was abruptly snapped out of my thoughts when we had to back up for the aeon battle. Belgemine called out Bahamut **(****A/N****: I honestly don't remember which aeon Belgemine called in this fight! Forgive me for any inaccuracy!)** and Yuna called out Ixion, who is pretty much the next strongest aeon in her party. They just stood and glared at one another for about five minutes. I can kinda see why. Ixion is the strongest aeon until you get Bahamut, and then suddenly he's not so awesome anymore.

Feel bad for Ixion.

"Um, guys..." Yuna said, sweatdropping slightly. At that, Ixion fired off an Aerospark at Bahamut, who growled. I swear, it was like a catfight. Between aeons with awesome powers. This does not bode well for the ground beneath our feet. They were totally ripping into each other this time! (Because now that I think about it, Belgemine's Bahamut is way stronger than _Spathi_ -shudder- and Ixion was practically holding back) I honestly think they wanted to kill each other. Or whatever.

And then, when we all thought it was over and Ixion would actually lose, he blasted Bahamut to kingdom come with an almighty Thor's Hammer attack! I remember the look on Bahamut's face as he faded out. _'This isn't over yet, little pony... NOT BY A LONG SHOT!'_ Nice to see how much they're like us beyond outward appearances. Looking around, I saw that the terrain surrounding the battle was seriously damaged. We'd all had to dodge several wayward attacks during the course of the fight.

Remind me why I want to stay for the sequel where we fight possessed aeons again? I must be turning into a masochist.

"Yeah, I guess you are." Deki said. At my WTF-face, he added: "You were thinking out loud." He laughed a little after that. "Your face!"

"Uhh... When did I start talking out loud?" I asked, embarrassed.

"You said, 'Someone remind me why I want to stay for the sequel where we end up fighting possessed aeons? I think I'm turning into a masochist.'" he chuckled. I twitched. "But we're masochists together, right?" he asked playfully. "Even those two." he jerked his thumb in the direction of the lovebirds (who were once again doing things I don't wanna describe), grinning all the while.

"Mmhmm... Thank God we already got past the 'can't keep our hands off each other' stage. Otherwise we'd be seriously distracted." I commented. "I mean, at least we had the self-control to do that stuff in private..." I muttered, blushing at the deeply amused grin on Deki's face.

"...Wanna go someplace private now?"

"WHAAA?" Wakka and several of the others heard that remark just now. I think my face just burned off, and Belgemine was looking at us all funny like.

"...You're such a pervert, sometimes."

"What'd he say?" Trent and Shell asked in unison (CREEPY), taking a break from what they were doing before (I am scarred for life, here...) and staring at us with apparent interest. I didn't like it.

"N-none of your business! I'm off to train some chocobos!" I snapped, storming off in the direction of the chocobo lady, who seemed happy to let me train the chocobos in exchange for a free ride.

"Wait, did you just say chocobos? I'm so there!" Rikku called after me. "Hey... is there a special reason we're on chocobos?" she asked.

"Well, yeah... But there's also that little matter of the journey being that much easier on chocobo." I said, pretty much stating the obvious. "But there's a hidden temple in these lands where you can get an awesome item." I told her, not stating that she couldn't use it in battle else she might lose interest.

"An awesome item? Cool!" she said, punching the air. "Alright, chocobos! Prepare to get trained!" she yelled at the giant cute birdies.

Chocobo training is much harder than it looks. Here are the three biggest reasons why:

No. 1: You have to catch the chocobo before you can train it. And they are damn fast. And they're on open plains. Feel bad for me and Rikku.

No. 2: You will get bucked more times than you can count. Read the last sentence of reason number one again.

No. 3: The chocobo lady is an evil demon in reality. A DEMON. RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN... while reading the last sentence of reason number one one more time.

Feel bad for us, the poor fools who decided to take up chocobo training.

* * *

"So... tired..." I whined, collapsing on my sleeping mat.

"You said it..." came Rikku's weak response as she mirrored my actions, curling up in a little ball on her own sleeping mat. "That was hell..."

"Definitely..."

"You guys look bushed. Was chocobo training that bad?" Trent asked, amused by our situation.

"Shuddup, we had a long day..." I complained as the sun finally set. "That woman is evil..."

"Yeah, evil..."

And this is where I happily passed out into the welcoming blackness.

* * *

"_We were offered a pardon, you know." Trent told me as I sat up tiredly._

"_Seriously? A pardon?" I asked dryly. Not even these two would be gullible enough to fall for it, would they? "What's the catch?"_

"_We take Yuna back to Bevelle, or at least hamper you for a while." Shell said, drawing her boomerang. I was wrong. These two are stupid enough. I drew out my shuriken, knowing she wouldn't want to come near me._

_"So you're stabbing us in the back, then?" I said coldly, silently cursing myself for my habit of sleeping further away from the group than I should've done. "Don't come crying back to us when they do the same to you, if you even get there, that is." I added viciously. My tone betrayed nothing of the fact that I didn't honestly want to fight them, or that it hurt._

"_Oh, we will." Shell hissed, lobbing her boomerang at me. She hit me! She ACTUALLY hit me! I hissed in pain as the stupid pink thing took a good chunk out of my shoulder. So I then lobbed a shuriken at her, taking a slash from Trent's sword across my chest. "We're not gonna be dragged down with you anymore!"_

"_I always told you it was your own choice!" I snapped. "Remember, on the Thunder Plains, when I said you could leave if you wanted?"_

"_Screw that, you never said what we'd be getting into!" she screeched. I was surprised the others were able to sleep through it, but they were. I cursed under my breath._

"_Neither did any of the others, save Deki, but they aren't stabbing the rest of us in the back!" I snarled, feeling briefly satisfied when Trent flinched. It seems he's just going along with what she wants rather than thinking for himself. Seeing the opportunity, I slashed with my dagger, injuring him. Not too badly, mind. I didn't want to kill him, though Shell was definitely on my hit list._

_Though it was enough to make him back off for the time being._

"_Ugh, I knew you'd take it badly, but..." he murmured, clutching his injured arm. Shell's Vortex hit me again, this time clipping my jaw and knocking me back out. I heard arguing, then yelling before everything finally went dark._

* * *

"Ah!" I gasped, staring at the pinky coloured sky. It's morning. "That was one hell of a nightmare..." I said, making to sit up before letting out a shocked cry of pain. "It wasn't a dream, was it?" I asked no one.

"If by 'it', you mean Trent and Shell betraying us then, no, it wasn't a dream." Auron said. "The injuries you sustained were pretty bad." he commented. For a moment, I wondered why Yuna hadn't healed me herself, but then I remembered that the summoning battle had really taken it out of her. She's not a machine, and apparently it's best to let nature take its' course when the healing process has already started. I'm screwed. "But you did a good job standing your ground." he said grudgingly before standing. "I will go let the others know you're awake. The new boy in particular was worried about you." I flushed lightly at that, but let him go to wake the others.

"Kelle, are you alright?" Yuna asked, ever concerned for the wellbeing of others. I grimaced slightly.

"I'll live, Yuna." I said. "So stop fretting." I added, breaking into a grin as she got all fussy, like she normally does. It was kinda fun in spite of the fact that I was in pain from my injuries.

"So are you gonna tell me more about this awesome item?" Rikku asked.

"You're hounding me on my sickbed?" I asked, amused.

"Hey, stop answering questions with questions!" she whined.

"It's a mirror." I said simply. She didn't stop badgering me for a looooong while, so in the end I just used the excuse that I was tired and went back to sleep.

* * *

I woke up on Deki's back.

"Hey, sleeping beauty." he laughed. "Good to know you're still with us!"

"You won't be rid of me that easily." I smiled. "Are we off to Remiem Temple for the mirror?" I asked sleepily.

"Tidus just left, I gave him the directions. Ah, here we are." he said, letting me off his back. I was a little shaky on my feet, but I managed. We were at the travel thingy (We'd been kicking around fiends kinda far from there, so...) once again, where we got some Potions and the like to help me heal faster. Cue lots of complaints from me, who hates taking Potions. I had to take a lot to sufficiently close my wounds. Still hurt like a bitch, though.

"This stinks." I muttered grumpily. "I can't even kick fiend butt anymore."

"You have to rest in order to get better!" Yuna scolded (For the millionth time) as she once again caught me trying to sneak off and pick fights with the local fiends. "Deki, you need to keep a closer eye on her!" There was much finger-wagging that day.

"Sorry, Yuna." Deki held up his hands guiltily. "I'll try." he assured her. "And besides, Kelle... if you don't rest now and get better, how will you help us re-kill Seymour in the event that he finds us and fights us some more?" he said, not wanting to give the plot away. Damn, he's got me there.

"...Fine. I'll rest." Damn you, Deki, for knowing how much I like killing Seymour and using it against me... I'll do the same to you one day, just you wait! Hahahahaha!

...No, I don't need a psychiatrist. I don't like them.

"Good. Or I'd have to find a more..._ fun_ way of tiring you out." Deki smirked his evil-sexy smirk, making me turn bright red and hide away in my blankets for the rest of the day while the Potions took effect and the others continued mine and Rikku's noble chocobo-training work.

"You never said you were into perverts." Rikku giggled. Noooo, not you, too, Rikku...

"I-I – We just like messing around, he doesn't mean anything by it!" I wailed, feeling my face heat up. Humiliation. I has it.

"So how far have you guys gone?" she asked curiously.

"...Touching." I said, embarrassed beyond belief. "Now stop asking personal questions."

"Ohhh, you mean like... Okay, one more thing and I'll leave you alone." My head snapped back up at that. "Is he any good with his hands?" she snickered.

"R-RIKKU!"

I was distantly aware of my boyfriend snickering. That meanie, he probably told her to pester me about that. Everybody loves embarrassing me. What am I, some kind of comedy show?

"I'll get you all one day, just you wait..." I growled, shooting glares at everyone in the group who dared snicker at my embarrassment. That shut 'em up. (insert evil smirk expression here) "So... How long until I can start killing fiends again?" I asked casually, though everyone could see the murderous intent under my composed façade. All but Lulu and Auron shrank away from the manic gleam in my eyes.

"Calm down. You can practise your magic until you're better." Lulu said. Yuna opened her mouth to protest. "It's not as taxing on your body and you're not risking opening your wounds by doing it. That way you won't feel completely useless when we're fighting fiends." she said, before Yuna could say anything. Yuna seemed to accept it and nodded.

"Fine then. But no physical fighting, Kelle, only magic." Yuna told me, even wagging her finger for extra effect. That girl is going places, I swear to Bob. But yeah.

"We need to go back to Macalania once Tidus gets back." I said nonchalantly. This did not go down well.

"What? Are you crazy?"

"Not the temple, that 'awesome item' Tidus is off fetching need charging by a special crystal in the forest." I explained. This calmed them down somewhat, and as if on cue, Tidus arrived brandishing the Cloudy Mirror.

"I don't get it. How is this an awesome item?" he asked, confused.

"Just trust me." I said, not liking the Are-You-Kidding-Me expression on his face when I said it. I snatched the mirror and hopped on his chocobo (Which he'd just dismounted from; I recognised it as one of the chocobos I'd helped train). "To Macalania!" I said, pointing Macalania-wards. The chocobo 'kweh'ed and set off, full pelt to the pretty woods.

"Wait for meeee!" Deki yelled after me, having acquired a chocobo of his own. I laughed, enjoying my head start until he caught up to me nearer the woods.

"Okay, I surrender." I said, letting him take my hand and lead me into the woods. "You two stay here, we'll be back soon." I told the chocobos, who 'kweh'ed gently in response.

* * *

"Ugh, I hate fiends when I can't kill 'em with my own two hands..." I whined softly as we ascended the magic floating path-whatsit. I don't know what I should call it.

"You'll be back to normal soon enough." Deki chuckled. "Your injuries have mostly closed up now, right?" he asked, seemingly relieved when I nodded.

"But I still don't like it."

"Of course not, princess." he said, laughing as I chased him the rest of the way to the crystal. Once we'd finished charging up the mirror (It took a surprisingly long time), we hightailed it out of there and rode back to the others.

"Took you long enough." Tidus said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, it's not our fault! The stupid thing took longer to charge than we thought it would." I said, once again cursing Squeenix for its inaccuracy. It's not fair. Apparently Tidus had beaten the evil chocobo lady (I was upset because I wanted to be there when someone beat her ass) and gotten the Sun Sigil. I smiled happily, though, because that meant I could obtain the Caladbolg while the guy in the way was distracted.

"EH? It's just No AP!" Tidus said. "Why would someone do that?" he seemed scandalised that someone would put such an ability on a weapon.

"Keep it. It's got something to do with this mirror." I explained, holding up the mirror I'd used to obtain it. "But that sword needs something else first, and we don't got it yet. Now, to the Monster Arena!" I said, sitting on the back of my noble choco-steed once more and racing in the direction of the aforementioned arena.

"Why are you leading us on a wild goose chase?" Auron asked coldly.

"It'll make sense later." I said wisely. "Hey, old geezer! You need someone to capture fiends for you, right?" I called to the old guy at the entrance, who looked astonished.

"Why... yes... If you were to help me, it would not go unrewarded." said the old geezer who was never named but likes fiddling about with fiends. "Name your reward."

"How about that chest you can't open?" I asked. The old guy looked rather perturbed, but agreed.

"...Yes, if that is what you require." he said, seemingly reluctant. "In exchange, please capture one of every type of fiend in the Calm Lands. All you have to do is knock them out with the special weapons I will provide (for a price, of course), and they will be transported here." he explained. "Are you up to the task?"

"Damn right we are." I answered before anyone else could say anything. I got several nasty looks for my trouble.

"Why the hell have you signed us up for this? It's a waste of time!" Lulu scolded. "And what's this about a chest he can't open?"

"You know how there was a barrier that required the mirror to open to get the Caladbolg? It's the same on that chest, only it's a staff for Yuna. If we acquire certain items and use the mirror, then the weapon will lose the No AP ability and become shitloads more powerful. I figure we need all the help we can get on this journey." I explained.

"...Fine. Where are these two items?" Auron asked.

"Well, I already have one, I picked it up in Besaid. The other one has a... requirement that we can't fulfil yet." I said. "There are more than five aeons, you know." I said simply. Lulu nodded.

"Yes. There is... a cave near here, with a stolen fayth from a temple." she said quietly.

"Yojimbo, right?" Deki asked for confirmation. Lulu nodded, evidently confused about how a couple of strangers who claimed to not even be _from_ Spira knew about hidden fayth and weapons. Best to keep that secret between me and Deki, methinks. I happily dispatched the others and waited at the arena for one of every Calm Lands species to be captured.

It took a long time, needless to say, but eventually...

"Yes! They're all here!" The old coot was jumping around and celebrating like he'd just won the lottery (if they even have the lottery here in Spira). "Wait right here!" Moments later, he was hauling out the chest with the emblem of the mirror etched below the catch. I shone light from the mirror onto the symbol, and the chest popped open. When Yuna came back, I handed her the Nirvana.

"All yours, Yuna." I grinned. "A very merry unbirthday to you, even though it's kinda useless right now." I said. "But it's the thought that counts!" I added, hopping on my beloved chocobo as we headed to the end of the long, boring plains. There is nothing on them at _all_. I can't wait until the games get invented and Open Air and Argent open up. I was sad when we had to say goodbye to the chocobos. "Goodbye, noble steed! Don't forget me and be good!" I called after my choco-buddy. He 'kweh'ed back at me before going back to the evil chocobo woman.

"Chocobo fan." Deki coughed. I glared for a moment before smiling.

"I guess I am." I admitted. "When they're free, that is."

"Heh."

"Halt!" Ah, it's the blue haired pansy's lackeys. Lovely. "Lord Seymour wishes to see you." Ugh, he looked all stuck up.

"We have nothing to discuss with Maester Seymour." Yuna said coldly. I'm definitely rubbing off on her!

"I warn you, the maester doesn't need you alive." the older Guado said quietly. After a little bickering between us, they called out the hulking great machina whachimacallit.

...I can't for the life of me remember the proper name, so it's the whachimacallit until further notice, you hear?

I was stuck blasting the stupid thing with Firaga spells and healing everyone with items instead of getting to actually fight. It sucked ass.

"I hate my life. I really do sometimes." I said morosely, only able to look on enviously as everyone got to kick whachimacallit ass. Though Deki did look kinda hot fighting with a big-ass sword (Don't you _dare_ tell him I said so), so it's not all bad. Then I actually remembered that he'd picked the sword up in the Calm Lands after we'd finished up at the Monster Arena, thus reuniting me with my beloved gun, which I then pulled out and happily started using it to shoot the machina to kingdom come.

…My preciousssss.

Okay, freaky Gollum impression over. But I really love that gun. I'm fighting without exerting myself, so now Yuna can't complain! And then, after a looooong time slowly killing it, it just fell to pieces, by which time the two Guado had run off crying for their mommies. No joke, they really were blubbering.

"Oh yeah, go us!" I said happily, going over to the healing thingy. It wouldn't work on my mostly-healed injuries because it was technically magic, though it did soothe the pain a little. "Down to the gorge?" I asked innocently as I casually stalked in that direction once everyone was done healing. I happily grabbed the Rusty Sword (Getting a few funny looks when I came back holding it) and returned to the others.

"The fayth is inside." Lulu said solemnly. I nodded.

"Hey, this where...?" Wow, I never expected Wakka to be all nice. Lulu nodded in response to what he had just asked.

"What?"

"The summoner I guarded on my first pilgrimage died here." Lulu said quietly.

"But there's an aeon to be had here, as well. The one I mentioned earlier." I added helpfully. "But the fiends are scary-tough. You sure you're up to the task of fighting your way through these baddies?" Yuna nodded, and Rikku happily jumped in the hole. Your funeral, Rikku.

* * *

"Holy Bob, this place is creepy." I muttered under my breath. The only real light was from the many pyreflies floating around this craphole. It was seriously scary. Evidenced by the fact that I was clinging onto Deki out of sheer terror, watching out for the magic pots that terrified me so.

"Wow, you're really scared, aren't you?" Rikku asked, deeply interested and amused.

"Yeah... those evil pots explode if you hit the wrong painted eye... I have every right to be scared, getting blown up is seriously painful. I would know, I was at Operation Mi'ihen and I got caught in an explosion. I'm just thankful for those spheres..." I said, tightening my grip on Deki slightly. Not enough to hurt him or make him lose feeling in his arm, but still noticeably different.

"Nasty. And by evil pots I'm guessing you mean the magic urns?" she asked, giggling when I nodded. "But they give away free goodies!" she pouted.

"Yes, but they're not to be trifled with." Lulu said darkly. "One could annihilate our entire group if provoked, so be careful." That sobered Rikku up.

"Can't wait until we're out of here..." I said weakly, for the first time thankful that I was injured so I wouldn't have to fight any of the evil pots. I don't care if they're 'Magic Urns/Pots', they're evil and that's that! Because I say so. And Lulu and Deki agree with me, so you can't argue!

"Me neither. This place is nasty."

"Ah! There's the teleport pad! We're... oh, yeah." I twitched, remembering we were about to fight an undead summoner. This day just keeps on getting better.

"It's you, is it not, Lady Ginnem?" Lulu asked, stepping forward. Bad idea, Lu. Bad idea. The entire freaking cave shook as she attempted to apologise for her failure. "I see. There is no human left in you now, is there?" More scary shaking of vengeful ghost. "Then allow me to perform my last duty to you. My last as your guardian."

Cue fancy summoning of Yojimbo and his adorable doggy.

"And that's Yojimbo." I said, waving at the aeon, who said nothing. "Nobody has any manners anymore, do they?" I asked rhetorically. I got several rolled eyes for my trouble. Once again I was at the back, shooting away, and... yeah, I'm actually kinda glad I didn't have to fight that guy. He looked pretty scary. And that dog looked pretty vicious up close. And far away. And even I was dodging poison knives that were being lobbed left, right and center!

"It's weakened..." Deki said quietly, knowing Yuna was at overdrive point, finally. "Yuna, if you'd do the honours...?" he asked. She nodded and Grand Summoned Bahamut (In all his awesome glory), ordering him to blast Yojimbo and his mutt to kingdom come. There was nothing left but pyreflies when Bahamut was done. Ginnem then surrendered and allowed Yuna to send her. I then handed Yuna my precious stash of cash. She was bemused, but accepted.

"You'll understand when you meet him." I said, sitting down against the wall at the edge of the cave. "Try to haggle and not use it all." She nodded, confused.

"Um... okay, thanks, Kelle..."

* * *

"I had to pay the fayth!" Yuna said, shocked beyond reason. "And you knew!" I nodded.

"So I take it he accepted the offer?" I asked. She nodded. "Oh. That's good. Is there any of my stash left?" I asked hopefully. She nodded and handed over the pouch, which, to my surprise, was still half full. "You got skill, woman." I commented. She beamed at me.

"Nonetheless, thank you. I would never have been able to afford it otherwise." I nodded.

"What are friends for? But you will pay me back one day, right...?"

* * *

"We're alive! Alive!" I said happily, almost kissing the ground in relief.

"Someone's happy."

"Of course. I am never going back in there for as long as I live, and even after I'm dead if I never get sent." I said firmly. "Never ever ever."

"That makes two of us." Deki said, glaring at the pit that leads to the closest thing Spira has to hell as we left. At the last bridge before we reached Gagazet, Yuna stopped and looked back sadly. I felt pretty bad once more.

"And now we deal with angry Ronso." I said grimly, walking up the (slippery) icy path that led to the bottom of the mountain.

* * *

**A/N****: I DID IT! I wrote the chapter! Ugh, it's getting harder and harder to remember the lines... At this rate, I'm gonna have to start watching the scenes on Youtube so I get everything right, chronologically. Also:**

**Should I do a sequel to this when this is finished, for X-2? Let me know in your reviews.**


	13. Gagazet, the Frozen Hell

**Disclaimer****: I own nothing. NOTHING.**

**Socks: Look at all these reviews!**

**Authoress: Nine in a single go! I feel so appreciated!**

**Allen: And there will be a sequel, because Shaz, evieeeee and angelofdarknessfire will it!**

**Authoress: You guys are awesome, thank you! And you, kh2 fan13, Sara41, Zeetthegreat and! I'm glad my insanity amuses you. :)**

**Socks: Insanity indeed...**

**-Allen and the Authoress glare-**

**Socks: …Um, sorry?**

Allen: Can I beat him up again?

**Authoress: No, honey. -reads through reviews-**

**Allen: A love scene? What's that?**

**Authoress: -blushes- Maybe...**

**Socks: You pervert.**

**Authoress: I can't help it! Besides, there's a little pervertedness in everyone, right?**

**Allen: -confused-**

**Authoress: I'll explain later. Enjoy the chapter, doods! -has been watching too many Disgaea scenes with prinnies in them...-**

**Mountain Climbing... And the Undead Bitch's first mention**

"Summoner Yuna and guardians, leave here at once!" Kelk snarled (or at least he tried) threateningly. "Gagazet is Ronso land, sacred mountain of Yevon! The mountain will not bear the footsteps of infidels!" Yuna didn't even flinch. Attagirl. "Enemy of Yevon is enemy of Ronso! Leave, traitors!"

"I have cast aside Yevon! I follow the temples no more!" Yuna said, refusing to back down. Kelk didn't take it well.

"Then you will die by those words!"

"So be it. Yevon has warped the teachings and betrayed us all!" she answered defiantly.

"Nothing but a bunch of low-down tricksters, eh?" Wakka butted in.

"For once I'm with Wakka." I said, shocking everyone.

"Yeah, yeah!" Tidus cheered for Yuna upon regaining his composure, followed by Rikku.

"We have no regrets."

"Blasphemers!" Oh, look, it's Thing 1 and Thing 2. Long time no see. Kimahri wasn't very happy to see them, let me tell you.

"A summoner and her guardians..." Kelk didn't seem to understand us very well.

"Lord Kelk Ronso, if I may." Lulu started. "Have you not also turned your back on Bevelle?"

"But still, you guard Gagazet as a Ronso, not a maester. Yuna is much the same." Auron interjected, hammering the point home. Then the idiots decided to butt in.

"Elder Kelk! Let Biran rend them asunder!" said the one I'm guessing is Biran. I really can't tell them apart, I'm sorry.

"No escape, not one!" Ugh, these guys are so annoying. If it wasn't Kimahri's fight, and I wasn't injured, I probably would have attacked them myself now, even though they're not so bad in the end, they are seriously getting on my nerves. Yuna also looked slightly irked, though only for a second.

"No, we will not flee. We will fight, and continue on." she said calmly. I swear, this woman has the patience of a saint.

"You have been branded a traitor, but still you would fight Sin? Lost to the temple, hated by the people, yet you continue your pilgrimage?" Kelk was pretty bemused. "Everything lost! What do you fight for?" he asked.

"I fight for Spira. The people long for the Calm, I can give it to them. It's all I can give." she replied softly. "Defeating Sin, ending pain... This I can do." she stated. I couldn't see her face, but you could feel the determination practically radiating from her.

"Even sacrificing yourself?" Kelk muttered quietly. Then he called out to his people: "Ronso, let them pass!" He turned back to us. "Summoner Yuna, your will is as strong as steel. Tempered steel that even the mightiest Ronso could not hope to bend. Yuna, we bend to your will! The sacred heights of Gagazet welcome you." Yuna beamed at him.

"We thank you." she said, bowing to him. I grinned at her once we were far away enough.

"That was awesome, you know." I said. "And he's right, 'cause we all know I wouldn't be your guardian if you were a loser." I added, grinning. Yuna knows this is my special way of paying people complements, so she smiled.

"And Deki? We never really formally made him a guardian, you know..." she said, suddenly backtracking at my scandalised face. "B-but, um... if it's okay with Sir Auron, I'd like it if he were." Auron grunted and nodded. "Um, Deki?"

"I've been wanting you to ask that since I joined you guys." he grinned. "What? Hey, I go where Kelle goes." he said to Tidus' dumb face. "Okay, lover boy?" We both laughed as Yuna and Tidus both turned red.

"Halt!" Ah, how could I forget we were gonna get stopped by Thing 1 and Thing 2 again. Tidus was not amused.

"Haven't you bothered us enough?" he asked, exasperated.

"Summoners may pass, guardians may pass... Kimahri not pass! Kimahri shame Ronso brothers! Kimahri forget his birth!" Thing 1 ranted.

"Forget his people, forget his mountain. Little Ronso, weakling Ronso!" Thing 2 mocked.

"Mountain hate the weak, hate the small. If you will climb..."

"Then I must prove my strength!" Kimahri said.

"Think you will win?" Thing 1 snorted. "You not forget who took your horn! Never forget!"

"Kimahri never beat brother Biran! Never win!"

"This time, I win. I will win!" Kimahri said coldly. The sort-of animosity was almost tangible. And I love hanging around with determined people like Yuna, Rikku, Tidus and Kimahri.#

"Why, you..." Tidus said furiously, stepping forward. I stopped him.

"This is his fight. Even though two-on-two would be fairer, it's Kimahri's choice." I told him. Tidus seemed to understand this somewhat. I looked up at Kimahri and grinned. "We'll be cheerin' for you! Show 'em what you're made of." Kimahri nodded and readied himself for battle once the rest of us were a safe distance away. Those horns look freaking dangerous. So does Kimahri's spear, I admit, but... Yeah. They're just somehow more _threatening_. So I winced when Biran used his Bulldoze attack on him. It looked seriously painful.

"Ouch." I heard Deki mutter under his breath, watching Kimahri retaliate with his spear and a Lancet attack. He then breathed fire on the pair of them, and let me tell you, they didn't like it one bit. I recalled how Kimahri had disliked the heat in Bikanel and grinned, watching him fire off another Lancet. Shortly after that he was enjoying the effects of Super Mighty G. We all just watched, wincing whenever Kimahri took a hit and quietly cheering whenever he landed one.

"You... win." We ended up healing them (Yuna's such a goody-goody), and then they seemed to accept everything.

"Strong is Kimahri. Biran is happy." I'm guessing that's Biran who said that. He then turned to the mountain. "Sacred Mount Gagazet! I honour the name of strong warrior who defeats Biran. Remember always, Gagazet! That name is Kimahri!" he shouted.

"Mountain knows Kimahri strong. Kimahri may pass." Yenke said. I think there was respect in there, somewhere.

"Summoner! We Ronso will stop pursuers from temple!" Biran told Yuna.

"Truly?" she asked, shocked at their kindness.

"Penance for breaking Kimahri's horn, long ago." Biran explained.

"We crush enemies following behind." Yenke said.

"Kimahri crush enemies standing before." Kimahri finished.

"You are most fortunate summoner." Biran told Yuna respectfully. I smiled faintly, knowing he was right. The one summoner to defeat Sin without dying. I'd call that fortunate before even including the whole 'Eternal Calm' thing in the equation.

"I thank you." aforementioned summoner said softly, bowing.

"Ronso will shine your statue brightest!" Yenke proclaimed. Yuna smiled sadly.

"Thank you. But I fear that no one will make a statue for a traitor such as I am." she said.

"Then Ronso will make!" Biran said simply.

"With grand horn on head." Yenke interjected. That cheered Yuna up in an instant. I actually felt pretty lousy knowing these two were gonna die. They weren't all that bad, even if they were complete assholes when we were on or way to the Moonflow that time.

"That... would be wonderful." she replied. You could see she was grateful for the sentiment, Tidus was thinking about it as well as we watched the two Ronso leave.

"That was nice." I said cheerfully as we continued on.

"Yeah, it was, wasn't it..." Deki said quietly. I took hold of his hand and squeezed it lightly. He smiled weakly. "How you made it through Operation Mi'ihen without having a mental breakdown I'll never know."

"Heh... That makes two of us." I admitted. "I just kept going because Yuna needed me to be her guardian, end of. I try not to dwell on it too much."

"So was it Luzzu or Gatta who...?"

"Luzzu. He really was ripped in half." I said quietly, shuddering at the memory. "When we were separated, I was found by Luzzu. He was the first thing I saw when I came to." He stopped and pulled me into a cuddle. I heard the Ronso singing up ahead (We'd fallen behind), but I figured this was more important right now. Just this.

"Sorry. Shouldn't have asked." he murmured gently, his hand moving in little circles in between my shoulder blades. It felt nice.

"It's fine." I mumbled. "You didn't have any way of knowing."

"Nonetheless..." Then we were rudely interrupted.

"Hey, lovebirds! Don't fall behind!" Tidus yelled, amused. I glared for a moment before sighing.

"Who does he think he's talking to?" I asked, silently outraged. Deki laughed.

"You know, suddenly I'm happy I bought a coat in the Calm Lands. It really is freezing up here." he commented. "Good thing the Ronso have fur coats to keep them warm, huh?" I nodded, letting him lead me to the others.

"So, what were you talking about?" Rikku asked. "Couple stuff?"

"No, just the usual stuff about the pilgrimage and stuff he's missed." I said simply. "Like Operation Mi'ihen and killing Seymour the first time and stuff." I elaborated.

"Huh... Oh, I remember hearing about you guys being in Operation Mi'ihen..." she said thoughtfully. "But yeah, the Seymour thing is probably something you were right to explain."

"Mmhmm... Though Deki already knew he was an unsent psychopath." I said cheerfully. "He's smart like me." I added. Rikku facefaulted.

"Right..." she said, slightly weirded out at my uncanny ability to predict things and know what was going on when no one else in the group did. "So, Kelle, what're we doing tonight when we reach Zanarkand?" she asked.

"The same thing we do every night, Rikku. Try to take over the world!" I laughed evilly. Pinky and the Brain FTW.

Oh, shut up.

* * *

"Zanarkand is on the other side, you know?" Rikku said sadly.

"We know." Tidus, Deki and I all answered.

"Yunie is gonna get the Final Aeon, you know."

"I know." Tidus answered. I said nothing, because no way in hell is she getting the Final Aeon if I have anything to say about it.

"I still haven't thought of anything." she said quietly, looking ready to cry.

"Me neither." Tidus admitted.

"What are we gonna do?" she asked, seemingly terrified.

"We'll do something! We just don't know enough yet. Until we do, we can't really help Yuna. Let's go to Zanarkand. We'll find something there. It'll all come together, I know it!" he said, the determination practically shining off of him.

"Hey..." Rikku said, sounding impressed. "Just now, you sounded like a leader, you know?"

"I second that." I added.

"Star of the Zanarkand Abes! Didn't anyone tell you?" Tidus bragged while Deki rolled his eyes. He made to walk away while Rikku gasped in shock at the blue haired loony who'd just walked up behind us. Deki and I drew our weapons.

"Ah, the son of Jecht." said the ugly blue haired loony.

"Rikku, run ahead and tell Auron!" Tidus said.

"We'll back him up, don't worry!" I added as she opened her mouth to protest. She nodded and ran.

"Now is your time to die, prepare yourself, son of Jecht." Seymour said coldly.

"Not if I can help it!" Tidus snarled.

"Just how many times do we have to kill you? Rough estimate." I snapped. Maester Sicko just glared at us.

"Save some for Kimahri!" I grinned instantly as our favourite Ronso led the rest of our group onto the soon-to-be-battlefield.

"Lady Yuna, it is a pleasure." Seymour oozed in that disgusting manner we all hate.

"Yuna!" Lulu said sternly, prompting her to attempt a sending, which she did. Attempt, that is.

"A sending, so soon? Allow me to say something to the last Ronso before I leave." he smirked at everyone's bemused expressions. "Yours was... truly, a gallant race! They threw themselves at me, to bar my path." he started laughing madly. "One, after another...!" he held up his fist to signify what he'd done to the Ronso who stood in his way.

"No..." Kimahri looked shocked, and then rather devastated.

"Kimahri..." Yuna said softly.

"You could end the suffering of this... poor Ronso." Seymour said, sickeningly sweet.

"I don't understand you!" Yuna yelled. Wow, she's actually showing her anger. I'm proud.

"Allow Kimahri to die, and release him from his pain." he said, as though Yuna were stupid or something. "Spira... is a land of suffering and sorrow, caught in a spiral of death. To destroy... to _heal_ Spira, I will become Sin." he smiled at Yuna. Ew. "Yes, with your help." he said it as though he were granting her some great honour or something. Sicko. You could see the shock all over Yuna's face before the lunatic continued. "Come with me, Yuna. Once I have become the next Sin, your father will be free again." That last part was directed at Tidus, though only me, Deki and Tidus himself knew this. And Tidus was _not_ happy.

"Oh, what do you know?" he screamed, running at Seymour, who was now levitating and summoning Mortiorchis.

"Pitiful mortal." he sneered, before becoming 'one' with Mortiorchis. "Your hope ends here!" he yelled. "And your meaningless existence with it!" he screamed, his voice taking on a sort-of echo-y quality.

"Ah, great. Seymour Flux." I grumbled, readying myself for battle. I was finally better, and battle-thirsty. I grimaced, remembering what a pain in the ass this battle had been the first time ever in the game. I hadn't levelled my party up properly, and things just went downhill from there. But _this_ time, I made certain that everyone had Zombieproof armour equipped to save us some headaches.

"Do you not want to heal Spira's sorrow?" he asked Yuna, attempting to hit her with a Lance of Atrophy. "Let death carry you off into peaceful slumber."

"You can't run from your fate!" she yelled back, just barely managing to dodge it. Even though we're immune to the effects of those damn things, they're still damn painful, as I know only too well (I'd gotten hit just moments before their little exchange).

"Ugh, I hate this guy..." I whined.

"I second that notion." Deki hissed, pouring a X-Potion on my injury. Rikku tossed a L-Bomb at Seymour and Mortiorchis.

"Thirded." she said irritably. Kimahri set up a Super Mighty G.

"You have angered Kimahri! The spirits of the Ronso will guide Kimahri's spear!" he called furiously. Seymour was getting in a real stabbity mood, but then suddenly stopped after while of us hacking at him and Mortiorchis (Who kept on hitting us with Cross Cleave once the battle really got going). Lulu glared at him when he Dispelled our barrier (Except mine, I had Autos. And Yuna kept Dispelling his Reflects so he kept on casting Flare on himself. Twas funny.), and hit him with Bio. In retaliation, he started charging for Total Annihilation.

"Oh, shit." I muttered. "Yuna, start casting Shell, now!" I hissed. She knows that my advice is always correct during battle, and Rikku and I helped her by using Lunar Curtains on everyone who needed them. I ended up taking the hit for Rikku, who forgot to use a Lunar Curtain on _herself_. And they did a fat lot of good anyway. I was in a serious amount of pain, barely conscious.

"Kelle! Wh-what do I do?" she asked frantically, currently the only other conscious person on our side right now. Aside from Auron, but he was pretty much as useless as I was as far as healing the others and waking them up was concerned.

"Shit." I hissed, managing to stand up while ignoring my body's protests. "Mix up a Hi-Potion and a Phoenix Down. That should fix everyone else." I said weakly. "Yuna can heal me." She nodded and did as I said.

"Ooh, my head..." Deki groaned, standing up. "I take it that was Total Annihilation, then." he stretched, working out the kinks in his muscles before looking over at me. "Man, you look rough."

"Let's just say you're lucky you blacked out." I said tiredly, sighing in relief as Yuna healed me up. "Thanks, Yuna." I called, covering my shuriken in Thunder magic and lobbing them at the loony-man.

"Get back, I'm summoning!" she yelled as soon as I was done attacking. She called out Yojimbo (With his fancy entrance) and paid him. I was seriously thankful when we didn't get the long straw and he performed Zanmato. Seymour then exploded into pyreflies. I collapsed to my knees from exhaustion.

"And stay up there!" Tidus yelled angrily.

"Yeah... What he said, you bastard..." I mumbled sleepily. I felt myself being helped up by a pair of warm, familiar arms. "Hey, Deki..." I got a soft chuckle in response.

"Okay, come on sleepyhead..." he said gently, carefully lifting me onto his back. I was happy to sleep for a while.

* * *

"Uh... where are we?" I asked sleepily. It was kinda muffled because my face was buried in the back of Deki's neck, but he understood me well enough.

"You know the Gagazet trial where Rikku, Tidus and Wakka have to swim into those glowing things?" he asked quietly. I nodded. "We're waiting for them to come back."

"Oh, right. Do you want me to get off now?" I asked, shifting slightly. Even though I'm small and I don't weigh much, I didn't want to be a burden on someone I actually cared about like Deki. Wakka on the other hand... I'd make him carry me until he collapsed for the hell of it. "So I missed Tidus pass out and have a weird fayth dream-slash-revelation?"

"Pretty much, yeah." he chuckled.

"Wow, I must have been really tired to sleep through all that commotion." I admitted, embarrassed.

"It's understandable." he said amicably. "We've practically lived in the lap of luxury our entire lives. Getting thrown into battle just like that would tire out anyone in our situation."

"I hope they don't get into any trouble down there..." I heard Yuna murmur under her breath.

"They'll be fine, it's just part of the Trials here." I said, disgruntled. "I don't see the damn point of putting puzzles every which way we turn." I complained. "They're such a pain."

"It is to test our intelligence, our worth." Lulu said calmly.

"Yeah, but why so many? Isn't one 'ultimate' challenge enough for these sadists? After so long, it just seems pointless." I argued. She sighed.

"I see your point." she said. "But it's not like we have another way of getting by. These things seem to be rather well thought through." she commented. We just continued chatting until Rikku and the boys came back. Those puzzles were a damn nightmare.

"They will be upon us soon." Auron said quietly as we approached the end of the stupid, pointless cave. "She has sent fiends to test our summoner's strength."

"Who is 'she'?" Yuna asked.

"Yunalesca." Auron, Deki and I answered (Auron shot us one hell of a look).

"Lady Yunalesca?" she looked positively amazed that a high summoner of 1000 past had anything to do with summoners _today_. But of course anyone who's played the game knows what her role is. The reaper of souls, maker of the Final Aeon.

"In Zanarkand, she awaits the arrival of the strongest." Auron told her simply.

"She... is still alive?" she asked incredulously. I did a mental facepalm. How naïve can you get?

"As much as Mika and Seymour."

"And you know what they were like, so I'd say approach with caution." I interjected. Yuna looked mildly unsettled at this minor revelation.

"Lost your nerve?" Auron asked her.

"No. Nothing frightens me now, but we will be cautious." she said simply, knowing I had a very good point. All the Yevon unsent have been jerks so far, and Yunalesca's the man's _daughter_. Not that they know that, but they know she's really deep in this whole Yevon shit.

"Braska would be proud." I think I saw a smile under that collar of his.

"Then... I must not let him down." she said. We healed at the sphere, and I attempted to prepare for the fight to come.

"More fighting." I grumbled. "Gagazet was a nightmare in general, now that I think about it."

"Nothing on Zanarkand. Spectral Keeper, remember?" Deki shuddered.

"Ugh, don't remind me... Stupid glyph mines... Stupid Yunalesca and her three forms." I muttered, making sure no one else caught that last remark.

"It comes!" Auron yelled, seeing the Sanctuary Keeper before the rest of us. I wonder how he does that. Must be an unsent thing...

"Man, that thing is _ugly_." I said, glaring up at him. "For burning my eyes with your hideous presence, you shall perish!" I yelled, jabbing my finger at it like a crazy person before casting Bio on it. It deserved it, and it would make this fight a damn sight easier. I ignored the funny looks I got from almost everyone. Deki and Rikku, however, cracked up due to the fact that we share the same crazy sense of humour.

"You two are _weird_." Wakka said, staring at us like... well, like we were from another planet. Technically two of us _are_. So that just made Deki laugh harder. We both sobered up when it swiped its tail at the whole group. Yuna cast Reflect on it to keep it from healing itself. Black magic was gonna be a no-no for this fight. Rikku healed us all with an Al Bhed Potion, and we just got into our fighting positions. Auron went a little crazy with his Break attacks, but I'm not complaining, it weakened the stupid thing. Though those Photon whachimacallits were a royal pain, inflicting poison, curse and blindness on everyone else. We (not me, the others) were very lucky the damn thing seemed to have a grudge against me, because whenever it fired off a Mana Beam, yours truly was the target.

And those things hurt like a bitch regardless of Auto-Shell, let me tell you.

"I really hate this thing." I muttered, feeling Yuna dispel the Reflect it had just cast on me in time for me to receive a free heal. It snarled in frustration and lunged at me, though it never got to land the intended hit, as Deki and Tidus delivered the finishing blows.

"That makes two of us." Deki said, glaring at the pyreflies its body had become. "Stupid thing wouldn't die."

"Hey, can't we rest a little?" Rikku whined.

"No need. We reach the summit soon." Auron said curtly.

"I know, that's why I want to stop for a bit..." she said sadly. "Soon means that... there's not much time left." she sounded ready to cry.

"Rikku..." Yuna looked kinda upset.

"Fine. I'll think on my way." Rikku huffed, though you could see the tension in the way she held herself.

"This is fun." I muttered sarcastically. Deki muttered something similar as we glared at the path ahead.

"Hey, come on, let's go!" Wakka said. I think he just wants this whole thing over with.

"We are almost there, aren't we?" Tidus asked quietly.

"We've come a long way." Wakka replied. Auron started laughing. Tidus didn't get it.

"What's so funny?"

"You remind me of myself. Before, the closer I came to Zanarkand, the more I wondered... when we arrive, Braska will call the Final Aeon... he will fight Sin, then die. I thought my mind was made up long before. But when I stood here, my resolve wavered." Auron explained. How very similar to what was most likely going through everyone else's heads. Then again, I knew Auron had no intention of letting Yuna die.

"Huh, never would have figured. Legendary guardians choke sometimes, too, ya?" Wakka said, smiling faintly as he scratched the back of his head.

"Legendary guardian? I was just a boy. A boy about your age, actually." Auron looked a little amused and sad at the same time. "I wanted to change the world, too. But I changed nothing. That is my story." Upon finishing this little speech, he went on ahead, and we followed to where we could see the ruins in the sunrise. It was beautiful and tragic all at the same time. One word to describe it could be breathtaking.

Because it really was.

* * *

"Yuna, I say no!" Rikku cried. "If we go down there, then you'll..." she couldn't finish. I guess if I had a proper family who I cared about (My psychotic mother and father do not count. I haven't cared about them in a long time), then if one of them were to do something like this, I would also do everything in my power to keep them alive.

"Rikku... you're a true friend, and I thank you, but... I must go..." Yuna looked at the ruins. "Down, to Zanarkand."

"I'm not saying we shouldn't go. But shouldn't we think about it some more?" Rikku pleaded. "There's gotta be some kind of way we can save you, Yuna!"

"All my life, I knew this moment would come." our summoner said solemnly. Holy crow. She's had this crazy-ass ambition since childhood? I intend to find the priest who hammered those stupid beliefs into her and beat him to a bloody pulp.

"Yunie..." I think Rikku would agree with me. I saw Yuna drop her secret sphere as she rushed forward to embrace her cousin, who looked on the verge of tears.

"Thank you, Rikku... Thank you for everything." she said softly.

"Don't say that, Yunie! It's not over yet!" Rikku said quietly, sounding ready to cry as she placed her head on Yuna's shoulder.

"Tell Cid thank you."

"No... you can tell him yourself." Rikku replied, still stubborn, even now.

"Please..." Yuna looked terrible in that moment.

"Yunie, don't say that because... we're gonna see each other again, okay?" Rikku said weakly as her cousin pulled out of the hug.

"Kimahri, let's go." I watched Tidus pick up Yuna's sphere. I stuck back to watch, curious as to whether or not I was included in it.

"_Sir Auron. Kimahri told me... when my father wanted me taken from Bevelle to Besaid... It was you who told Kimahri, right? I had always wanted to meet you someday. I am truly glad I that had that chance. Having you as a guardian was so great an honour that I don't know how to thank you. Perhaps if I defeat Sin, that will be my thanks to you. That's what I'll do. Yes. I will challenge Sin. I will defeat Sin. If you are all there watching this, then I guess Sin is already gone. And so am I, I suppose. Anyway, I just wanted to say: Sir Auron, I thank you._

"_Kimahri... Do yo remember the first day we met? I was only seven. My father had defeated Sin, and all Bevelle was celebrating. Everyone was saying what a hero my father was. I was so happy. But when night came, it occurred to me. My father had defeated Sin, and now he was dead. Now, I was all alone. I couldn't sleep, so I wandered into the town, away from the celebrating crowds. I stood on the bridge in Bevelle where my father and I had parted. Standing there, alone, I could see the fields where he had fought Sin. Then, you appeared, Kimahri. You said you were 'looking for the daughter of Braska', remember?At first, I was so scared. Until I realised what a gentle person you are._" she giggled on the sphere. "_You weren't used to talking to children. When I told you I was Braska's daughter... you said you would take me as far from Bevelle as you could. That it was the wish of a man facing death. I think... I cried then. Because that... that was when I knew my father was dead... and I would never see him again. You just held me, without saying a word. I cried after we got to Besaid, too. When you tried to go after leaving me in the care of the temple... I held on to you, crying 'Don't go, don't go!' And you listened, Kimahri. You stayed. Kimahri, thank you. Thank you so much. And I've always liked your broken horn._

"_Wakka, Lulu, I'll never forget my days spent with you, growing up in Besaid. We always played together, us and Chappu. That's why I was always so happy, I think. And when you refused to let me become a summoner, and I did it anyway... I'm sorry. I've always wanted to apologise. You know, when you tried to stop me then – really, I was happy. I could tell you really cared about me. You were like my big brother and sister. No... I think you really _were_ my big brother and sister. What else..._" she giggled on the sphere a second time. "_I love watching you play blitzball, Wakka! I even love it when you scold me, Lulu, really!_

"_And Kelle and Trent. I don't really know you two very well, but... You really have been a great help, I'll always be grateful to you for you kindness. You're odd, but you're two of the most fun people I've ever had the honour of meeting. I'm really glad you're with me on this journey, there have been so many smiles between us all. And, I hope that you get to go home someday, if that's what you wish. Thank you, for everything._" I smiled sadly. She'd thought to include me, and even Trent, who she barely even knew...

"_I guess that leaves... the newest guardian. Star player of the Zanarkand Abes! You are... I am... Well, um... I'm glad... I'm glad that we met. We haven't even known each other that long, but... It's funny. So this is what it feels like. It's a much more wonderful feeling than anything I had ever imagined. Wonderful... but it hurts, sometimes. I wonder. I... I just want to say, thank you for everything. Maybe... maybe that's why it hurts. When I... when I think about us never being together again at all... I'm afraid. No, I shouldn't say that. I'll do that part over. Um..._" Then she was interrupted by the very person she was recording for.

"_Whatcha up to?_" The sphere shut off, having shown us all its contents. Tidus was pretty quiet after that.

Heck, we all were. The walk on the road to Zanarkand was completely silent.

* * *

**A/N****: I think that's one of the saddest things I have ever typed. Ever. Don't forget to tell me what you thought of it in the reviews! Twelve pages and five thousand words (NOT including the author's notes...) deserve some recognition!**


	14. Zombies and Defeating the Undead Bitch

**Disclaimer****: I do not own anything other than my own OCs and their insanity.**

**Socks: I have a fan!**

**Authoress: -kisses Allen- He's mine. But Socks is free, Soni! Kitty matchmaker time!**

**Allen: -blushes and stutters incomprehensibly-**

**Socks: ...Fine.**

**Authoress: Good! PINKY AND THE BRAIN FTW! I'm glad someone noticed that. And yeah, the love scene will probably be NEXT chapter, lime, and in Kelle's airship cabin-space. Just a heads-up. And that's two fans, Socky...**

**Socks: YAY! You guys just MMD.**

**Authoress: And mine, you gave me an excuse for kissing Allen! :3**

**Allen: You didn't need one. -kisses the Authoress-**

**Authoress: -turns pink-**

**Socks: Uh, enjoy the chapter. I highly doubt that the Authoress will be able to say it in her condition. She's a shy fangirl. She never expected a return kiss, so we might be here for a while...**

**Creepy Zombie-infested Ruins, and Defeating the Undead Bitch**

"This is kinda eerie." I admitted under my breath. Maybe because it was so quiet, and we were painfully aware of the fact that we would be fighting zombies and _really_ old machina soon enough. Though at present, I was a little preoccupied by the dancing flames of the campfire. They're pretty. I watched Tidus walk up the 'hill' and stare at the ruins. It was a really beautiful view, what with the Aurora Borealis and the vast amounts of pyreflies in the distance and all, though other than my initial utterance, nothing was said for the majority of the night. The only speaking was to decide who was on watch that night. I had first watch, and I was happy to sit there and watch everyone sleep, in spite of my own exhaustion. Once I was done, I simply woke up Auron and curled up with Deki to sleep. He makes a pretty good pillow.

"Hey, sleepy head, wake up. We're getting ready to go." Ugh. It only seemed like a five-minute nap!

"Nngh?" I lifted my head up and yawned. "Okay, okay..." I mumbled, straightening myself out and getting ready.

"Let's go." Yuna said quietly. This is awkward. What are you supposed to say to someone who thinks she's preparing to die? Wakka shuddered as he noticed the vast amount of pyreflies floating all over the place.

"Looks like the Farplane." he muttered, thoroughly creeped out. I think I'm starting to like this place.

"Close enough." Auron and I both said at the same time. And then we were taking the ruined road to the Dome, which I'm guessing wasn't actually a temple way back when, but the blitz stadium. I mean, the broken statues look just like the ones you see in 'dream Zanarkand' at the start of the game at the entrance to the stadium. I do pay attention. But I _hated_ that road, with the Black Flans and the Behemoths (or whatever the hell they were called) and giant plant monsters. But it redeemed itself somewhat because I got to watch Wakka freak out every ten seconds like a little girl. In spite of the mood, it was seriously funny to watch.

"Stop laughing, ya?"

"No can do, sorry..." Deki and I laughed at his retarded face.

"These two are evil, ya..."

* * *

"Journeyer of the long road, name yourself." said the spectral man. I watched on warily as Yuna stepped forward to reply.

"I am the summoner Yuna. I have come from the island of Besaid." she said calmly. She's got guts; that old geezer gave me the heebie jeebies.

"Your eyes, my dear. Show me the long road you have travelled." he said, peering at her as she looked into his eyes. Seemingly satisfied, he smiled faintly. "Very good. You have journeyed well. Lady Yunalesca will surely welcome your arrival. Go to her, now, and bring your guardians with you. Go." And then he walked past us, fading away.

"Creepy." I commented.

"You said it." Deki agreed. Yuna shot us a 'don't be rude!' look.

"It is creepy! This place is so full of pyreflies it's like a giant sphere! And seeing the memories of people who came here to die is creepy for me." I said, crossing my arms as we walked in. And we saw the memories of one Lady Yocun.

"If it might benefit the future of Spira, I will gladly give my life. It is the highest honour for which a guardian might ask. Use my life, Lady Yocun, and rid Spira of Sin." said the ghostly female who knelt at the feet of her summoner, who also wore armour. They faded.

"What... what was that?" Rikku asked, freaked out. I guess now she got why I was so uneasy.

"Our predecessors." Auron explained.

"Told you so, didn't I? Creepy." I huffed. Rikku and Deki both nodded in agreement.

"She said 'Lady Yocun', didn't she? Wait! She guarded High Summoner Yocun?" Lulu asked, astonished.

"As Kelle said, the vast amount of pyreflies makes this effectively one giant sphere. People's thoughts remain here. Forever." Auron told her. Rikku was really freaked out, and even Kimahri seemed slightly disturbed. Auron just looked sad, especially when we found the 'ghosts' of Seymour and his mother.

"No! Mother, no! I don't want you to become a fayth!" the mini-Seymour (who was admittedly somewhat cute – especially compared to his adult self and the whole creepy obsession with destroying Spira.) cried. His mother knelt down to look at him.

"There is no other way. Use me and defeat Sin. Only then will the people accept you." she said softly.

"I don't care about them!" he sobbed, clinging to his mother. Even I, the Queen of the Seymour-haters, will admit that he did not deserve to have his mother snatched away when she was all he had. Life can be so cruel sometimes; I actually felt bad for him. But only the child-Seymour. The grown-up version is insane and needs to die. "I need you, Mother! No one else!"

"I don't have much time left." she whispered. Even in ghost form, you could tell she was seriously ill. She was probably trying to do something useful with her last act in life, I thought as I watched them, too, fade away.

"Hey, wasn't that...?" Wakka trailed off, evidently disturbed.

"Seymour?" Rikku asked, looked around the group for confirmation.

"It explains where Anima comes from. Her fayth is Seymour's mother." I said quietly. "It's fitting. I think that aeons embody their strongest emotions, and Seymour's mom suffered a lot..."

"So her aeon uses an attack called Pain." Deki finished. "Her fayth is at Baaj Temple." he added helpfully.

"Where we first met, you two." I smiled grimly. "It would seem that fate has a sick sense of humour."

"Agreed." Whoa. Did Auron just... agree with me? Out loud? The world's ending, I swear. I thought on this terrifying prospect as we continued... and encountered more ghosts.

"Ah!" Tidus gasped, shocked beyond words. And that's saying something.

"Hey, Braska, you don't have to do this." Jecht said. Our Auron looked almost as tense as the ghost Auron.

"Thank you for your concern." Braska said calmly.

"Fine, I said my piece."

"Well, I haven't!" Auron snapped, glaring at Jecht for his nonchalant façade. "Lord Braska, let us go back! I don't want to see you... die!"

"You knew this was to happen, my friend." Braska said quietly.

"Yes, but I... I cannot accept it!" 'Ghost' Auron hung his head.

"Auron, I am honoured that you care for me so. But I have come to kill grief itself. I will defeat Sin, and lift the veil of sorrow covering Spira." he said passionately. "Please understand, Auron." he implored before they faded. This is a recurring theme now, fading. I sighed as we continued.

"A haunted house got nothing on this place." I commented as we entered the next area and watched the 'ghosts' run up the ruined steps, entrance to the trials. I twitched before scouring the ruins for hidden items. All of which were ironically in treasure chests. I guess the real ghosts must be leaving them there to help any potential high summoners. I didn't care. My feet were killing me, so I used my Visionary Blend pin. I didn't really have any injuries, so to speak, but it did a fantastic job of making the pain go bye-bye. Deki noticed this and pestered me to fix his feet until I eventually gave in and fixed him up.

"Are the Trials ahead?" Ghost-Jecht asked, sounding weary. I think he hated the Trials back then as much I hate them now. They are freaking pointless.

"Probably." Braska said. How can one person be so patient? Why is he not infuriated by the evil puzzles of death?

"Here, too? Gimme a break..." Jecht complained. "I was expecting, you know, parades and... fireworks!" he added, lifting his arms up to emphasise 'fireworks'.

"You can ask for them after I defeat Sin." Braska told him. Like father, like daughter. Braska had a drunkard, and Yuna had the insane me. Wow. They are the most tolerant people in the whole world, I thought as they faded away _again_.

"Ah. This sucks." I said simply. "But leave it to me, I know how this thing works." I said, wandering off to do the stupid puzzle. They generally leave me to do the Trials, so I was currently cursing their very existences under my breath as I constantly made sure not to step on an incorrect tile. For those of you who are playing the game and haven't reached Zanarkand, the Zanarkand Trial is hell. Step on an incorrect tile and you have to do the entire symbol again. Though when I was done, we all healed at the sphere that had miraculously appeared when the floor started glowing.

"Now for the Spectral Keeper." Deki said, grimacing. I mirrored his expression as we ignored Auron's WTF-face together. We ran out onto the floating glyphs of exploding evilness and prepared to fight. Being smart, I bagged a glyph to its rear while Auron and Yuna were stuck at the front. We were all separated by one glyph each. Yuna set up her usual barriers (Shell and Protect), and Auron used his Tornado Overdrive to start off. Show off. I engulfed my shuriken in Flare magic (seeing as how the Keeper doesn't have a specific elemental weakness) and lobbed them at the ugly thing.

"Take that, ugly monster thing!" I yelled triumphantly. It responded by turning the glyph under my feet a funny colour, so I moved to a normal one.

"Why'd you move?" Yuna asked. I'd moved to the glyph next to hers. As if on cue, my former glyph blew up. "...Oh."

"Yeah..." I sweatdropped, moving back to my former position and wincing as the Keeper lashed out at the panels in front of it (I was at the center, so I was the only one who got hit) in reaction to Auron's attack. "Hey, a little heads-up next time wouldn't go unappreciated!" I shouted. Auron 'hmph'ed.

"Fine."

"I hate dead people." I grumbled under my breath. "They're all out to kill me, fiend or no." This earned me a very nasty look from Auron, our resident dead guy (though the others don't know it).

"Shut your mouth and focus on the fight." he snapped, totally crabby. I glared back but smirked as it hit him with a Berserk Tail. I attacked it, and it lashed out as expected. Revenge is so very very sweet. That'll teach him to think twice before getting on the bad side of the great me.

"Jerk..." I muttered, landing attacks and lobbing Flare spells left right and centre. Ever since I learned Flare, it's been my absolute favourite spell to use. Thank you -whateverhigherpowerthereis- for One MP Cost. I love you so much, who or whatever you are. Eventually it died and our surroundings returned to normal, the lift making itself available. Yuna went on the lift, and moments later...

"Huh? What do you mean, no Final Aeon?" Jecht's voice rang in our ears. I grimaced, making a mental note to make sure everyone had their -eater armour equipped for the next fight. They gave me some weird looks, but since no one else had Ribbon (And thus immunity from Zombie and Mega Death – just so you all know, Ribbon is "Super Ribbon", and thus offers protection from Death. I know regular Ribbon isn't Deathproof, but since Super Ribbon is available in X-2... I just wanted it without the chronic Slow), the best strategy would be to let them get Zombified (which makes them immune to Mega Death) and use elemental magic to heal them. They only get damaged by healing items and magic, so the elemental eater thing is a convenient loophole that you should exploit. So to anyone struggling with Yunalesca, I hope this little titbit of info helps you re-kill her ass. She deserves it. Anyway. Yuna came back up shortly after we heard Jecht's 'memory' yelling.

"Sir Auron! Everyone!" she cried, looking around at us, evidently not understanding what she was to do.

"Geez, you guys haven't figured it out yet from what our ghostly friends have been saying?" I asked in exasperation as we begun our descent to the Chamber of the Empty Fayth. I just came up with that on the spot.

"What're you talking about, ya?"

"Ugh, never mind. You'll find out in a minute on your own. You probably wouldn't take my word for it, anyway." I said, displeased by the fact that no one but Deki and Rikku seemed to trust me within our group. I think the only person that's taken notice aside from the already mentioned people would be the nun in Macalania, who ran for it when I told her to.

"This isn't a fayth. It's just an empty statue." Yuna said, looking at Zaon's fayth statue.

"Well, duh. Lord Zaon's soul left that thing centuries ago." I drawled, scowling in irritation as the transparent form of the old geezer unsent appeared before us once again.

"How did you know that? I have never seen you before." he asked, peering at me curiously.

"Ugh, just explain that we have to talk to Yunalesca and all that crap, will ya?" I snapped, ignoring the funny looks I was getting.

"Very well. Lady Yunalesca will show you the path, as the girl says, and the Final Aeon will be yours. The summoner and the Final Aeon will join powers. Go to her, now. Inside, the lady awaits." With a final wary look at yours truly (I think he was kinda pissed due to my natural insolence), he faded away once again.

"What was that about?" Yuna asked. "You know why the statue is empty?"

"Ugh, you wouldn't believe me if I told you, I said before. You'd probably assume I was cooking up some cock-and-bull tale to try and stop you from getting the Final Aeon. Just trust me when I say you won't like what you hear." I said simply.

"I second that. This whole thing is messed up." Deki said. "And Auron knew too."

"If we had told you the truth, would it have stopped you from coming?" Auron asked Yuna calmly.

"Yuna." Kimahri said calmly, stepping toward the 'doorway' that led into the Hall.

"I'm not going back." Yuna said. I wonder where she gets that determination from.

"Kimahri knows. Kimahri go first. Yuna is safe. Kimahri protect." he said, and with that said, he went on to the next room. We followed, though I felt uneasy with the glares I was getting from Rikku and Tidus. Though when the doors opened, Rikku dropped her glare and went back into freak-out mode.

"Someone's coming!" she cried.

"Lady Yunalesca." Yuna said calmly, looking at the scantily-clad unsent woman standing before us.

"Welcome to Zanarkand. I congratulate you, summoner. You have completed your pilgrimage. I will now bestow you with that which you seek. The Final Summoning... will be yours. Now, choose. You must choose the one whom I will change... to become the fayth for the Final Summoning." Yunalesca said calmly, sweeping her hand over our group imperiously, as though having our souls ripped out and turned into (eventually) Sin was a _good_ thing. This did not go down well with our group.

"Told you so." I said calmly. Yunalesca shot me an odd look before continuing.

"There must be a bond, between chosen and summoner, for that is what the Final Summoning embodies: the bond between husband and wife, mother and child, or between friends. If that bond is strong enough, its light will conquer Sin." she explained calmly. "A thousand years ago, I chose my husband Zaon as my fayth. Our bond was true, and I obtained the Final Aeon. There is nothing to fear." I refrained from snorting at this. "You will soon be freed of worry and pain. For once you call forth the Final Aeon, your life will end. Death is the ultimate and final liberation." BULLSHIT. "Your father, Braska, chose this path." Okay, that last part wasn't bullshit. But still, you can't really trust anything Yunalesca says. She thinks this is okay. She is wrong and crazy, I thought as I saw her leave. Then some of Auron's 'memories' began playing out before us.

"It is not too late! Let us turn back!" 'ghost' Auron cried beseechingly.

"If I turn back, then who will defeat Sin?" Braska asked shakily. "Would you have some other summoner and _his_ guardians go through this?"

"But... my Lord, there must be another way!" 'ghost' Auron replied, trying to sway his friend. Bit late for that if he's had his will set on this for so long. Jecht butted in.

"This is the only way we got now!" he told Auron. Wow, he really did grow up compared to what you see at the start of Braska's pilgrimage. Remember the rambling drunkard in a Bevelle cell (Hey, that rhymed)? "Fine. Make me the fayth. I been doing some thinking. My dream is back in the other Zanarkand. I wanted to make that runt into a star blitz player. Show the... view from the top, you know. But now I know there's no way home for me. I'm never gonna see him again." We'll see about that, Jecht. Never say never. "My dream's never gonna come true. So make me the fayth. I'll fight Sin with you, Braska. Then maybe my life will have meaning, you know." I briefly wondered what was going through Tidus' head at seeing this, but I dared not look at him. He can conjure up quite a formidable glare when he wants to.

"Don't do this, Jecht! If you live... there may be another way! We'll think of something, I know!" 'ghost' Auron protested.

"Believe me, I thought this through. Besides... I ain't getting any younger, so I might as well make myself useful!" Jecht said, attempting (and failing, might I add) to lighten the mood a little.

"Jecht." Braska said solemnly, turning to his friend.

"What? You're not gonna try to stop me, too?" Jecht asked, evidently frustrated. I guess he wanted it over with as quickly as possible. He got guts. I could never volunteer to get my soul torn out.

"Sorry, I mean... Thank you." Braska smiled sheepishly, not really knowing what to say from the looks of things.

"Braska still has to fight Sin, Auron. Guard him well. Make sure that he gets there." Jecht said, before turning to Braska. "Well, let's go."

"Lord Braska! Jecht!" 'ghost' Auron called after them.

"What do you want now?" Jecht asked, looking exasperated.

"Sin always comes back. It comes back after the Calm every time! The cycle will continue and your deaths will mean nothing!"

"But there's always a chance it won't come back this time." Braska said. If only you knew why Sin was really there... You'd be singing a different tune. "It's worth trying." No, it's not.

"I understand what you're saying, Auron." Jecht said, looking thoughtful. "I'll find a way to break the cycle."

"You have a plan?" 'ghost' Auron asked incredulously.

"Jecht?" Braska asked, shocked.

"Trust me, I'll think of something." Jecht laughed before the real Auron darted forward and attacked the illusions with his sword before our very eyes.

"And the cycle went on." Auron said quietly.

"We'll break it!" Tidus said, clenching a fist.

"But how? You got a plan now?" Wakka asked cynically.

"If one of us has to become a fayth... I volunteer." Lulu said softly, looking at Yuna.

"Me too, Yuna!" Wakka added. I am surrounded by people who should be on suicide watch.

"That still won't change anything, you know? You'd bring the Calm, and then what? That won't break the cycle!" Tidus snapped, shooting the two filthy looks.

"Listen... you wanna defeat Sin and keep Yuna alive... You don't want Sin to come back, ya? That is just not gonna happen, brudda, you know?" Wakka said, ever the defeatist.

"If you want everything, you'll end up with nothing." Lulu told him gently.

"But I want everything!" Tidus yelled childishly.

"Now you're being childish!" That's just creepy, how Wakka of all people took the words right out of my mouth.

"I give up. So what would an _adult_ do, then? They know they can just throw away a summoner, then they can just do whatever they like!" Tidus snarled. "You're right. I might not even have a chance. But no way am I just gonna stand here and let Yuna go!" he shot a significant look at me when he said this. "And what Auron said about there being a way... I think it's true."

"'You'll think of something?'" Rikku clarified.

"I'll go ask Yunalesca. She's got to know something." Tidus said determinedly.

"You really think she'll help you?" she asked, looking up at him doubtfully.

"I don't know, but I have to try." he said firmly. "This is my story. It'll go the way I want it... or I'll end it here." What is it with these people and suicide?

"...Wait." Yuna said as Tidus made to leave. "You say it's your story, but it's my story, too, you know? It would be so easy... to let my fate just carry me away... following this same path my whole life through. But I know... I can't. What I do, I do, with no regrets." her voice was choked with emotion at the end.

"There is no way to break the cycle so long as the Final Summoning exists." I said quietly. Everyone turned to look at me. "It's the reason Jecht became Sin. Every Final Aeon that kills off Sin becomes the next Sin." I told them, running on ahead before I gave the game away completely.

"Is it true?" Yuna asked, staring at Yunalesca in horror. "If I choose a guardian to be my Final Aeon, they'll become Sin?"

"Sin is eternal. I don't know who told you, but they spoke nothing but truth." Yunalesca said calmly.

"So that's why my old man became Sin."

"Next time believe the crazy girl." I said, placing my hands on my hips. "I don't lie about serious things like this."

"But... i-if we atone for our past mistakes, Sin will disappear one day, right?" Wakka asked, seemingly desperate. "Someday, it'll be gone, ya?"

"Will humanity ever attain such purity?" Yunalesca asked.

"Cut the crap." I snapped. "Sin's just there to prevent technological advancement so that no one will find out what the fayth on Gagazet are _really_ there for." I said, watching in satisfaction. "Is a mere dream worth the sacrifice of millions of lives on your old man's altar?"

"T-this cannot be! The teachings state that Sin is punishment for _our_ sins and will be exorcised with complete atonement!" Lulu cried. "It's been our only hope all these years!"

"Hope is... comforting." Yunalesca said quietly. "It allows us to accept fate, no matter how tragic it might be."

"No!" Tidus cried, just as a ghostly version of – you guessed it, have a cookie – Auron shot forward, sword out and looking utterly murderous.

"Where is the sense in all this? Braska believed in Yevon's teachings and died for them! Jecht believed in Braska and gave his life for him!" the 'ghost' yelled, swinging his sword like a madman.

"They chose to die... because they had hope." the 'ghost' version of Yunalesca said calmly. 'Ghost' Auron let out a scream of rage and attempted to attack the unsent bitch. She took him down in a single hit.

"Yevon's teachings and the Final Summoning give the people of Spira hope. Without hope, they would drown in their sorrow." the real Yunalesca said gently. "Now, choose. Who will be your fayth? Who will be the one to renew Spira's hope?"

"No one." Yuna replied firmly. "I would have gladly died." Kamikaze. "I live for the people of Spira, and would have gladly died for them. But no more! The Final Summoning... is a false tradition that should be thrown away!" Yuna yelled.

"No. It is our only hope." Yunalesca said, evidently believing that her father was too powerful to be killed by anything mortal. "Your father sacrificed himself to give that hope to the people. So they would forget sorrow."

"Wrong. My father... My father wanted... to make Spira's sorrow go away! Not just... cover it up with lies!" Yuna cried.

"Sorrow cannot be abolished. It is meaningless to try." Yunalesca said quietly, hanging her head. I think she was missing Zaon, and still grieving for him.

"My father... I loved him. So I... I will live with my sorrow. I will live my own life!" Yuna shouted that last part. "I will defeat sorrow, in his place. I will stand my ground and be strong. I don't know when it will be, but some day... I will conquer it! And I will do it without... false hope."

"Don't be such a defeatist, Yunalesca." I said softly. "How do you know if you never try?"

"Poor creatures! You would throw away hope. Well... I will free you before you can drown in your sorrow. It is better for you to die in hope than to live in despair." Yunalesca said, seemingly shocked by Yuna's response. I realised she was trying to be kind, to spare us from suffering. It was misguided, but... "Let me be your liberator."

"Now! This is it! Now is the time to choose! Die and be free of pain or live and fight your sorrow! Now is the time to shape your stories! Your fate is in your hands!" Auron yelled, readying himself to fight. I highly doubted he'd let her beat him a second time. I too readied myself for battle, wanting to help him avenge himself. She'd killed him, this I knew.

"Yuna needs Kimahri. Kimahri protect Yuna." Kimahri said, ever calm as he got out his spear and got into his battle stance.

"Well, I'm fighting!" Rikku said brightly, grinning. She was happy that the Final Summoning was revealed to be a sham, and I was glad to see it.

"I can't believe we're gonna fight Lady Yunalesca! Gimme a break!" Wakka said faux-angrily.

"You can always run." Lulu said, amused.

"Hah! I'd never forgive myself – no way! Not if I ran away now. Even in death, ya!" he yelled.

"My thoughts exactly." Lulu smiled. I laughed.

"Yuna, if I hadn't known this whole thing was a sham, you know we would have found another way anyway, right?" I asked.

"You still owe me an explanation!" Everyone yelled. I continued laughing.

"Yeah, yeah. When we're done making mincemeat out of Lady Reaper here and we're someplace safe, I'll explain as best I can, 'kay?"

"You better!" Rikku said, elbowing me.

"Hey, I knew too! Don't leave me out!" Deki grinned, readying his sword. "And nothing's eternal, anyway. Not even her – " he jerked a thumb at Yunalesca " – old man, got that?"

"Yuna, this is our story! Now let's see this thing through together." Tidus said, smiling at Yuna as she smiled back and nodded. And so the fight began with Yunalesca striking the first blow, a contactless slap to Wakka. Seriously. A bitchslap attack. How original. NOT. She was _so_ annoying, casting Blind and Silence on anyone who physically or magically attacked her, respectively.

"I. Hate. This. Fight." I hissed through gritted teeth.

"You said it." Deki said, taking a bitchslap attack. They're not even that strong, but Auron landed funny and got a fatal head injury, which is why he died on Bevelle's outskirts. "Three forms... man..." Defeating Yunalesca's first form was actually pretty easy due to her lack of powerful attacks and only needing to occasionally heal and get rid of status ailments, though I knew perfectly well that we couldn't use aeons in this fight for a quick fix; she'd absorb their strength, and that's the last thing we needed.

"Gah!" Tidus jumped back in shock as she towered above us, suspended by her freaky hair. And I thought mine was weird. I whimpered lightly in pain as the skull-headed snake monsters came out of the ground; Yunalesca's Hellbiter attack. I only got injured and not Zombified, but Deki and the others who hadn't managed to dodge (Rikku had managed to avoid the attack, I realised upon noticing she wasn't Zombified or even injured in any way other than a slap she'd taken moments before) did.

"Ugh... this feels so weird..." Deki complained, his skin a slightly unsettling shade of green. Yuna cast Reflect on him, changing her mind at the last second. She was originally gonna give him a Holy Water to take care of it. She didn't have to worry; having captured all the fiends in the Calm Lands, I'd been able to use the reward (Farplane Winds, 60 of them) to Deathproof her armour, and I'd managed to Zombieproof it, as well, with ten of the Candles of Life I'd stolen from the fallen monks prowling the dome. The only reason I hadn't done the same for the others was that I didn't have enough Farplane Winds to Deathproof anyone else's armour, and other than that the only way to survive Mega Death (unless you're lucky and it misses) is to get Zombified. The Reflect was to deflect Yunalesca's Regen and healing magic – as long as we have fire items (such as Bomb Fragments, Bomb Cores, Fire Gems, the last of which can be easily acquired from Flame Flans in the Calm Lands... the list goes on) in our inventory, then the zombies with Fire Eater can be healed without removing Zombie status. Seriously, try it if you don't believe me. It helps.

"You said it, ya..." Wakka agreed, watching me toss Bomb Fragments at everyone in lieu of healing items. "So that's what the Fire Eater stuff was for... But why don't you just give us Holy Water, ya?"

"Because zombies are immune to Mega Death, and she'll start using it soon." Deki deadpanned as I took advantage of Omnistrike. That includes Holystrike, and as we all know, Yunalesca is weak to Holy. I mean, it didn't do as much damage as Yuna did with her magic compared to my usual attacks, but it was still a fairly good contribution to killing her (that is, Yunalesca's) ass.

"Oh... that makes sense, ya... we only had enough Farplane Winds for one person to be Deathproof, right?" Wakka laughed. "If only." I think he was talking about the fact that no armour can make you _truly_ deathproof. Everything dies eventually.

...Especially Yunalesca, who gets to die three times. First time fighting Sin, second time now, and lastly in Via Infinito in two years time. **(****A/N****: Hell, I'll probably end up doing the sequel just to go into Via Infinito and take a swipe at undead!Kinoc. And Mika, of course...)**

"Ow! Ugh, stop that, you annoying witch!" I snapped, glaring at Yunalesca as I held my poor cheek, which stung from another bitchslap attack. She screamed in pain as she took another Holy assault from Yuna. I suddenly regretted not getting a White Magic sphere to learn Holy when she did. And possibly another for Auto-Life when she eventually learned it. I remembered that Rikku had nabbed it (the one we found in Via Purifico) to learn Dispel a while back and frowned.

"Snake woman much?" Deki asked innocently as we took yet another Hellbiter attack. The bitch had realised that her healing magics weren't really doing anything other than healing herself, so she focused on killing us. Once I'd recovered, I giggled.

"You said it." I smirked, before whining in pain from another Hellbiter attack. I downed an Elixir (Ew, nasty taste much?) and continued attacking her with Yuna's help. And then the evil demonic Medusa-head popped out of the ground.

"Finally..." I muttered under my breath. "Two down, one to go." After that, most of us (Particularly Auron, Yuna and myself... Yunalesca seemed to really hate me.) took some serious batterings from Hellbiter and bitchslap attacks. Thank Bob for Fire Gems, and, in mine and Yuna's case, bog-standard healing items. Auron was pretty scary, trying to hack her to pieces regardless of the damage he took, using Tornado at every opportunity (Screw the Jecht Spheres, that's just an in-game thing. You don't really have to run around Spira to collect musty old spheres, that's just Squeenix getting 'imaginative') to take chunks out of ugly Medusa-head mount she was lounging on. At least, it looked like she was lounging about on its back from what I could see. Though after a while she started healing herself, so we all had to up the ante.

"This is almost as bad as Seymour, with all the different forms..." Deki muttered under his breath. I heard Tidus gasp out an affirmative (he'd just taken an attack from Yunalesca and was waiting for Rikku to finish her Mix (she lobbed a Cluster Bomb at snake-lady) and use a Bomb Core on him, seeing as how I was busy healing myself. Yunalesca did end up trying Mega Death a few times, and Wakka got 'killed' by it the first time (the idiot hadn't taken my warning seriously and used a Holy Water on himself, though Yuna had fixed him up right as rain shortly afterwards. It's not like 'Death' really counted; the Sphere Grid exists to protect you in battle as well as strengthen you, so 'death' effects can't literally kill you unless you don't have a Grid, and we all had one), though after that he had the brains to remain a Zombie (See what I did there?).

"Thirded." I heard Yuna mutter under her breath so that no one else would hear. See? I'm turning her evil. Gotta love being evil. Unless you're Seymour, then being evil just makes you get your ass handed to you on a plated silver platter, because real silver is too good for Seymour, we all know that. Having sufficiently weakened Yunalesca, Yuna hastily called out Bahamut and had him blast her to kingdom come. Thankfully it was enough to defeat her, because we were all quite frankly exhausted, and we wanted to find someplace to curl up and sleep. Ah, I could just imagine the nice, comfy beds of the Fahrenheit right now... **(****A/N****: For those of you who don't know, Fahrenheit is the proper name of Cid's airship, I checked the wiki. I do try to do my research accurately, -cries in a corner over writing the incorrect aeon fight in the Calm Lands. The shame-)** I was snapped out of my daydream by Yunalesca's voice. Why is she not gone yet? I wanna go find the airship and take a nice long nap!

"If I die, so does the Final Aeon. And with it, Spira's only hope." Yunalesca said weakly, looking up at us.

"Then we'll find Spira a new hope!" Tidus said fiercely.

"Fool. There is no other way. Even if there was... even if you did destroy Sin... Yu Yevon the immortal will only create Sin anew." she said softly, looking utterly defeated in a way that likely had nothing to do with her physical defeat.

"Yu Yevon?" Tidus exclaimed.

"Ah... Zaon, forgive me... Spira has been robbed of the light of hope... All that remains is sorrow." Yunalesca whispered to her absent husband as her body faded into pyreflies.

"I cannot believe what we just did." Yuna exclaimed softly.

"Let's do something more unbelievable." Tidus grinned.

"What?" Rikku asked, evidently curious as to what Tidus' big master plan was.

"Destroy Sin. So it won't come back, and without the Final Aeon. I don't know how just yet. But I'll find out." he shot me a look that said he had his suspicions about my ignorance.

"Ugh, alright, alright! I'm sorry, okay?" I snapped. "I was trying to make sure nothing got messed up, that you knew all the facts without any preconceived notions when you got here."

"...Oh." Yuna said quietly, watching me dash over to the chest to retrieve the Sun Crest. "I... understand what you were trying to do, Kelle, but..." she trailed off, evidently not knowing how to put her feelings at that moment into words.

"You should have told us." Tidus said grudgingly. "But we'll let you off this time. Any other secrets you might like to let us know about?"

"I know what the fayth on Gagazet are summoning, if you'd like me to tell everyone." I said quietly, just so only he (and maybe Auron) caught it, shooting him a look that said 'I know your secret'.

"Um... never mind." he said nervously. When Tidus and Auron stopped in the now-ruined Great Hall, I waited at the door leading from that room into the Chamber of the Fayth. I listened to their conversation and watched Auron's memory.

"We done now, dreamboat and dead guy?" I asked, in a rather stupid attempt to lighten the mood. Auron shot me a rather sour look. "Geez. This is what I get for trying to act normal."

"You knew all along, didn't you?" Tidus asked quietly. I sighed and nodded.

"Sorry for not telling you." I said softly. "I didn't have the heart to tell you what happens when Sin is gone for good."

"It's... okay. I'm glad I got to meet you all. And it's worth it if Sin is gone forever." he smiled sadly. "But... don't tell Yuna or the others, okay?" I nodded.

"That's for you to say, not me. Deki knows, too, but not because I told him or anything. He won't say anything either." I told him. "I... I promise I'll watch Yuna's back for you after you... you know." I said awkwardly. He looked relieved. That promise also meant that I'd do everything in my power to help her defeat Vegnagun in two years and get him back.

"Thanks." Tidus said quietly. We caught up with the others, and fought our way out of the dome. Most of us were in shock at seeing Sin up close like this, myself included. It's different seeing it in real life compared to on a screen in your house. I watched Tidus' silent conversation with his father, before Sin left and the airship came to get us. I was soooo relieved. A place to rest, and they'd cleared out all the fiends so we could rest.

"_Where to now?_" Brother asked. Cid saw our gloomy, exhausted faces.

"Aren't we the happy looking bunch." he said, vaguely amused. I rolled my eyes. Does this guy think he's being witty or something?

"_Where? Where?_" Brother asked impatiently.

"'Where, where?' That all you can say? Why don't you think of something?" Rikku yelled at her elder sibling.

"Come on, help us!" Tidus yelled at Auron.

"What do we know... Sin is Jecht. Thus, you have a link... a bond with Sin. That may be our key." Auron said calmly. It's easy enough for him, he's already dead!

"So what do we do?" Tidus asked slowly.

"We think, and we wait."

"Two things I'm bad at." Tidus scoffed. I smirked.

"You don't need to tell _us_ that." I said, smiling in amusement. I shut up as Yuna approached Cid, and did a prayer-slash-bow in his direction. He walked to the front of the bridge to hide his expression, while Yuna and Kimahri left. Tidus left to talk to them (while everyone else talked among themselves. I was kinda half asleep), coming back minutes later with a grin on his face.

"Hey, guys! I just had a great idea!" Wakka said happily. Rikku glared at him.

"It was _my_ idea. Let me tell them!" she said.

"It's like this, ya?" he continued, ignoring her completely. So Rikku cut him off and stood in his way.

"I just thought!" she said, though Lulu got to the punch before she did.

"The hymn is the key." she said simply, looking thoroughly relieved at the thought of more ammo to use against Sin.

"The Hymn?" Tidus asked, perplexed.

"Sir Jecht likes the Hymn of the Fayth, correct?" she asked him.

"Yeah."

"That's why he was listening to it in Macalania!" Rikku explained cheerfully. Where does she get all that energy?

"Sin... violence incarnate, listening peacefully." Lulu said, a faint smile tugging at her lips. I resisted the urge to tease her on this fact, not wanting to be fried by her magic.

"I know it's your old man, and I don't mean no disrespect, but..." Wakka started.

"No, it's fine. I've gotten used to it." Tidus admitted.

"Let me say it." Lulu interrupted them. "If we attack Sin head on, we've little chance of winning. However, if he hears the Hymn of the Fayth, he will become docile."

"Yeah, and that's when we'll make our move! Might be against the rules and all," RULE FETISH BACK WITH VENGEANCE. "but who's keeping track, ya? Ya?" Wakka added enthusiastically.

"Yeah! It could really work!" Rikku cheered.

"Yeah... yeah, it's worth a try!" Tidus said, encouraged. He walked over to Cid.

"Well, that sounds like a plan to me! My baby here'll take us anywhere we want!" Cid said, evidently in a fantastic mood that we were going for the 'Yuna doesn't die but Sin does' approach.

"We're going to Bevelle. Mika might know something." Tidus told him, thankful for the co-operation on Cid's part.

"Bevelle it is, then. We'll be there the day after tomorrow." Cid replied.

* * *

**A/N****: 'Tis done! Hope you guys all like it! This chapter is 7219 words long, not including the ****author's notes. Review, my pretties! Review, review! -Wicked Witch of the West cackles in the distance-**


	15. Back to Bevelle

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Final Fantasy or anything other than my OCs. They win.**

**Authoress: You sent Allen away.**

**Socks: Yes, I did.**

**Authoress: I hate you so much right now.**

**Socks: Really? I had _no idea_. -sarcasm-**

**Authoress: I'm getting rid of your toys now for being such a pest.**

**Socks: Dammit. But yeah, I sit here and pester the Authoress while she writes in RL as well, so much so that I get a mention.**

**Authoress: Emphasis on the annoying. So if we play matchmaker you might start to behave. Now go on your kitty-date.**

**Socks: -poofs out-**

**Authoress: Now that he's gone, thank you for all the reviews and support you've been giving me. You're all awesome.**

**To Bevelle, and finding fayth and Celestial Weapons**

"And now I shall go sleep." I announced. "Now that all the talking and shit is over and done with."

"Hm, me too. You can show me where the sleeping area is." Deki grinned, letting me drag him along by the hand. Because most of the rooms were taken anyway (Rin had decided to use them for storage), Deki and I shared (NO, we did not do anything on the course of this journey that could get me knocked up) and we were both asleep as soon as our heads hit the pillow. I'm currently in a very good mood, because I got to cuddle up with my boyfriend without anyone making scatty remarks. Namely Shell, who slept with her boyfriend after dating him for like a month before sleeping with him. I'm not the sort to sleep with the first guy I see. If that makes me weird, then so be it.

"Yo! Wake up, ya!" I woke up to the noise of my door getting battered by the local dummy. "Don't you got better things to do than sleep!" I growled, my happy bubble destroyed. A warm pair of lips brushed against my neck from behind.

"I'll deal with this." Deki murmured softly, squeezing my waist gently before getting off the bed and walking to the door. "What do you want, Wakka? There's no fiends, and you just ruined our happy moment." he snapped, evidently just as cranky as I was.

"Were you guys up to something?" Wakka asked us suspiciously. Deki and I both turned the colour of tomatoes. "Ha! You were, weren't you!"

"No, we weren't. We were asleep." Deki deadpanned.

"Ya, and what were you doing before that to make you both so tired?" I twitched, wanting to maim Wakka for life.

"Oh, I dunno, fighting Yunalesca? That kinda took it out of us, especially since I'm still sore in my shoulder from the Calm Lands Incident." I snapped. Even if we _had_ been up to something, how the hell was it Wakka's business? That jerk. "And it's not like you don't get those thoughts about Lulu, so back off or I'll tell her! 'Oh, Lu! Ohhh, Luuuuuu!'" I mocked. Wakka turned an amusing shade of red and wandered off, muttering under his breath about kids these days having no respect. As soon as he was out of earshot, Deki closed the door and burst out laughing.

"Are you serious?" he asked after a moment, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "He has wet dreams about her? Poor Lulu." he chuckled. I distinctly remember him saying that about Lulu when he found out she'd married Wakka sometime in the two years before Yuna's second journey. We both felt pretty bad for her having to put up with Wakka's stupidity 24/7, but there's no one else who could keep that dolt in line, is there? I hate to admit it, but poor, unfortunate Lulu is Wakka's perfect match. "Lord knows what _he's_ into."

"S&M much?" I giggled. He laughed harder. "But yeah. We're lucky Spira doesn't have the Internet. Remember the horrors of Rule 34." I said, shuddering. If you don't know what Rule 34 is, then you are lucky, and you should not look it up, because it will scar you for life. Trust me, I was stupid enough to ignore the warning. Don't make the same mistake I did. He shuddered, too.

"Poor, poor Lulu." Deki muttered, before laying down on the bed. I curled up next to him.

"You said it, just don't let Lulu herself hear you or you'll get fried by her magic." I advised softly, before frowning. "I can't sleep now. Wakka annoyed me too much." I pouted.

"True, true. He is very annoying." he murmured, pressing his lips against my own. "And _you_ are cute when you're peeved." he said softly as he pulled away, grinning as I blushed.

"Shut up and kiss me, already." I grumbled, pulling him close and ignoring his soft chuckle that stopped the moment our lips met again. I felt his lips curl into a light smirk before he rolled us over so he was on top, kissing gently down my neck. I pouted again after a few moments of this. "No fair. You know how much I like that..."

"And that's bad... why?"

"Because I like it too much and you're gonna turn me to mush at this rate." I whined, before an evil grin made its way across my face. "My turn now." I giggled, kissing the sensitive spot behind his ear and feeling him squirm. He grunted softly when I started using my tongue and started kissing down his neck, almost mirroring what he'd been doing to me moments before. I guess he's still a little sleepy, because he's normally the one who does all the dominating (he's probably the only guy I'd _allow_ to dominate me in any way, shape or form) during our little private make-out sessions. I felt him pull me back up for a kiss, removing my hair clasp and leather tie at the same time. "You sure it doesn't bother you?" I mumbled, still ever-so-slightly insecure.

"Love it." he chuckled softly, gently teasing a few strands between his fingers. "It suits you." he added quietly, sighing as I ran my fingers through _his_ hair and pulled him down for another kiss. I felt him gently slip my coat off, along with my arm warmers, and dump them on the floor (I'd been too tired to take it off when I'd come in) next to the bed and run his hands up my now bare arms before unzipping my sleeveless shirt and kissing his way to the top of my breasts. I shivered lightly with pleasure, unfastening the new armour (he'd acquired it in the Calm Lands from the hover-vendor) that covered his abdomen and tossing it on the floor near my coat, cringing slightly at the noise it made.

"Sorry." I muttered as Deki laughed and kissed me, shrugging out of his shirt and cuddling me to his chest. I smiled softly and started running my fingers through his soft hair for a second time. Then the door opened.

"What were you guys doing?" Lulu asked, staring at us. It was a silent reprimand for what she thought we were thinking of doing.

"We weren't planning on doing anything that could get me pregnant. It's not like we have condoms or anything like that." I sweatdropped.

"What's a condom?" Lulu asked. And she was serious. There are no condoms or birth control in Spira, because no one has need of them. Quite the opposite, in fact. But nonetheless, Deki and I were both in silent freak-out mode at what to tell her.

"Um, birth control." Deki stuttered, embarrassed. "It stops the girl getting pregnant when... y-you know..." I couldn't stop myself from giggling at his red face.

"Why in the world would anyone invent such a thing?" she asked, staring at us like we were crazy.

"Uh... so couples who aren't ready for a family can screw for pleasure without worrying?" I said uncertainly, my face heating up in a manner rather similar to the red face of my lover (whose lap I was currently sitting in). Lulu rolled her eyes.

"Why am I not surprised by the way you just phrased that?" she asked rhetorically. "It's good you're both so responsible, though. It wouldn't really do for you to fight if you were..." she laughed a little at our red faces. "Alright, I'll leave you both alone. You don't need lecturing on where babies come from, I'm sure." And then she left.

"Way to kill our mood." I said, narrowing my eyes at the door. Deki laughed.

"In a way, it's good." he said softly, pressing his lips to my neck gently. "I am a guy, you know. It's not like you have no effect on me." I blushed. "But the whole forbidden thing is kinda hot..."

"Still a pervert..." I giggled as he pinned me under him. Then he stopped. "What?"

"Is there any way we can lock the door? I don't want any more interruptions." he pouted. I giggled, getting off the bed and activating the door lock.

Over the next few hours there was much kissing. Among other things.

**(A/N: No, they didn't do 'it', for any dense perverts out there.)**

* * *

"So, why was your door locked?" Rikku asked suggestively the next morning. "Were you two making babies~?" she teased.

"NO!" Deki and I both yelled. "We're too young for babies!"

"Eh? But I know girls my age with kids, and you're older..." she frowned. Damn it. She's got a point there. People here marry and make babies younger because of Sin. "Is it different where you come from?"

"Most people wait until they're in the 20s at the earliest. Teen pregnancies are often frowned upon, depending on the culture the baby is born into." I explained calmly, trying to draw on Lulu and her magical, ever present patience.

"Really? That long?"

"Yes, Rikku. It's not as much as a problem because we don't have a Sin, remember? When we beat Sin, you can relax about keeping up the population." I said, laughing nervously.

"Huh... yeah, I guess you have a point." she smiled. "I hear some girls get loads of pressure on them to have a baby as soon as possible." Her smile fell a little. "Hopefully it won't be so bad once this is all over." I nodded tiredly, yawning.

"Machina lessons?" I asked. She grinned, dragging me off for another brain-breaking session **(****A/N****: I'm learning computer systems at college right now. It is brain breaking, and we haven't even gotten to the practical stuff yet)**. I briefly wondered why I'd signed myself up for this, but then I remembered that I wanted to be a Gullwing in two years' time, and being able to help fix the airship might be a useful skill. Because I don't want to drop out of the sky, and building robot minions sounds like fun. I'm thinking Thursday the Super Robot from Disgaea: Hour of Darkness. Lots of Thursdays.

Err... You heard/read nothing.

* * *

"Ugh... how much longer till Bevelle?" I complained lazily, hanging out with Yuna and Kimahri.

"Not too far now." Yuna sighed. "I wonder what they'll say."

"Meh." I said, stretching to try and get some of the tension out of my stiff muscles. "Probably a bunch of crap about heresy and whatnot." She giggled.

"You're always so laid-back about things." she said. "I don't know whether to scold you most of the time."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Yuna. I'm always so very very serious." I said solemnly, forcing my face to look gloomy and end-of-the-world serious. She laughed, which was my desired reaction.

"What's going on here?" Deki asked, sticking his head around the door frame to look at us. I looked at him with my serious face... and he screamed.

"Noooo! What have they done to you? They've turned you all serious!" he cried, playing along... I hope. "Don't worry, my love! I'll avenge your lost carefree nature!" I giggled as he clutched me to his chest all dramatically. "Oh... you're all better now?"

"Yep! Let's go torture Wakka over that thing I embarrassed him with last night." I grinned mercilessly.

"Yes, ma'am!" he saluted, though he looked thoroughly amused.

"What did she embarrass Wakka with...?" I heard Yuna mutter under her breath curiously. I don't know whether or not to tell her about it. She's totally innocent and it might weird her out.

"Oh, Wakka, where are you?" I asked in my super-creepy voice. And so began Wakka's torture. There was nothing he could do about it, either, since that would involve admitting to his rescuer what exactly what we were teasing him for. Namely his wet dreams about Lulu.

It was brilliant.

* * *

"Hey, we're nearly at Bevelle now! Look sharp!" Cid snapped, trying not to laugh at Wakka's situation. He looked like he'd been losing sleep over our merciless taunting-slash-torture, with the dark circles and frazzled-worse-than-usual hair.

"Finally... Oh, no, wait. What if _they're_ there?" I muttered. I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder.

"Then I'll be sure to kick their asses for what they did in the Calm Lands when you say the word." Deki assured me, glaring at Wakka (Who had opened his mouth to probably try and rub salt in open, infected wounds) meaningfully. I smiled. How thoughtful of him. And I'm talking about Deki, not Lulu's perverted future husband. As I've said so many times, feel bad for poor unfortunate Lulu.

"You and your ass kicking." I giggled as we _finally_ arrived and disembarked.

"Infidel!" barked one of the Yevonite monk guys.

"Man, don't these guys ever give up...?" Wakka muttered.

"You'll regret showing your face here! We'll strike you down in the name of Yevon!" the main soldier spat.

"How many _more_ religious zealots do we have to deal with?" I whined. "Wakka was bad enough..."

"H-hey!"

"I agree with you there..." Deki and Tidus both commented, smirking slightly.

"Gotta love their logic, they're so _sane_!" I said sarcastically. Rikku giggled. "I feel bad for the Al Bhed, having to put up with this..."

"Well, if they want a fight, we'll just have to give them." she said, getting into battle stance.

"Prepare to charge!"

"Stop!"

"Hey, Shelinda!" I called happily, waving.

"...Captain?"

"Lady Yuna is not to be harmed! She's no traitor, that is an evil rumour spread by the Al Bhed!" Shelinda said.

"What?" me and Rikku demanded. Shelinda continued on as if she hadn't heard us.

"Maester Mika himself told me." Ah, now I remember this part. Make the Al Bhed scapegoat for his own failings, the coward.

"Then... what are we to do?" The soldier (Who I suspect to be brain-dead) asked. I rolled my eyes.

"Stand down, duh. Did they not teach you to think for yourself? Contrary to popular beliefs, you really should." I said, shooting him my Look of No Forgiveness. He pointed a gun at me, I don't like him.

"A-as she says!" Shelinda ordered, mildly shocked at the way I had just said that.

"What was that about evil Al Bhed?" Rikku asked, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

"I... Truly, I do not understand it myself! All Yevon seems to be in a state of confusion." At this I grinned in a manner I am told was rather unsettling. "Why, yesterday they called me out of the blue and made me captain of the guard!" I'm jealous, she gets all those deadly weapons at her command! And I bet she doesn't even have and awesome plan for them... like world domination or anything.

Why, Bob, WHY?

"Short on believers?" Auron asked, looking thoroughly amused and snapping me out of my thoughts questioning Holy Bob on the whole giving a goodie-goodie dangerous weapons thing all at the same time. How does he DO that?

"Yes, the chaos" – YAY CHAOS – "in the temples is worse than I'd imagined. It's horrible! And all the priests do is blame each other." Typical Yevonites, never willing to admit when they're ALL in the wrong... "I worry what will become of Yevon." Why worry? Spira is better off with Yevon dead and buried. Oh wait you don't know that... "But no! I must be the rock that stands against the swirling tides, right? Lady Yuna, I must tell you," That you love her? I kid. "your courage has been a great inspiration to me!" Oh, you mean the dying fighting Sin thing? Not gonna happen, you silly goose.

"Yeah, that's great, but we came here to see Maester Mika. Is he here?" Straight to the point, Tidus! I've taught you well, dear.

"Yes, I shall arrange an audience. Please wait in the courtroom." she said, running off to presumably do just that.

"Hey, hey, wait! What was all that about the Al Bhed lying and stuff?" Rikku yelled after her, shaking a fist for added effect.

"Simple. Yuna has become Mika's only hope." Auron explained to her calmly as he always does.

"Oh... okay."

"Just what does he think he can get away with?" Lulu asked, disgusted. I scowled.

"Let's teach him some manners!" Tidus said enthusiastically. I grinned. Even if I hadn't grown to care for Yuna like family, I would still have decided to try and help her bring him back in two years simply because he's turning into a regular sadist. I'm so proud...

"Yes, let's." Yuna smiled at him. I'm proud of her, too. "Shall we?"

"Yay. The courtroom." I said dully. "Can we say bad décor? The place is so damn gloomy! They should really get a new interior designer or something."

"Yeah..." Tidus said, actually thinking about it. See, he does listen to my lessons of awesomeness.

"K-Kelle! You guys!" Shell and Trent's voices yelled at us. I twitched and squeezed Deki's hand. (Yes we were holding hands. Sue me, we're a couple.)

"Oh look it's the backstabbers." I deadpanned. Trent at least had the decency to look guilty. Shell looked totally unrepentant.

"I still say we were in the right. I want nothing to do with assisted suicide." she sneered, shooting a slightly sad look in Yuna's direction. Oh... I never did explain these things to her, did I? Yuna looked slightly peeved.

"Look, if you come with us, you'll find out the truth. I never intended to allow Yuna to die in the first place." I told her slowly. "Honestly, you should have trusted me." Shell scowled at that, but nodded.

"The courtroom, right?"

"Yeah. You were eavesdropping for how long?" I asked, amused. Trent flushed.

"Since the word 'infidel'. Figured they'd only yell that if you guys were around." he said. I rolled my eyes.

"Shall we?"

"We shall." I noticed Auron shoot his Look of Death at them, letting them know that if they dared stab us in the back again, we wouldn't show any mercy. Even if they were my childhood friends, Sin takes priority.

When we got to the courtroom, Mika was already waiting for us.

"Why are you here? You must go and defeat Sin, quickly! You have obtained the Final Aeon from Yunalesca, have you not?" he cried, looking shockingly similar to a cornered animal.

"Well, we _did_ meet her..." Tidus started.

"And then we beat her ass." I finished cheerfully.

"What?" Mika, Trent and Shell all screeched, looking ready to keel over.

"Summoners and guardians will be sacrificed for the Final Summoning no more!" Auron said, evidently thinking of Braska and Jecht when he said that. And Yuna, of course.

"Guardians?" I heard Trent mutter.

"You have profaned and subverted a thousand year old tradition? Fools! Infants! Do you realise what you've done?" he yelled. "You've taken away the only means of calming Sin!"

"Why calm it when we know how to destroy it?" I grumbled. "Pessimists... there's always another way."

"Why... preposterous! There is no other way!" Mika started fading away.

"The grand maester, running away?" Auron asked, looking totally amused. Do all dead people find stuff like that funny? And here I thought Deki and I were the only ones with the messed up sense of humour. I really need to hang out with more dead people.

…At least, the ones that aren't always trying to kill me. Anyway.

"Spira has lost its only hope. Destruction is inevitable. Yu Yevon's spiral of death will consume us all. I have no desire to watch Spira die." Mika continued being all sparkly and pyrefly-y.

"It won't die!" Yuna told him firmly.

"Who is this Yu Yevon guy?" Tidus asked, deeply frustrated. Then he shot me a look.

"Lady Yunalesca also mentioned him. And what was that you said in Zanarkand also, Kelle?" Lulu asked. I flushed, though Mika ignored the question directed at me.

"He who crafts the souls of the dead into unholy armour. An armour called Sin! Clad in it, Yu Yevon is invincible. And the only thing that could have pierced that armour, you have _destroyed_! Nothing can stop it now." Mika said, hanging his head in defeat and fading away completely.

"Disappear on us, will you? Rotten son of a shoopuf!" Wakka yelled, shaking his fist.

"Huh. For once we agree, Wakka." I said, glaring at the empty air.

"Where... where is the grand maester?" Shelinda asked, having just walked in looking majorly confused.

"He, um..."

"He's not here yet. How long must we wait?" Auron asked. Damn he's a good actor when he wants to be.

"That's odd... I'll go look for His Grace." Shelinda left again to go look for the old windbag. I noticed the fayth out of the corner of my eye, though he wasn't here for me, I supposed.

"Come, to my room. You too, Kelle, I know you can see me." he laughed at that last part.

"Okay." Yuna said on behalf of both of us. Then she looked at me for a moment.

"Who you talking to?" Wakka asked.

"Oh, uh... no one." Tidus said nervously, evidently not wanting to be called crazy again.

"I must go see the fayth." Yuna said calmly.

"I see."

"Yay. More trials." We had to do the damn things ALL OVER AGAIN. Only this time we weren't gonna be leaving in chains.

"Um, didn't the fayth wanna talk to you too?" Tidus asked. I shrugged.

"Call me when you're done talking. I already know what you're gonna talk about... and I have a sneaking suspicion as to what he wants to talk to me about." I said, ignoring his WTF-face. Such is my life.

"Uh... okay. Just out of curiosity, what do you think he wants to talk to you about?" Yuna asked.

"Whether or not we'll be sent back home when this is all over. Personally I'd rather stay here." I said simply.

"Seconded." Deki added.

"Thirded." Trent – surprisingly – said. Huh. And here I thought he'd be siding with Shell and wanted to go back home.

"T-Trentie-poo! I thought we agreed that we wanted to go home! Spira is full of weirdos!" Shell said angrily. Bad move in a _room full _of Spira natives. "That's probably why she loves it so much here." Then she noticed the sheer number of people glaring at her before Tidus and Yuna walked into the Chamber of the Fayth and gulped. So she's _not_ totally stupid. Maybe there is a brain in that thick skull of hers. A tiny brain, but a brain nonetheless. The world is ending. It is dead and buried.

"Weirdos, eh?" Wakka muttered darkly.

"You're an idiot, you know that right?" I asked her casually. "I mean, seriously. It's our world that sucks." I smirked. "The air is clean here, we can do magic – which I'm not sure we'll still be able to do back home, and personally I want to stick around to watch Yevon fall apart at the seams."

"I... well, you have a point there. Yevon's a bunch of jerks." she said, glaring at the door we'd come through.

"We're agreeing again." I noted. She laughed... and for the first time in a long time, I remembered how things used to be when we were little. She wasn't _always_ a complete bitch.

"So we are." she smiled. I noticed out of my eye the odd looks we were being given, but chose to ignore them as Tidus came out first, shortly followed by Yuna. Whatever happened to "Ladies first"?

"He wants to talk to you now." Tidus said, gesturing behind me. I sighed and walked in to see the hooded boy floating over his statue.

"Hey. I done good?" I asked, referring to the job I had as Yuna's guardian.

"You've done fine. Thank you for all your help." he smiled slightly.

"No problem. There was something you wanted to talk to me about, I believe?" I asked curiously. He chuckled and nodded.

"Yes, there is. I know you've been wondering about whether or not you'll have a choice about being sent back to where you came from." he told me. "I'm afraid we simply don't have the strength to send you back after this is all over. Your souls have been altered by your experiences. You are all a part of this world now."

"I... see. Well, it's no loss to me. That place never felt like home." I said calmly.

"But your friend..."

"I'm sure she'll eventually get used to life here. I mean, it's not like she's alone or anything. She has Trent, just as I have Deki." I said, noticing he looked a little less guilty than he had a moment ago. "All I can really ask of you is to wish us luck. I better get going now... patience isn't the forte of anyone in the party." I waved goodbye and turned to leave.

"Such a strange girl..." he chuckled. I pretended not to have heard.

"I'm afraid the Grand Maester is nowhere to be found!" Shelinda told us apologetically.

"S'okay, we were just leaving." Tidus assured her. She looked a little disappointed.

"Oh... I see..."

"Hey! Maybe you should help us with the hymn!" Rikku piped up suddenly, wanting to cheer her up for some reason.

Whatever.

"Hey, good idea!" Did someone let Tidus near the sugar again? I thought I locked it... unless he convinced Rikku to pick the lock for him...

"It's like, we need you to tell as many people as you can!" Rikku explained. Shelinda (bless her) looked totally lost and confused.

"What should I tell them?" she asked.

"A ship in the sky will sing the Hymn of the Fayth. When they hear it, we need everyone to sing along!" Rikku told her.

"Everyone in Spira!" Wakka told him.

"I'm not sure I understand..." Shelinda said. Of course not, she's never seen a flying ship.

"You don't have to! Just tell everyone!" Rikku said. Yep, she's definitely sugar high. In Bevelle. WHY DIDN'T SHE ASK ME TO JOIN IN THE HYPERNESS?

"A ship in the sky will sing the Hymn of the Fayth? So when they hear it, everyone should sing along, correct?" Shelinda confirmed, still looking a little unsure.

"If they do, we might be able to defeat Sin!" Tidus explained to her.

"Truly?"

"Of course, silly. We wouldn't lie about something like that. Even I'm not _that_ cruel." I laughed. She smiled joyously.

"That's wonderful! You can count on me! I shall tell all of Spira!" she exclaimed, rushing off like a busy little bee to get to work.

* * *

**A/N****: Rejoice, for I have finally updated. But yeah, I had some seriously bad migraine attacks over the Christmas and New Year period, so I haven't been able to use my computer. I am sorry... now give me reviews!**


	16. Gathering the Celestial Weapons

**Disclaimer****: I don't own nothing except my OCs. Speaking of which... Maybe I should do a character design thingy on my dA account. Let me know in my reviews, but if I do don't expect a great artwork. While my drawing itself won't be atrocious, I have zero experience in colouring, so it'll either be badly coloured or simply a lineart.**

**UPDATE: There is a sketch for Kelle. I have done it, and for once I am actually proud of my work.**

**-heavenly chorus-**

**Authoress: SHE'S GONE! SHE'S FINALLY GONE AND I HAVE PEACE AND QUIET IN WHICH I CAN FOCUS ON MY WRITING! THANK YOU WORK EXPERIENCE!**

**Socks: In case any readers are wondering why the Authoress has gone insane (more so than usual, that is...) it's because her mother has work experience, and so she gets the house to herself from nine till five. She's very happy about it.**

**Authoress: No more getting my ears chewed off while I'm trying to concentrate! No more nagging! The main cause of my migraine is gone for the daylight hours! I can hibernate in peace!**

**Socks: ...Yes, in case your wondering, the Authoress doesn't really get along with her mother. They're polar opposites. The Authoress is mainly a solitary being who seldom talks out loud due to her preference for quiet (lest her evil migraines come back and make her feel like someone set a mine off in her skull and impair her vision)... and her mother has a very bad case of what we call verbal diarrhoea and enjoys noise and chattering incessantly. How they've managed to not kill each other is still a mystery.**

**Authoress: Emotional numbness is a godsend. You get used to her vicious word spew after a while. Thank you PTSD. Thank you bad childhood. Thank you terrible and evil family. You actually managed to benefit me in some way.**

**Socks: Yeah. She's crazy. Her issues are many. She will probably die alone.**

**Authoress: Quiet you. You're ruining my happy bubble of happy that my kind reviewers have made for me. I love my reviewers, they are awesome and receive the cyber-thingy of their choice. Thank you Shaz, Sara, Rush, Cor Strike FX, Amylou11987, Solyeuse, evieeeee, kh2 fan13, Kagayaku Midori, Fanfic Reader Guy, and way2eayzy. You are all awesome.**

**Socks: Agreed. They are awesome.**

**-world ends-**

**Authoress: Whoops. Um... those of you who survived Armageddon, enjoy the chapter!**

**The Celestial Weapons (HA YOU THOUGHT I FORGOT) are a Real Pain**

"So... basically you're saying this engine upgrade thing will make us go faster." I summarised from all of Cid's techno-babble. The Yevonites all looked so confused, so I decided to help them.

"...Yeah, that's about it. We can now go from one end of Spira to the other in less than an hour." he bragged. I rolled my eyes.

"Okay then. We need to go back to Zanarkand." I stated. I got many WTF-faces for my trouble. Except from Deki, who is smart and knows what I'm talking about. "In order to acquire the aeon Anima, you need to use the Destruction Sphere in every Cloister of Trials in Spira. And we need to get ALL the aeons to really get rid of Sin." I told her. "We need all the help we can get."

"Anima...? Oh, you mean Maester Seymour's aeon? You know where to get it?" Yuna asked me. I grinned at her and nodded. "Where is it?"

"Where I met Tidus and Rikku for the first time. But the temple is guarded by a pretty nasty fiend, so we're best off taking care of this first." I explained. Cid sighed suddenly.

"That was kinda a fluke, actually. The salvage team got blown off course and stumbled on that place by accident; they never recorded the co-ordinates of that place." he said sheepishly. I smiled.

"It's fine, I know the co-ordinates." I told him (once again receiving WTF-looks for my trouble), walking over to the console thing and entering said co-ordinates (X is anywhere between 11 and 16, and Y is between 57 and 63. Z is how high up you are – in other words, Z is totally irrelevant.)

"How do you know that stuff...?" Lulu asked me. I grinned, before entering the co-ordinates for Sanubia Sands (X: 12-16; Y: 41-45. You can get the Ascalon there. Very useful), the Besaid Falls (X: 29-32; Y: 73-76. You know that blue sphere on Waterfall Way you could never access? Congrats, you can now), the Mi'ihen Ruins (X: 33-36; Y: 55-60. You know those ruins you can see out on the water from the hill outside Rin's Travel Agency on the Highroad? You appear on that, waaay off in the distance. You may think it's useless, but run around pressing X and you should find a chest with a really good Sonar for Rikku in it), the Battle Site (X: 39-47; Y: 56-60. In the wreckage of the Operation, you can find a Phantom Bangle. It absorbs three elements.) and finally the Omega Ruins (X: 69-75; Y: 33-38. Aside from some really good free items, you get crazy-tough fiends there – and the Ultima and Omega weapons, the latter of which Kimahri can learn his ultimate overdrive, Nova, from... and the Mimics, as I've mentioned, drop 50K a pop without Gillionaire. But be sure to level up your party before going here, or you'll be massacred. Hastega, Shell and Protect are a godsend against Omega. So are aeons.) I found that the password feature still existed on this ship, so I entered in GODHAND, MURASAME, and VICTORIOUS. I assumed that maybe the ship itself had some obscure, long-dead connection to the Celestial Weapons in the case of the Godhand password. If it's not too subtle a hint, Rikku's Godhand is there and Godhand equals Celestial Weapon.

...My God, I'm being helpful...

"Whoa." Tidus said. I just grinned mysteriously and told Brother to take us back to Zanarkand. He reluctantly complied.

* * *

"Why are we here again?" Tidus grumbled, killing yet another zombie.

"So we can obtain Anima. Also, it's in our best interests to capture as many fiends from around Spira as we can for the Arena. That guy gives away some great items for weapon customisation." I said cheerfully. I seem to be getting many weird looks today. More so than usual.

"Okay, then. Best of luck!" Tidus said, pushing me through the door to the Trials hastily before I could forcibly enlist his help. I whined softly and braced myself for brain breaking. I also recall cursing whoever invented these stupid Trials.

"I-I did it..." I croaked, falling out of the door holding my prize (Aside from the special item – which is really crap – yielded by the Destruction Sphere, you get a stone that comes with it. You put them in Anima's temple statue things to break the seal.) with a death grip. After recovering I grinned evilly. "Now we have to go all over Spira and capture lots of fiends." I said. "Or Auron's ultimate weapon won't be able to reach its full capacity without the Mars Sigil."

"Ultimate weapon?"

"Yeah. You know that sword for Tidus with the 'No AP' ability and the similar staff for Yuna I acquired in the Calm Lands? They're two of seven. Tidus' weapon I can power up all the way because we have both the Sun Crest and the Sun Sigil. I already collected all the crests, but we still need to collect most of the sigils to get rid of the 'No AP'." I said, ignoring the sceptical looks I was getting. "Trust me, they are crazy powerful, and we need all the help we can get against Sin. Also, even if you were gonna try and skip Anima, Lulu's weapon is in Baaj. I just couldn't get it before because you need the mirror to open the chest." I held up the Celestial Mirror.

"...And we were being attacked by a giant monster." Tidus added on. "It tried to eat us." He shuddered.

"Yeah, so we owe it an ass whooping anyway." I crossed my arms determinedly. "We must avenge our honour! Because that thing would have eaten us so we had to run away like a couple of weenies!" Tidus joined it.

"The evil being must _die_!"

"DEATH BY FIREEEEEE!" We both crowed, terrifying the others in the process.

"...Oh, wait... it's underwater."

* * *

Many many hours of killing fiend ass later, we were at the fiend arena. (While killing said fiend ass, we had stopped by Mushroom Rock Road and picked up Auron's Masamune from the Mi'ihen statue near the battlefield and Rikku's Godhand from the actual road leading to where the command centre used to be to save time).

"Items..."

"Give us items..." Rikku moaned, also exhausted. Most of the others had refused to join in our killing spree, and we had exhausted ourselves for the sake of collecting the Mars Sigil and a bunch of items. And the Blossom Crown, of course. We wouldn't be able to get the Magus Sisters otherwise.

"Are you okay?" The old man asked, having been snapped out of his mental party at having so many fiends to meddle with and splice and whatever.

"We're exhausted... we worked so hard collecting all those fiends." I explained tiredly. "But we needed to in order to get the Mars Sigil and Blossom Crown so we can kill Sin."

"Ah, I see." the old man smiled. "Well, you'll be happy to know that you've more than satisfied my criteria for those particular items, my dears. Here's your rewards." he handed over many many awesome items. I smiled weakly.

"By the way... I'm not sure about the others, but I know I will at some point be going to the Omega Ruins. I'll be sure to try and capture some of everything for the fun of it, 'kay?" I said. "Just keep the awesome items coming." the old man laughed.

"I'd like that. I've managed to create many superfiends thanks to your efforts. It would be nice to see what more I am capable of before I leave this world." I had come to an understanding of sorts with the old man. He wanted to try and create the genuine ultimate fiend before he died. And he wanted to see someone powerful enough to destroy said ultimate fiend so it wouldn't run amok after he died and kill people and stuff. Hopefully that would be us (I have no illusions about being able to take on an ultimate fiend all by myself) so the old coot could die in peace. Seriously, I have a niggling feeling that he would make a terrifying fiend. He's scary enough _now_. I wish I was related to this guy. He'd be like the ultimate grandpa. For me, anyway, with my destructive nature and whatnot.

And now I'm rambling.

"Where to next?"

"Um... Luca. After we take a nap, we got tournaments to win." I said, grimacing at the amount of work this would require. But at least I'd managed to help Tidus talk Wakka into playing blitz again so we could win his Overdrive Reels and Jupiter Sigil (The crest I had nabbed from the locker rooms long ago).

* * *

"This winning streak for the Aurochs is so bizarre..." Bobba said, handing over his gil. I wasn't playing blitz anymore, so I decided to get sweet revenge on the commentators for any and all derogatory remarks they'd made about the Aurochs in the past. So I was making bets on the Aurochs against the commentator (his counterpart was nowhere to be found – seems like he was the one with the brains in _that_ outfit) and winning every time. He was almost out of gil (but can we say rich? I've fleeced the unlucky bastard of several hundred thousand gil now and he still keeps coming back for more!) by this time. The woman at the counter of the café was most amused and had handed over the chest with the World Champion in it on their tenth win. I grinned maniacally when they finally finished the tournament with the Jupiter Sigil as a prize. We'd been in Luca playing blitz for three days straight – that's how long it took us to find the damn thing.

"Not bizarre, they've just gotten a lot better." I said. "I think they only lost because of the whole confidence thing. Now they know they're capable of winning, they will win." I grinned proudly. That and I had taught Keepa the importance of the psycho-killer glare. Only the bravest dared tangle with him now. Mwahahaha. Bobba simply grumbled under his breath about wily bitches. I ignored him to join up with the others.

"Congrats!" I patted Tidus and Wakka on the backs. They both grinned tiredly, but we had agreed that I shouldn't have to compete relentlessly in tournaments after mine and Rikku's efforts to get fiend catching; Yuna and Lulu had come back from Macalania yesterday on the airship with the Saturn Sigil for Kimahri. They looked fairly irritated, though I _had_ explained what they'd have to do to get it. And I'd given them the Mirror in order to collect the Spirit Lance, having confirmed that the Dark Aeons and Penance were just figments of Squeenix' imagination.

Else I wouldn't be here telling you this story now, would I?

"That was a nightmare." Yuna complained. See, the butterfly game really is that bad. I plucked the Mirror back from Yuna's hands and used it to open the World Champion chest that I had lugged all this way with me.

"Exactly. That's why I had you do it. It's only fair, since Rikku and I damn near killed ourselves capturing fiends for the arena." I told her, wagging a finger for extra effect. She sighed and nodded, knowing she wouldn't win if she tried arguing.

"Point taken."

* * *

"And now for our revenge!" I cackled, glaring into the depths of the water in front of us, where the Geosgaeno (I LEARNED ITS NAME! But I have absolutely no idea how you pronounce it. So in case you were wondering about that, I'm just as clueless as you guys are. Sorry...) lay waiting for more prey (I absently wondered how many Sahagins were even left in this place by this point. Thank Bob there's no equivalent to PETA here, or we'd never hear the end of it).

"Indeed." Tidus said, using his now-infamous Mika act. Rikku and Yuna (who's loosened up considerably over the course of our journey) both giggled at our serious faces. Us being serious is a very rare occurrence. Deki looked worried about this.

"Are you okay? I mean, you're only serious if it's _bad_. Like _really_ bad." he asked, touching my arm gently. I found myself smiling despite myself.

"It's good. I just have to kill the ugly Geo-monster and everything will be okay." I grinned. He rolled his eyes at my usual bloodthirsty nature. "But really, it'll have gotten stronger by now..." I whined, deciding to jump in with the others before I lost my nerve, silently thanking the higher power for anti-stone armour. And Super Ribbon, in my case. I didn't pull out weapons, readying my magic instead, seeing as how it'll work better. Tidus had a Crystal Sword (which is all four elemental strikes) equipped to nuke it in the elemental weakness thing. Rikku was more focused on the 'Evade and Counter' strategy. Which also works. Unless it eats you. But whatever.

REVENGE! IT WILL BE MINE! (Ugh, I sound like Seymour...)

It went for Rikku first, swiping with its big ugly fists of doom. She dodged and tossed an Ice Gem at it, watching it scream (how does it do that underwater, anyway?) in pain, backing up slightly upon the realisation that she wasn't easy pickings. Once she was safely out of the way, I shot her an apologetic look and started casting Thunder spells. It didn't like that, and expressed its displeasure by EATING me. Seriously. It fricken ATE me. I growled, pulling out my knives and scratching up its insides while Tidus tried to hack its belly open and get me out. Ah, well. It beats being melted by stomach acid, which is painful, dark, AND humiliating. In my opinion at least. After I gave it indigestion, it decided it didn't like me anymore and spat me out.

Ow.

* * *

I groaned to myself as the Phoenix Down pulled me back into reality. Rikku gave me a thumbs up, pointing at Tidus performing a Blitz Ace on Geosgaeno, thus giving her the opportunity to revive me. I hugged her in thanks and readied another Thundaga and my trusty Excalibur pin. She winced at that, backing up to a 'safe' distance (more like the other end of the ruin-pool). I noticed that by this point it looked pretty weak and wouldn't really take much more before dying. I was right, too. One full charge of my pin, a few Thundagas, a few Fire Gems (HOW DO THEY WORK UNDERWATER LIKE THAT?) and some slashes of Tidus' sword later and it was happily (okay not so much) blasted into pyreflies. The three of us surfaced.

"REVENGE!" Me and Tidus cackled evilly. Everybody looked disturbed. Even more so since Tidus is also cackling. I mean, for me this behaviour is normal. Not so for Tidus. I shook my head, snapping out of it.

"Oh and Lulu, your ultimate weapon is in that chest down there." I said pointing at it before we all jumped back in, Lulu swimming over to collect her Onion Knight. I scowled as we all swam into the temple, and set to work matching the appropriate temple treasure stones to their statues. The symbol blocking the way to Anima's chamber faded, and we all went in.

"You are Maester Seymour's mother." Yuna stated calmly, looking at the transparent woman hovering over the fayth statue. And so their conversation about how Seymour was wronged and his mother's self blame... Yeah, I don't buy it. The woman tried her best, did everything she could considering her incurable illness, and he still turned out messed up. As such, I still have no sympathy for him. I suppose normal mothers will defend their children. I wouldn't really know, my own mother wasn't exactly the shining example of the perfect matriarch.

"I will grant you my aeon, on the condition that you stop my son." she told Yuna after a fairly one-sided conversation, who agreed to said condition.

"And we're done here." I said happily as we walked back out.

"Yes, back into the freezing water." Shell said, glaring at said water disdainfully. Everybody except Kimahri and Auron (who is dead and so cannot feel the cold) shuddered.

"Someone's cheerful today." Deki muttered under his breath. I jumped in and swam as fast as I could hating the freezing cold water. Needless to say the slower swimmers in our group were pretty pissed with the rest of us for rushing out of there at full pelt. But sure, the north is cold, so Tidus didn't really have a problem, but myself and Deki hate cold water with a fiery passion, Rikku's from the _desert_, and Wakka's from a _tropical island_. You do the math.

* * *

"I am _so_ glad I don't have to go back there ever again, Ri." I told Rikku after having had a long soak. "All we have to do now is go to Bikanel and beat the Cactuar game thing for your sigil and sort out Remiem Temple where the last aeons are." I said cheerfully.

"Really? The cactuars have it? I never would have guessed unless you told me, you know." she said, letting me experiment with her hair. Yes I can be girly when I feel like it. "I mean, they're cactuars..."

"I get your point." I giggled. "They're plants with minds, what a strange concept."

"You... don't have cactuars where you come from?" she asked me. I shook my head.

"We have cact_i_, but they don't think or move or really do anything 'cept grow. They're just regular desert plants." I explained. She made a 'ohhh' face. You know the one with the dawning of comprehension and whatnot.

"Huh. So is it really hot where you come from, too?" At this I laughed. England has terrible weather. It rains a _lot_.

"Nah. Actually it's pretty cold compared to Bikanel. I mean, it's no Gagazet, but unless we have a heat wave, it's freezing at worst, cool at best." I told her. She looked confused.

"Then... how do you know so much about cacti?" she asked.

"Internet."

"What's that?"

As you can probably guess, the next few hours involved me being grilled for details about the Internet and how stuff like that actually worked. And I am bad at explaining things to people. I dunno why, I just _am_. Which is very frustrating for someone like Rikku who only has me (she doesn't know Deki well enough to pester him and she doesn't trust Trent or Shell) to explain these things to her.

"Lulu... can you tell Rikku to stop pestering me now?" I begged after the 147th question. She chuckled and did as I asked. "Thank you, oh great teacher of black magic and saviour..."

"Okay, you can stop now."

"'Kay! Anyway, did you _hear_ what Trent and Deki were saying to each other earlier?" I giggled. And so began our gossip and girl talk for the night.

* * *

"I... friggin'... hate... cactuses..." I grumbled, not caring about the fact that it's 'cacti' rather than 'cactuses'. Rikku and I were trekking all over the desert to find the damn cactuars and sneak up on them. We'd only managed to beat two out of the three we'd found so far.

"You mean cactuars..." Rikku said, though she looked like she agreed with me. "Hey, there's one!" she yelled, stopping right as it turned around to face us. It glared before turning its back to us once more, and Rikku pounced on it (getting pricked by a bunch of needles in the process – I'm the one she was complaining to afterwards, remember), thus winning.

"...Four down, six to go." I said, glaring at the sky. How did the Al Bhed survive in this heat?

* * *

"And now we go down there." I said, pointing at the previously inaccessible area before us (known in the future as the Cactuar Nation, but I'm not feeling too picky right now) before jumping in and beginning the epic search for Rikku's Mercury Sigil.

Damn cactuses.

"I found iiiit!" Rikku trilled happily, holding up her 'treasure'. I sat up up eagerly, having been laid down on my backside after finishing searching my half of the area.

"No more scorching and evil cactuses wanting to kill me with needles?" I asked eagerly. Rikku sweatdropped, hauling me to my feet and practically carrying me back to the airship. It actually took longer to hunt down the damn cactuars than it did to travel from the Oasis to Home. Seriously. I drank a _lot_ of water when we got back.

"You seem cheerful." Deki said, chuckling and giving me my obligatory cuddle.

"Never again." I moaned. "Never, not in a million years will I ever trek through the desert for such a long time!"

"Aw, come on, it wasn't _that_ bad..." Rikku pouted.

"Says the girl who grew up in that heat. I grew up in a cold, damp, dreary place. Hot and arid are two words I barely knew the meaning of before the whole being-taken-to-Bikanel-by-Sin thing." I complained. I like hot weather, but not trekking through it for hours and hours on end looking for needle monsters. If that makes me a hypocrite, then so be it.

"Cold and damp indeed. I remember when I visited your town that time!" Deki said. "You could have warned me to not wear my good shoes, y'know!"

"You're still peeved about that? Deki, that was ages ago!" I whined. He chuckled.

"Nah, you're just cute when you do that..." Our moment was ruined by Rikku, who stood there pretending to be sick. We both laughed and chased her the rest of the way to the bridge.

"So you got it?" Tidus asked, laughing when Rikku decided to use him for a shield.

"Yep. Now, to the Calm Lands! You have to go to Remiem Temple and beat Belgemine and her aeons there. If you win she might hand over the Flower Sceptre and Moon Sigil in her possession." I told Yuna cheerfully. She stared at me for a long moment before sighing.

"I won't even ask how you know that..." she muttered as she walked over to Cid, who then ordered Brother to "get our sorry asses to the Calm Lands double-time!".

When we got to Remiem Temple, I promptly jumped onto Deki's back and took a nap. The heat was pretty bad in Bikanel. I was bushed. According to Deki, (he recounted all this to me after I woke up), Ixion and Bahamut had their face-off (after Yuna had defeated the first four of Belgemine's aeons, that is), with Ixion coming out victorious once more. He fell to Yojimbo, weakened from the fight with Bahamut. Shiva managed to scrape a victory by the skin of her teeth, and finally it took the combined efforts of our Bahamut and Valefor to take down Belgemine's Anima. Belgemine stepped aside, handing over the Flower Sceptre and preparing for her last fight with the Magus Sisters. (This is when I woke up)

"Morning!" I said happily. "So how many of Belgemine's aeons did Yuna beat so far?" I asked in my usual optimistic manner. Deki proceeded to give me the recap you just read, and I grinned. "See, I knew Yuna could do it! She's like made of awesome." I stated. Rikku grinned and agreed along with me, ignoring the protests of a rather red-faced Yuna. After we calmed down, Yuna went over to the triple fayth of Remiem and prayed.

Congratulations! You have now gained the Magus Sisters as available summons!

I refrained from actually saying that. I had a feeling Auron would clonk me on the head with that big heavy sword. And totally ruin my beautiful skull line. Pfft.

"So, here's our last battle." Belgemine smiled enigmatically. I grinned happily, pulling out the popcorn and sitting down with Rikku, Tidus and Deki to watch. We got some nasty looks from Wakka, Lulu (though I don't think she was being serious), and most especially Auron. He's a scary bastard when he wants to be. Maybe it's 'cause he's dead and all and Tidus and I shuddered so bad 'cause we _know_ he's dead. Rikku seemed to wonder why we feared him so. I guess it's just human nature or something, I thought as I watched Belgemine summon the Sisters and Yuna summoned Anima, first going on the defensive with Protect, Shell and elemental Nuls (It was hell for me and Rikku collecting all those items just so they'd be 'wasted' on an aeon. We like having items we can use for _us_, you know) and then assaulting the trio with barrages of Pain and various elemental spells, taking a fair amount of damage in between.

Anima's eyes widened, and it healed herself and defended just in time for a Delta Attack. Anima hastily healed herself again and resumed her assault, focusing on the weakened Mindy, who collapsed after a few attacks and dissolved into pyreflies. So no more Delta Attack. Heh heh heh. I didn't realise I laughed out loud until...

"Why are you laughing?" Rikku asked me.

"'Cause they can't use Delta Attack without Mindy." I chuckled. "Even if Cindy and Sandy hit Overdrive, they won't be able to do that again." I explained. Rikku made an 'ohhh' face.

"You have a weird sense of humour, you know that?" she said cheerfully. I laughed and nodded, watching Sandy fall to another of Anima's attacks.

"And then there was one." I said, munching on my popcorn. I almost choked on it when I received both a blitzball and a katana to the head.

"Stop kidding around." Auron and Wakka snapped in unison. I twitched, suddenly majorly spooked.

"Since when did Auron and Wakka work together?" I asked shakily. Deki looked just as spooked.

"I dunno..." he whimpered, hiding behind me.

"H-Hey! Aren't you supposed to be the big strong man in this relationship?" I hissed at him, watching Rikku finish off the popcorn, laughing, just as Anima finished off Cindy.

"Everyone knows you wear the pants here, not me!"

"What, so you wear a skirt?" I snorted. He flushed and glared at me. Rikku and Tidus both snickered.

"Not you guys too!" he whined. Our funny little joke was cut short when Yuna walked over holding the Moon Sigil, having sent Belgemine.

"That's... the last one, right?" she asked. I nodded calmly, leading the way back to Macalania Woods once we left the temple. It took about an hour for all seven Legendary Weapons to become fully charged, though apparently their wielders could all feel their strength.

"Still think it was a waste of time?" I asked Auron, trying my hardest to not sound smug. He scowled at me. I grinned the grin of a troll. And that grin stayed in place for the entire journey back to the airship, until Cid told me I looked creepy, effectively killing my good troll-like mood.

"So, everyone, are we ready?" Yuna asked, turning around to face us. We all gave our affirmative answers.

"Time to go kill Sin."

* * *

**A/N****: I am SO sorry. I never intended for my update to take so long, but between the writer's block and being taken to hospital (Yes I'm sick. Pity me) I haven't had any time to write. I'm sorry, again, and I KNOW it's turned out as a big lump of filler.**

**But still, the Sin chapters start next! Leave me lots of lovely reviews to cheer me up in my moment of agonising sickness~!**


	17. Sorry not a chapter

*dodges rotten fruit*

I KNOW I KNOW I'M SORRY. This isn't an update, sorry to disappoint.

But I do have actual, valid reasons as to why I haven't updated in an eternity.

Number 1 - My laptop (the only thing capable of running word processing software other than Notepad (which I'm using now) died. I have the chapter backed up, but it's not done yet and I need to save up the money to get a big enough bag so I can take it to college and get the technicians to take a look at it (Yes I started college again. A different, much nicer college with no weird stalkers in it. I'm studying for a subsidiary diploma in IT.) I asked my tutor about it and he said it'd be fine.

Number 2 - We moved house in April. I'm STILL getting everything together (my mother has a lot of junk she brought with us) and making time for non-serious things. And for a small-town hick like myself, it's hard to learn my way around.

Number 3 - Socks just died. Literally last night. I woke up this morning and found him dead. I was planning on taking him to the vet's first thing tomorrow morning, which is when I get paid, but now I'm just taking the money out of my very meagre savings to get him cremated. I refuse to just toss him in the bin (like someone suggested when I told them my cat was sick) and forget about him. Socks has been with me for a long time (eight years and about four months), through all my hard times.

So please don't expect anything for a while. I am sorry, but I just can't write anything right now, even if my cat hadn't just died (because of the laptop thing). But yeah. I won't be updating for a while. I need to grieve.

So, I'll see you when I see you, I guess.


End file.
